Just your average gay geek

Page 1 of 1 [ 9 posts ]

Joined: 12 Oct 2010
Age: 47
Gender: Male
Posts: 1
Location: Atlanta

12 Oct 2010, 11:35 pm

Hi there!

I'm Clay. I'm 33, male, gay, neurotypical, but anything but typical. I've never really felt like I fit in and have had some trouble building meaningful friendships over the years. For work I'm a software developer and in my free time I play drums.

I discovered this site while doing some research on Asperger's. I've been pining for an on-again/off-again friend of mine for the past eleven years. Our friendship has been quite sporadic and tumultuous over the years. He seems to have trouble building and maintaining lasting relationships, and it either unwilling or unable to feel empathy. It occurred to me recently that his behavior may not be malicious, but may in fact be due to something like Asperger's. So I'm hoping I can chat with some folks here to help me understand a little more about how aspies approach relationships and dating.

Cheers,

Clay

dyingofpoetry
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 25 Apr 2010
Age: 60
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,202
Location: Fairmont, WV

12 Oct 2010, 11:57 pm

Well, I am a gay Aspergian myself and your description of your friend would apply to me completely. If he does have Asperger's, try not to put demands on him; take things easy and don't make him feel as if you are requiring him to do certain things or behave a certain way. If he feels pressure to conform to an expected type, he will hide. Show him appreciation for the way he is.

_________________
"If you can't call someone else an idiot, then you are obviously not very good at what you do."

Emeria
Tufted Titmouse

Joined: 11 Oct 2010
Age: 36
Gender: Female
Posts: 31

13 Oct 2010, 12:00 am

Hi, Clay! Welcome to WP. There's a lot of good resources here and if you're interested in the relational aspect, the "Love and Dating" forum might be a good place to start looking and ask questions. =)

_________________
"Life isn't fair. It's just fairer than death, that's all."

~And if I'm flying solo, at least I'm flying free!~

James0Zero
Snowy Owl

Joined: 7 Oct 2010
Age: 34
Gender: Male
Posts: 153
Location: Harlan KY

13 Oct 2010, 12:08 am

Hey howzit goin dawg? ... Sorry about that. Anyway one of the bonuses my traumatic trip through school gave me was complete disregard for all forms of prejudice. You'll thankfully find none from me and I expect the same from my peers. It must be hard to find a message board on the internet that doesn't ridicule you.

_________________
"The very existence of flamethrowers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, 'You know I want to set those people over there on fire, but I'm just not close enough to get the job done.'"-George Carlin

PinkieOfDoom
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

Joined: 25 Apr 2005
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 68
Location: CT

13 Oct 2010, 2:27 am

claymation wrote:

I'm a 21-year-old girl with Asperger's currently attempting to pursue a relationship with another girl. You can ask me questions if you want, although I tell you right now that the hardest thing was just asking her out, despite the face that she was showing very clear and apparent signs of liking me because I didn't want to be wrong and to use some vernacular, "be a creeper". The next hardest thing is now figuring out what to do for a date.

_________________
Early to rise
Early to bed
Makes a man healthy
But socially dead

Brainfre3ze_93
Veteran
Veteran