Do you know any 'as*hole Aspies'?
If someone is mean to me or insults me or something I love, I will not hesitate to be mean back.
I'm the same way. If you're nice to me, I'll respect you. If you're mean or think I'm a bad person, I'll reciprocate my feelings back to you.
You will become just like the people who are mean to you. And then, if you complain about their meaness, you will be a hypocrite. That's how I was most of my life, and still often am. We have to try to remember that wise old saying "Two wrongs don't make a right."
My friend who is also an aspie is an English teacher and he has a tendency to come off as a bit of a smartass to his students. However I doubt he would say that it's attributed to his AS. It's just in his personal nature.
If anything the worse kind of people I have to deal with are people who use their intellect as some kind of grand holy pedestal for themselves regardless of whether they're NT or an autie. They'll be quick to close off any other view or personalities as being stupid while they believe their personality or beliefs makes them more intellectually superior to others and some will really get nasty about it in your face too. Me being a girl I have to deal with this kind of stuff from guys all the time...especially those that dont have a lot of self esteem and thus use their intelligence as a crutch to hit people (especially girls) with.
I am guilty of this one.. it's one of my worst personality traits and I'm working hard to stop doing it. I am not however a male chauvinist, and I do not have any reason to believe either sex is more intelligent.
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"He was a dreamer, a thinker, a speculative philosopher... or, as his wife would have it, an idiot." -Douglas Adams
If someone is mean to me or insults me or something I love, I will not hesitate to be mean back.
I'm the same way. If you're nice to me, I'll respect you. If you're mean or think I'm a bad person, I'll reciprocate my feelings back to you.
You will become just like the people who are mean to you. And then, if you complain about their meaness, you will be a hypocrite. That's how I was most of my life, and still often am. We have to try to remember that wise old saying "Two wrongs don't make a right."
I try and be nice to people no matter what but when someone is mean to me, I tend to be mean back. I see it as self defense and I don't even care if I am seen as a bully or a bad person. I just think that person is stupid then and just as bad as that other person.
Concerning the use of autism as an excuse for rude or hurtfull behaviour, as mentioned in this thread I do sometimes wonder if that's the case. I don't think I do, but I've been made aware that certain members of my limited social circle believe I do.
Thats the thing, I dont use my AS as an excuse to be one. Its just my simple lack of caring about people that does it, as I feel people just get in my way 99% of the time. Its a bit difficult to explain exactly what I mean.
I think I understand.
When someone is percieved to be a rude and hurtfull person and doesn't show any remorse or shame for their actions, while being open about having a condition like AS, it's not uncommon for others to think this person is hiding behind their condition.
Often when I'm argueing with someone about my behaviour and bring up AS to clarify, I am immediately accused of "making excuses". Some people have trouble understanding the difference between an "explanation" and an "excuse".
I don't even mention I have AS when something goes wrong. Like if someone got offended with what I said or a misunderstanding happened.
DemonAbyss10
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Joined: 23 Aug 2007
Age: 35
Gender: Male
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Location: The Poconos, Pennsylvania
Concerning the use of autism as an excuse for rude or hurtfull behaviour, as mentioned in this thread I do sometimes wonder if that's the case. I don't think I do, but I've been made aware that certain members of my limited social circle believe I do.
Thats the thing, I dont use my AS as an excuse to be one. Its just my simple lack of caring about people that does it, as I feel people just get in my way 99% of the time. Its a bit difficult to explain exactly what I mean.
I think I understand.
When someone is percieved to be a rude and hurtfull person and doesn't show any remorse or shame for their actions, while being open about having a condition like AS, it's not uncommon for others to think this person is hiding behind their condition.
Often when I'm argueing with someone about my behaviour and bring up AS to clarify, I am immediately accused of "making excuses". Some people have trouble understanding the difference between an "explanation" and an "excuse".
I don't even mention I have AS when something goes wrong. Like if someone got offended with what I said or a misunderstanding happened.
Exactly league girl. I don't even mention the AS unless it is absolutely necessary (IE: when talking to my healthcare professionals.). What I say is what I say, and as I have mentioned, making people all happy and s**t isn't in my personality. If they get offended they get offended. I won't apologize because apologies mean jack s**t, its just a waste of time. A large portion of my personality I feel definitely has developed due to what I feel as a response to society's BS social "dancing". I just feel society is far to inefficient to even improve itself, and I personally feel that my path is more time and energy efficient. not spouting facts, just merely opinions.
basically, the following phrases are a large part of me in response to behavior arguments anymore.
If it happened it happened.
Can't change what happened.
Why should I care?
If you don't like who I am, tough luck.
stuff like that, and variations thereof....
_________________
Myers Brigg - ISTP
Socionics - ISTx
Enneagram - 6w5
Yes, I do have a DeviantArt, it is at.... http://demonabyss10.deviantart.com/
Concerning the use of autism as an excuse for rude or hurtfull behaviour, as mentioned in this thread I do sometimes wonder if that's the case. I don't think I do, but I've been made aware that certain members of my limited social circle believe I do.
Thats the thing, I dont use my AS as an excuse to be one. Its just my simple lack of caring about people that does it, as I feel people just get in my way 99% of the time. Its a bit difficult to explain exactly what I mean.
I think I understand.
When someone is percieved to be a rude and hurtfull person and doesn't show any remorse or shame for their actions, while being open about having a condition like AS, it's not uncommon for others to think this person is hiding behind their condition.
Often when I'm argueing with someone about my behaviour and bring up AS to clarify, I am immediately accused of "making excuses". Some people have trouble understanding the difference between an "explanation" and an "excuse".
I don't even mention I have AS when something goes wrong. Like if someone got offended with what I said or a misunderstanding happened.
Exactly league girl. I don't even mention the AS unless it is absolutely necessary (IE: when talking to my healthcare professionals.). What I say is what I say, and as I have mentioned, making people all happy and sh** isn't in my personality. If they get offended they get offended. I won't apologize because apologies mean jack sh**, its just a waste of time. A large portion of my personality I feel definitely has developed due to what I feel as a response to society's BS social "dancing". I just feel society is far to inefficient to even improve itself, and I personally feel that my path is more time and energy efficient. not spouting facts, just merely opinions.
basically, the following phrases are a large part of me in response to behavior arguments anymore.
If it happened it happened.
Can't change what happened.
Why should I care?
If you don't like who I am, tough luck.
stuff like that, and variations thereof....
not apologizing for your actions could lead people to think you are an as*hole. if that bothers you, you already know what you can do to change it. it is doesn't bother you, then be prepared for people to treat you the same way, and you will have no recourse to ever complain about it.
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Concerning the use of autism as an excuse for rude or hurtfull behaviour, as mentioned in this thread I do sometimes wonder if that's the case. I don't think I do, but I've been made aware that certain members of my limited social circle believe I do.
Thats the thing, I dont use my AS as an excuse to be one. Its just my simple lack of caring about people that does it, as I feel people just get in my way 99% of the time. Its a bit difficult to explain exactly what I mean.
I think I understand.
When someone is percieved to be a rude and hurtfull person and doesn't show any remorse or shame for their actions, while being open about having a condition like AS, it's not uncommon for others to think this person is hiding behind their condition.
Often when I'm argueing with someone about my behaviour and bring up AS to clarify, I am immediately accused of "making excuses". Some people have trouble understanding the difference between an "explanation" and an "excuse".
I don't even mention I have AS when something goes wrong. Like if someone got offended with what I said or a misunderstanding happened.
Exactly league girl. I don't even mention the AS unless it is absolutely necessary (IE: when talking to my healthcare professionals.). What I say is what I say, and as I have mentioned, making people all happy and sh** isn't in my personality. If they get offended they get offended. I won't apologize because apologies mean jack sh**, its just a waste of time. A large portion of my personality I feel definitely has developed due to what I feel as a response to society's BS social "dancing". I just feel society is far to inefficient to even improve itself, and I personally feel that my path is more time and energy efficient. not spouting facts, just merely opinions.
basically, the following phrases are a large part of me in response to behavior arguments anymore.
If it happened it happened.
Can't change what happened.
Why should I care?
If you don't like who I am, tough luck.
stuff like that, and variations thereof....
I apologize anyway for offending even if I think I did nothing wrong. I guess because I do it to be nice and I want them to forget it and move on. If they don't, the apology was useless then and I wonder what is the point in apologizing if people like to hold grudges?
Last edited by League_Girl on 20 Oct 2010, 10:35 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Yep, I even coined a phrase to address it: "being an Aspie doesn't mean you aren't an as*hole", to describe people trying to lay of bad behavior on AS.
_________________
“The totally convinced and the totally stupid have too much in common for the resemblance to be accidental.”
-- Robert Anton Wilson
DemonAbyss10
Veteran
Joined: 23 Aug 2007
Age: 35
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,492
Location: The Poconos, Pennsylvania
Concerning the use of autism as an excuse for rude or hurtfull behaviour, as mentioned in this thread I do sometimes wonder if that's the case. I don't think I do, but I've been made aware that certain members of my limited social circle believe I do.
Thats the thing, I dont use my AS as an excuse to be one. Its just my simple lack of caring about people that does it, as I feel people just get in my way 99% of the time. Its a bit difficult to explain exactly what I mean.
I think I understand.
When someone is percieved to be a rude and hurtfull person and doesn't show any remorse or shame for their actions, while being open about having a condition like AS, it's not uncommon for others to think this person is hiding behind their condition.
Often when I'm argueing with someone about my behaviour and bring up AS to clarify, I am immediately accused of "making excuses". Some people have trouble understanding the difference between an "explanation" and an "excuse".
I don't even mention I have AS when something goes wrong. Like if someone got offended with what I said or a misunderstanding happened.
Exactly league girl. I don't even mention the AS unless it is absolutely necessary (IE: when talking to my healthcare professionals.). What I say is what I say, and as I have mentioned, making people all happy and sh** isn't in my personality. If they get offended they get offended. I won't apologize because apologies mean jack sh**, its just a waste of time. A large portion of my personality I feel definitely has developed due to what I feel as a response to society's BS social "dancing". I just feel society is far to inefficient to even improve itself, and I personally feel that my path is more time and energy efficient. not spouting facts, just merely opinions.
basically, the following phrases are a large part of me in response to behavior arguments anymore.
If it happened it happened.
Can't change what happened.
Why should I care?
If you don't like who I am, tough luck.
stuff like that, and variations thereof....
I apologize anyway for offending even if I didn't think I did nothing wrong. I guess because I do it to be nice and I want them to forget it and move on. If they don't, the apology was useless then and I wonder what is the point in apologizing if people like to hold grudges?
@ Hyperlexian: Its because I just feel apologies do nothing. Ive been in many situations where they have just pissed off and annoyed people even more. Yeah I know I get called an as*hole on occasions, and all I say to the person calling me one is, "s**t happens, no use bitching and moaning about it, might as well just move on with your life instead of whining about it." It gets to the point where sometimes I just call myself emotionally pragmatic. I don't let my own or anyone elses get in my way. I might 'lend' an ear though and "act" like I give a s**t, but I usually don't. What I do consider odd as hell is that friends, family, and even people ive known only a short time coming to me for relationship advice. I guess it could be because my advice has helped people, and they just spread the word. Its a bit weird how an ass like myself can be trusted to give people advice :/
@League_girl: As I said in my reply to hyperlexian, that is kinda why I don't appologize. Most people I personally know of or just been around don't really ever accept them. Of course, I've "grown up" in the coal regions, so we are all are a bit more like the aussies/irish/any other similar society. Around here its a bit of a cultural thing to just simply not give a s**t.
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Myers Brigg - ISTP
Socionics - ISTx
Enneagram - 6w5
Yes, I do have a DeviantArt, it is at.... http://demonabyss10.deviantart.com/
And I sometimes feel like giving up apologizing. Like I have said, what is the point if people don't move on? I sometimes think as*holes are sometimes created by society because of how people act and you get so sick of it, you decide enough and shut down and you get less nicer. One of them be not even apologizing anymore because you got so sick of people not moving on after you apologize. So you decide "that's it, I am done." Now you have become a jerk because of stupid people.
DemonAbyss10
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Joined: 23 Aug 2007
Age: 35
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,492
Location: The Poconos, Pennsylvania
Basically.
_________________
Myers Brigg - ISTP
Socionics - ISTx
Enneagram - 6w5
Yes, I do have a DeviantArt, it is at.... http://demonabyss10.deviantart.com/
auntblabby
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