Whats the difference between social anxiety and aspergers?

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I can't tell if I'm AS or SA, sometimes. I'm often afraid of social interaction, and other times, it just bores me so much that I would like to be alone and read.

I have an embarassing stimming. I poke and twirl my penis. I used to be called "pockets". My hands were constantly down there. I learned to curb it down in front of people. It helps me relax. I still do it but I'm better.

Thats kinda like asking "am I an American, or am I a golfer?"

They are kinda unlike categories, and on top of that they are not mutually exclusive.

SA is a more narrow condition of have anxiety about being around people.

Aspergers is more complicated condition having to do with being impaired in social skills and picking up on social cues and much else.

One could have both conditions. Though I would bet that most folks with SA are NT.

You sure seem to be an expert in aspies. Though I have aspie, but I also avoid people that seem very distant from me. I mean if they looked too proud, high class, and not interested in me, I avoid them. Maybe I'm too scared to try. I feel uncomfortable. I don't feel comfortable with my in-laws. First is because they are also not close to my wife. Second, though I did say to myself I should try, but I do not know what to say or talk about. During festivals every year, I go to their house with my wife, but I just sit there like a dumb bell! When they ask me something, I just answer, not really making a conversation which I should. I actually hated myself for it. I'm sure to them, it looks like I just don't like talking to them. Reality is, I wish I know how. My wife passed away about 3 years ago, but her family never know I have asperger. I wish I know how, but I never meet her family anymore after her death. Neither did they call or visit me. But at least I do send them sms during the festival seasons.

Maybe you are just having the social anxiety, and not the autism/asperger at all, since you have no problem with the social cues. I think you should see the autism psychiatrist who diagnosed you again to find it.

See - this is the problem. People think that Autism and AS is so specific that if you don't behave in this certain way then you don't have AS. No - that is not always true. I do have AS - I got diagnosed at 8, I've been in denial about it ever since, right up until I was about 19, which was when I was beginning to accept it. There is a social deficit I have, but it's so hard to pinpoint the actual difference, although it is there. I don't have any trouble reading non-verbal cues, and I find small talk natural, and not sure about eye contact - I've been told I make normal eye contact, but when I think too much about where to put my eyes while someone is speaking to me, I seem to go all over the place.
The only social parts I find really difficult is asking questions, and joining in group conversations, because I can't seem to learn or know the differences between curiosity and being nosy or ''butting in''. I've been told that I ''look over people's shoulders'' a lot, which apparently means I butt my way into conversations what I'm not supposed to. Even though I've seen (and had) NTs do this all the time, people just seem to be against me on this one.
Anyway - let's get to the point. I seem a typical Aspie in other ways. I'm hypersensitive to loud noise, worry about everything, find it hard to cope with change, struggle to find employment, I have outbursts (usually triggered off by anger), mood swings, obsessions which has got me stalking people before, very poor motivation skills (difficulties with responsibilities), never go clubbing, and (not sure if this is Aspie-related or not) jealousy of NTs. I think there is some AS going on there. And it does affect the social part, but not intensely. Maybe it's because I'm a female been brought up by NT parents and sibling, NT cousins, NT aunts and uncles, and so on, and I went to mainstream school throughout my whole school life, so maybe I picked up the general social cues from them, I don't know.
I am not NT, although I bloody wish I was!! !

Is that a typical Aspie feeling?

There are so many differences between Aspergers and Social Anxiety. It is like comparing apples and oranges. Or something even more distantly related because the two are not similar. People can have both, but most people with social anxiety are not autistic. Likewise, there are a lot of autistic people who do not have social anxiety. People with autism are characterized by social limitations among other things. This does not automatically make the autistic person anxious. Being anxious is not a characteristic of autism. If an autistic person is anxious enough, then the person has both asd and some form of anxiety. I would say if you are SCARED to talk to people, SCARED to smile at people, and SCARED to make eye contact, that sounds like anxiety, not asd. People with asd and no anxiety are not scared to do these things, we just sometimes don't.

Autistic people can learn social cues, but I don't know if any actually become "brilliant" in employing them. You are lucky if you are ASD, female, and able to learn social cues so easily. I am also female with ASD, raised by non-autistic parents, with non-autistic siblings, in a mainstream school, and I still have no clue how to behave in public and how to socially interact with other people.

I do make a lot of social mistakes though, but I know what they are immediately afterwards. Like I said earlier, I do have some problems with socialising. But normally I'm anxious in social situations, because I'm scared to do something wrong, or I'm scared to join in in case people might look at me and think, ''I wasn't talking to you!'' or something like that.

I don't know what's wrong with me. I don't have mild AS though, because I seem to have all the other symptoms what come out strongly, (as mentioned in the short list in one of my above posts). But we're all different. I struggle in other ways in social interaction. I wouldn't be seen dead working in a bar or pub.

I figured I'd reply to this thread instead of making a new one, but since we are on the topic of social cues, would it be considered an AS trait if you know what tone of voice the other person is using but unable to respond correctly to it?
Like, if someone was to get angry at me yet I am unable to say the right thing or if someone was to get excited yet I don't know what "feeling" I'm supposed to have.

I guess two good examples is when I was an assistant manager at a local restaurant. Some people would get upset about things but I didn't know how to apologize correctly. I would normally just remedy whatever happened and that would be it.
Another example is when I went to the bank the other day and applied for a loan. I was approved of it and the person that was helping me with the loan got excited and said "Woohoo isn't that great?" and went for a high five. It took me a second but I just accepted the high five and replied "ok" in my normal voice.

And another example was also back when I was an asst manager. There was a group of people that was having a birthday party but they had used there alloted time up but wouldn't leave and was also being slightly disruptive. I knew that it was wrong but I was unable to handle the situation because I didn't know exactly what to do.
I was recognized as a good assistant manager but I remember people telling me that I needed to work on my "people skills" because I would occasionally handle a situation without regard to the customers feelings.

Most people with asperger's are going to have some social anxiety, but anxiety is not the main reason for lack of socialization, rather lack of social skill and sensory overload are the causes of the anxiety much of the time. Of course there are many other symptoms of AS, it is not simply a social dysfunction. So telling them apart will not be too difficult if you know the symptoms. If someone only has anxiety then socializing around people they are comfortable around should be much easier than with new acquaintances, but for people with asperger's their level of comfort will only make so much of a difference in social ability. That's how it is with me at least.

I have Aspergers yet I am extremley outgoing. I lvoe getting up in front of the class and meeting new people. But i just cannot look someone in the eyes. I do know other Aspergers people who hate talking to others and social speaking. Whereas I like it, i think i like the attention (because maybe i feel taht no-one cares for me and ,ike it when someone talks tome0.

I have Aspergers yet I am extremley outgoing. I lvoe getting up in front of the class and meeting new people. But i just cannot look someone in the eyes. I do know other Aspergers people who hate talking to others and social speaking. Whereas I like it, i think i like the attention (because maybe i feel taht no-one cares for me and ,ike it when someone talks tome0.

I can see a difference between:

1. People who are naturally extraverted and also have SAD versus AS and
2. People who are introverted with SAD versus AS

The latter are a bit harder to differentiate because unlike 1 above, introverts, like most AS tend to be excessively focused on their own internal thoughts. Even when they talk to other people, they're not really talking/listening to them at a "deep"/interactive level, even if they are seeking social interaction. There doesn't seem to be this two-way street ("connection") that is seen with NTs, I think. My psychiatrist told me that autistics (and severe introverts?) tend to talk at people not with them. It's as if social interaction is not so much a way to get to know others but to bounce and learn stuff from others or meet basic needs (sex, companionship). I'm not sure if this makes sense, but as a severe introvert, I can relate to this. Then again, I could be full of crap because, I still have a lot of trouble to understanding how I think and relate to others. I seem to change my mind/personality daily depending on what I read.

Since when do Aspies love meeting new people?