Do you feel like you're more mature than the average person?
As you become older though, you may find the opposite becomes true, in that as others your age start to develop careers and have families, a lot of the things that seem to come naturally to them as adults still seem like big grown-up chores that you're never quite adequate at. That's the Executive Function part of the brain that for those with AS and HFA pretty much stops developing beyond adolescence. So you may find that as you get older, you start to feel significantly less mature than your peers.
This is exactly how I feel. Catching up with former friends on Facebook really puts into perspective how immature I am for my age. A lot of them are in relationships or are already married. I know at least one who has children. They're into mature things such as drinking alcohol and fashion. I feel like my mental growth has been stunted (or at least very delayed). I quit being interested in cartoons only less than a year ago, and I'm only now getting into make-up, movies and celebrities. Those are things I should have been getting into when I was still a teenager.
But even though this "immature" aspect of me makes me feel a little embarrassed, I do try to accept it as part of who I am. I even try to embrace it, because hey, why fight it? Life's too short to pretend to be someone you're not. Besides, my mom has told me: "You've grown a lot within the past couple of years. But even if you never mature beyond this point, I'm perfectly happy with it."
As you become older though, you may find the opposite becomes true, in that as others your age start to develop careers and have families, a lot of the things that seem to come naturally to them as adults still seem like big grown-up chores that you're never quite adequate at. That's the Executive Function part of the brain that for those with AS and HFA pretty much stops developing beyond adolescence. So you may find that as you get older, you start to feel significantly less mature than your peers.
This is exactly how I feel. Catching up with former friends on Facebook really puts into perspective how immature I am for my age. A lot of them are in relationships or are already married. I know at least one who has children. They're into mature things such as drinking alcohol and fashion. I feel like my mental growth has been stunted (or at least very delayed). I quit being interested in cartoons only less than a year ago, and I'm only now getting into make-up, movies and celebrities. Those are things I should have been getting into when I was still a teenager.
But even though this "immature" aspect of me makes me feel a little embarrassed, I do try to accept it as part of who I am. I even try to embrace it, because hey, why fight it? Life's too short to pretend to be someone you're not. Besides, my mom has told me: "You've grown a lot within the past couple of years. But even if you never mature beyond this point, I'm perfectly happy with it."
You see, I don't like this idea that being "mature" means you have to have the exact same interests and goals in life as everyone else. Also, since when is drinking alcohol and being interested in fashion mature? In fact it's usually immature teenagers and young college students who buy into the silly "getting drunk = coming of age" BS. Don't ever be embarrassed about who you are. Being a genuine and interesting person is far better quality than being boring and "mature".
I wouldn't say "mature." I'd say I feel more "enlightened." I don't understand the way the majority of people live or the things they value. I don't see what is wrong with wanting to watch kiddie TV shows, or to live life without ever getting married or having kids. I don't know why people who enjoy their lower-status jobs get ridiculed for not quitting and trying to move up the corporate ladder.
I've always felt simultaneously about 15 and 50 years old.
It depends. If you mean mature as in interacting with other people and that, then no. I admit that I can act like a child, and I don't know when to keep my mouth shut, or when to say the right thing, or when to just say the truth, or when people expect me to lie, so I can come off as very immature.
If you mean mature as in studying and understand and learning things mature, than yes. I can do and understand things many people can. I can also work stuff out for myself, and am very efficient and organized, as my boss once told me, and I do things very methodically. Also in certain topics. Like I have no problem in eating a turkey or anything, even though I saw it butchered. Many people I know would not do this. Where do you think meats come from? Beef, pork, poultry, everything. Or eating things like grasshoppers. Hey, if people in the south eat them, then it's food, and they're edible. I can also discuss most things that would make other people blush or gag, which I don't get, cause it's the truth.
_________________
"Of all God's creatures, there is only one that cannot be made slave of the leash. That one is the cat. If man could be crossed with the cat it would improve the man, but it would deteriorate the cat." - Mark Twain
At some things. 25 year old virgin, I like video games, am unemployed, never graduated from college... but maybe that's because I've had cancer three times so far and have learned a hell of a lot more on my own than at my third rate (no matter WHAT they say) school. I'm practically a doctor.
On career and family: I've said it before and I'll say it again. I'd rather f**k a sandblaster than have kids. On career, I'm a writer. Take from that what you will.
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What on earth do you think you are, if not a robot, albeit a very complicated one? - Richard Dawkins, The Selfish Gene
Last edited by MizLiz on 09 Oct 2010, 11:48 pm, edited 1 time in total.
LuxoJr
Deinonychus
Joined: 2 Dec 2009
Age: 29
Gender: Female
Posts: 391
Location: a dance party on the moon
I am like a child. But I have the intellect of an adult.
It's like a 5 years who uses big words and understands the psychology of other people, including themselves, yet are still naive with most things, even while knowing the reason behind it.
Perhaps I just forget.
_________________
We could sail on a pancake sail ship in an ocean of chocolate. And if it sinks we could hitch a ride on a ratatouille rocket.
As you become older though, you may find the opposite becomes true, in that as others your age start to develop careers and have families, a lot of the things that seem to come naturally to them as adults still seem like big grown-up chores that you're never quite adequate at. That's the Executive Function part of the brain that for those with AS and HFA pretty much stops developing beyond adolescence. So you may find that as you get older, you start to feel significantly less mature than your peers.
I agree. I feel I maxed out on my maturity level back around 20 years old and got stuck there. I can fake being more adult at times, but my social development hasn't progressed much beyond that. I think there are some good points to being underdeveloped. When I talk to older people they seem so rigid and fixed in their ways. I still have a child-like curiosity and can be much more flexible and willing to change compared to people even at my age.
happymusic
Veteran
Joined: 10 Feb 2010
Age: 49
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,165
Location: still in ninja land
I'm weird - I'm mature but immature at the same time. When it comes to relationships, I'm very, very mature about them. If I notice any odd signs in a man what is making me feel uncomfortable, I'm off. I don't just want to stick with someone who is making me feel uncomfortable. Also, I don't just want to go out with anybody just for the sake of ''having a man''. Not everybody is in a relationship. I know loads of people who have split up and are now living on their own, and they say they love living on their own. I don't blame them. The only time when I will really fall in love is when the right man for me comes along, and it's only a matter of time when one will, because men seem to like me (I don't know what they see in me, so I must be pretty).
But when it comes to other things, I am VERY immature. More immature than my mental age (which is 12/13). Like when my mum talks to my brother instead of me, I sulk and get angry. That is behaviour of a 3-year-old. I don't do this all the time. I just sometimes get angry, because my brother gets on my nerves, from the way he speaks. He is NT, but he has a monotone voice what he tries to add attitude to, but doesn't always work, and so comes out in a forced way, making him sound annoying. So I get angry and mope about - which is very immature I know - please don't remind me! I like to admit things to myself but I don't like other people reminding me, because I don't like people rubbing it in.
There is just no ''in between'' with me - I'm either too mature for my age or too immature for my age.
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Female
Seph
Velociraptor
Joined: 24 May 2011
Age: 47
Gender: Male
Posts: 406
Location: In a space station in orbit around Saturn
I find that most people are "socially-biased". They can't see the world from above (outside a human social perspective). It feels like I'm watching a group of ants moving around and becoming so obsessed with the social rules/obligations that they miss much of the outside world. By failing to fully follow/understand these social rules we are prone to be misunderstood as being immature/naive. But I think this view is kind of misconstrued.
We may be immature socially compared to others because to be able to see humans from "an angels's point of view" we need to also separate ourselves from social context/bias. This makes us intellectually quite mature. And yet we can't fully escape this dichotomy because we also require each other to survive. I think this is where a lot of our problems lie. We want to escape these silly social conventions but we also can't because to do so would require that we be completely isolated. That's difficult to do even from ASD/introverts.
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