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Shiloh
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20 Sep 2010, 1:46 pm

Hello. My name is Shiloh. I am 20 years old and I have Asperger's. I go to College and I have an NT boyfriend and a few friends. But I do not ever get sarcasm. My boyfriend has taken to doing the sign language sign for "sarcasm" when we are in public so that I know when someone is saying something sarcastic to me. But it's embarassing. Why do people like to use sarcasm? I always feel like "Oooh, the words you're saying do not mean what they should mean." Some of my friends joke that I am like Sheldon from the Big Bang Theory. But Sheldon is just a character, and I do not make enough money to buy myself things and survive on my own. How could he have made it (I know he is a fictional character) if he does not get sarcasm; so much of human interaction in the Western world seems to depend on it.

How do I learn to "get" sarcasm? Also, I like trains and outer space and cats and lots of music.



QuelOround
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20 Sep 2010, 1:55 pm

My NT girlfriend also gives me sign language cues for things like sarcasm or figures of speech. I'm not sure how I would survive on my own.



danandlouie
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20 Sep 2010, 2:24 pm

sheldon gets to be weird because he has an iq of about 200 and nt's know he may do something to change the world of particle physics. way smart=pass in life.

i'm way older than you guys and had to learn to read faces and people's voices. or i would get beat up. had no one to help me. so, you have to pay attention if you want to learn. do you want to learn? i know it hurts to look at someone when they're talking....but that's the only way to learn.

so, be patient young grasshopper, it will come.



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20 Sep 2010, 5:30 pm

danandlouie wrote:
so, be patient young grasshopper, it will come.


Or not. I'm still hopelessly lost. I think whether one is able to "get it" on one's own or not varies from spectrumite to spectrumite.


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Meadow
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20 Sep 2010, 5:39 pm

Sparrowrose wrote:
danandlouie wrote:
so, be patient young grasshopper, it will come.


Or not. I'm still hopelessly lost. I think whether one is able to "get it" on one's own or not varies from spectrumite to spectrumite.


It may not be something that comes natural, but it definitely can eventually be learned. It isn't something though that is the best thing really 'to' learn. The world would be a much nicer place without it. I think you have to be good at though to really be successful. I try my hand at it and it gets me slaughtered. Not a good thing to try if you're a novice.



LadybugQ
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20 Sep 2010, 6:09 pm

I learned sarcasm by watching TV; starting with "The Golden Girls" (yeah yeah yeah I'm old, deal with it) and probably some other shows I can't think of off the top of my head. "Two and a Half Men" is pretty good for learning sarcasm also, the older episodes.

Probably any current comedy on TV, the broadcast stations, would be instructive for learning sarcasm. Also, the show "House"; the primary character is the embodiment and personification of sarcasm!


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League_Girl
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20 Sep 2010, 10:26 pm

I'm not sure how I learned it. It was something new when I was 12. Mom started to teach it to me so I thought sarcasm was another word for lying because you say things that are not true so I started to go around saying things that are not true like I tell my aid she has on a nice dress even though she didn't have one on and she was wearing pants.

I also learned if you want someone to stop doing something, you tell them to do it more like I was talking in the car and mom asked me to talk louder. I got confused because why did she want me to talk loud if she could hear me? She told me it was called sarcasm because I am talking too loud and she wanted me to lower my voice so she told me to talk louder. So I also learned it's when you tell people to do things you don't want them to do.

So anyway I somehow learned when people say things about something bad like "Oh great" when they get stuck in traffic, it's sarcasm because why is it great? Same as when people ask someone if they can be even more annoying or rude. Why would they want them to be more annoying or rude? It's sarcasm is why.

I have gotten better at it over the years but I still miss it.

In A League of Their Own, Ernie was a scout who was very sarcastic. Lot of things he said was sarcasm like "Promise the cows you'd write?" making fun of them and "Hey cow girls, see the grass, don't eat it." I think sarcasm can be another way of making fun of someone.



jpfudgeworth
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21 Sep 2010, 3:43 am

My mother is the most sarcastic person I know so I have no trouble detecting it from other people.

What I do have a problem with is using a sarcastic tone when I say serious things. I catch myself sometimes and clarify.



auntblabby
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21 Sep 2010, 3:47 am

i was forced to discern the various sarcastic shades of meaning at a young age, in order to avoid beatings.



Meadow
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21 Sep 2010, 9:48 am

My mother was extremely sarcastic too, she had mean sayings for everything and cursed like a sailor. And nearly clubbed me to death everyday while she was at it just because I was me. Despite all her efforts she didn't succeed in making me the way she is. She was attempting to beat the sensitivity out of me. It didn't work. Though I might try on occasion, I'm very poor or mild at best with being sarcastic.



AdamG
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22 Sep 2010, 12:09 am

I don't understand sarcasm



Cicely
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22 Sep 2010, 1:00 pm

I understand sarcasm itself and I use it sometimes, but I can't always tell when other people are being sarcastic. If I know the person pretty well I can usually tell the difference between sarcasm and not-sarcasm. If I don't really know the person I can't tell unless their sarcastic tone is obvious enough for me to pick up on it.



rjgarn
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23 Sep 2010, 2:15 am

Shiloh wrote:
Hello. My name is Shiloh. I am 20 years old and I have Asperger's. I go to College and I have an NT boyfriend and a few friends. But I do not ever get sarcasm. My boyfriend has taken to doing the sign language sign for "sarcasm" when we are in public so that I know when someone is saying something sarcastic to me. But it's embarassing. Why do people like to use sarcasm? I always feel like "Oooh, the words you're saying do not mean what they should mean." Some of my friends joke that I am like Sheldon from the Big Bang Theory. But Sheldon is just a character, and I do not make enough money to buy myself things and survive on my own. How could he have made it (I know he is a fictional character) if he does not get sarcasm; so much of human interaction in the Western world seems to depend on it.

How do I learn to "get" sarcasm? Also, I like trains and outer space and cats and lots of music.


My best friend is the most sly and sarcastic I have ever met in my life. In fact I would that at least 75% of what he says is sarcasm and 25% of it (if you're lucky) is not. We've been close friends for a long time now (13-14 years), and he is well aware of the fact that I struggle deeply with understanding the concept, and unless I object strongly this does nothing to slow it down. However I would say that him constantly barraging me with it has helped me to understand it to the point of where I can usually spot it on my own. I don't fully understand sarcasm, at least in some senses, but in recent years I have developed and appreciation for it, even though I can't really do it myself. If you want to really learn how to enjoy it, I would suggest renting a few seasons of Seinfeld, watching that with my friend is what really taught me how to enjoy it.



James0Zero
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10 Oct 2010, 10:56 pm

Funny thing is I actually use sarcasm a LOT but don't usually catch it when my friends say it unless it's painfully obvious. Now that's funny. I typically use sarcasm when something is painfully obvious but someone asks me anyway. Such as "Hey how was going to see twilight with your gf?" they ask and I reply. "Oh it was WONDERFULL... I had SUCH a great time... as*hole."


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poppyfields
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10 Oct 2010, 11:09 pm

James0Zero wrote:
Funny thing is I actually use sarcasm a LOT but don't usually catch it when my friends say it unless it's painfully obvious. Now that's funny. I typically use sarcasm when something is painfully obvious but someone asks me anyway. Such as "Hey how was going to see twilight with your gf?" they ask and I reply. "Oh it was WONDERFULL... I had SUCH a great time... as*hole."


I'm the same way. I use it freely but can't pick up on it with as much ease.

I guess if sarcasm is used with an obvious change in voice tone I can detect it but when the voice change is subtle I have a much harder time.