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MotherKnowsBest
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21 Oct 2010, 5:43 am

Am I allowed to post links to other forums here?

What the heck..... here is a link to a really good support forum for people who have survived abuse.

http://www.brokenspirits.com/

I found it really helpful. They also have lots of information on where to get help/counselling/support in whichever country you live in.

I can guarantee you that there will be women on that forum who have experienced/are experiencing the exact same as you. Knowing you are not alone is great therapy.



Erisad
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21 Oct 2010, 7:41 am

emlion wrote:
He's not worth the effort of hurting him. :)
He's clearly sad with his own life if he's bothering to mess up mine. :evil:

Today is slightly better. I don't feel like giving up on life today.
Looking forward to work + a night in with a movie and a takeaway.
Things could definitely be worse.


You go girl! :D



Who_Am_I
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21 Oct 2010, 9:55 am

^ What she said.


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hyperlexian
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21 Oct 2010, 10:20 am

emlion wrote:
He's not worth the effort of hurting him. :)
He's clearly sad with his own life if he's bothering to mess up mine. :evil:

Today is slightly better. I don't feel like giving up on life today.
Looking forward to work + a night in with a movie and a takeaway.
Things could definitely be worse.

that is an amazing attitude! so proud of you for thinking that way.


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emlion
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21 Oct 2010, 10:51 am

hyperlexian wrote:
emlion wrote:
He's not worth the effort of hurting him. :)
He's clearly sad with his own life if he's bothering to mess up mine. :evil:

Today is slightly better. I don't feel like giving up on life today.
Looking forward to work + a night in with a movie and a takeaway.
Things could definitely be worse.

that is an amazing attitude! so proud of you for thinking that way.


Thanks. :3
When my boyfriend is in the room I seriously feel so much better.
He's here right now, just doing some work but just his presence is calming.
I feel like I could take on the world.



luvsterriers
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21 Oct 2010, 11:28 am

emlion wrote:
Why do men think they can hit me and rape me and abuse me in any way?
I don't understand why i'm such a bad person that they can do that to me.
I know i'm useless and ugly and all those things - but why do they feel the need to toy with me?


I'm 32 and I haven't dated for 7 years. Back then I guess I couldn't live without a man. I just wanted a boyfriend to feel loved. I remember each of my ex boyfriends. How sad is that? One broke up with me over email during my finals week in college. I just transferred to a 4 year university from a 2 year community college. My first boyfriend was during my 3rd year of high school. He broke up with me in a letter to one of my classmates. Oh and the best break up of all? He just stopped talking to me and we were together 3 years. That is a long story. One guy I dated for a month then I didn't hear a word from him but that was ok. One month wasn't serious. So then years later he finds me on some chat network and he tells me that he was already MARRIED when we were dating. I was shocked and livid. I'm one of those type of women that do NOT want to be someones mistress. I was disgusted that he would cheat on his wife. He had kids too! These boyfriends wanted to sleep with me so badly but I am not that type of woman to do that. I want to wait till my wedding night. But I guess men don't want to wait. :( :?


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zaidjit
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22 Oct 2010, 1:06 am

Hey emlion,

I can't answer why some men are a***holes. But I do wish to point out something that may be useful to you. Your boyfriend is a good person right? You say you don't deserve him, but didn't he have a choice in picking you? When I feel dark I think of my husband and how he will feel if I were to not be here anymore. I try and fight the dark thoughts away for him. He is the only reason I started therapy, and stayed in it trying to feel better.

I guess what I wrote may seem like all I had to think about was my hubby for everything to be bright and cheery. I have struggled for a few years now to get to the point where I am mostly convinced he needs me.

Hugs



emlion
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22 Oct 2010, 4:15 am

zaidjit wrote:
Hey emlion,

I can't answer why some men are a***holes. But I do wish to point out something that may be useful to you. Your boyfriend is a good person right? You say you don't deserve him, but didn't he have a choice in picking you? When I feel dark I think of my husband and how he will feel if I were to not be here anymore. I try and fight the dark thoughts away for him. He is the only reason I started therapy, and stayed in it trying to feel better.

I guess what I wrote may seem like all I had to think about was my hubby for everything to be bright and cheery. I have struggled for a few years now to get to the point where I am mostly convinced he needs me.

Hugs


That is exactly what he says to me when I tell him i'm not good enough. He says 'well I want to be with you, no one is forcing me too. You're just right for me, and i'm just right for you.'
I am trying to stay positive and I can when he's here. :) Now I just have to learn to when he's not here. And I will, because I can do anything in my life - i've gotten past worse obstacles before. :)



CaroleTucson
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22 Oct 2010, 6:03 pm

emlion wrote:
Why do men think they can hit me and rape me and abuse me in any way?
I don't understand why i'm such a bad person that they can do that to me.


Hit you???? Rape you????

Are you speaking literally here? Because if you are, these men need to be in jail!! !



RightGalaxy
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01 Nov 2010, 8:07 pm

Please, please dearest Emlion, go to counseling and talk about your issues regarding boundaries. When I was young, I had no sense of where others ended and I began. I had no self-esteem and this came from years of abuse. I was raped as a very young child and this set the theme for a downward spiral until one day I woke up and said, "That's it! I've had enough! I am worth something!" This will all end NOW!! This happened at the age of thirty. I wasted all of my youth in my own private hell. I needed counciling as a child but never got it. At thirty, I paid for it myself. Thirty years of CHAINS on my soul.



emlion
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02 Nov 2010, 6:00 am

CaroleTucson wrote:
emlion wrote:
Why do men think they can hit me and rape me and abuse me in any way?
I don't understand why i'm such a bad person that they can do that to me.


Hit you???? Rape you????

Are you speaking literally here? Because if you are, these men need to be in jail!! !


They should be, but they're not.
But they're out of my life now.



emlion
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02 Nov 2010, 6:01 am

RightGalaxy wrote:
Please, please dearest Emlion, go to counseling and talk about your issues regarding boundaries. When I was young, I had no sense of where others ended and I began. I had no self-esteem and this came from years of abuse. I was raped as a very young child and this set the theme for a downward spiral until one day I woke up and said, "That's it! I've had enough! I am worth something!" This will all end NOW!! This happened at the age of thirty. I wasted all of my youth in my own private hell. I needed counciling as a child but never got it. At thirty, I paid for it myself. Thirty years of CHAINS on my soul.


Things are much better now.
I was just having a moment. :oops:
I do go to counseling and it's really helping - at first it wasn't but now it's helping me see things in a different way.



RightGalaxy
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02 Nov 2010, 10:35 am

emlion wrote:
RightGalaxy wrote:
Please, please dearest Emlion, go to counseling and talk about your issues regarding boundaries. When I was young, I had no sense of where others ended and I began. I had no self-esteem and this came from years of abuse. I was raped as a very young child and this set the theme for a downward spiral until one day I woke up and said, "That's it! I've had enough! I am worth something!" This will all end NOW!! This happened at the age of thirty. I wasted all of my youth in my own private hell. I needed counciling as a child but never got it. At thirty, I paid for it myself. Thirty years of CHAINS on my soul.


Things are much better now.
I was just having a moment. :oops:
I do go to counseling and it's really helping - at first it wasn't but now it's helping me see things in a different way.


Do you think that the moment you were having may be directly related to a PMS depressive episode? Because it will help lots if you know how your body can make you feel momentarily distraught. Because that kind of distress passes once your menses comes.



emlion
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02 Nov 2010, 10:39 am

RightGalaxy wrote:
emlion wrote:
RightGalaxy wrote:
Please, please dearest Emlion, go to counseling and talk about your issues regarding boundaries. When I was young, I had no sense of where others ended and I began. I had no self-esteem and this came from years of abuse. I was raped as a very young child and this set the theme for a downward spiral until one day I woke up and said, "That's it! I've had enough! I am worth something!" This will all end NOW!! This happened at the age of thirty. I wasted all of my youth in my own private hell. I needed counciling as a child but never got it. At thirty, I paid for it myself. Thirty years of CHAINS on my soul.


Things are much better now.
I was just having a moment. :oops:
I do go to counseling and it's really helping - at first it wasn't but now it's helping me see things in a different way.


Do you think that the moment you were having may be directly related to a PMS depressive episode? Because it will help lots if you know how your body can make you feel momentarily distraught. Because that kind of distress passes once your menses comes.


Nah. My boyfriend was away and I felt alone. - Too much time to think when he's not here.
But I do sometimes get PMS moments - but i know to not to pay too much attention to them.



RightGalaxy
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02 Nov 2010, 6:14 pm

emlion wrote:
RightGalaxy wrote:
emlion wrote:
RightGalaxy wrote:
Please, please dearest Emlion, go to counseling and talk about your issues regarding boundaries. When I was young, I had no sense of where others ended and I began. I had no self-esteem and this came from years of abuse. I was raped as a very young child and this set the theme for a downward spiral until one day I woke up and said, "That's it! I've had enough! I am worth something!" This will all end NOW!! This happened at the age of thirty. I wasted all of my youth in my own private hell. I needed counciling as a child but never got it. At thirty, I paid for it myself. Thirty years of CHAINS on my soul.


Things are much better now.
I was just having a moment. :oops:
I do go to counseling and it's really helping - at first it wasn't but now it's helping me see things in a different way.


Do you think that the moment you were having may be directly related to a PMS depressive episode? Because it will help lots if you know how your body can make you feel momentarily distraught. Because that kind of distress passes once your menses comes.


Nah. My boyfriend was away and I felt alone. - Too much time to think when he's not here.
But I do sometimes get PMS moments - but i know to not to pay too much attention to them.


It is not healthy to have too much attachment to a boyfriend. Work with your therapist to find strength within yourself. I'm not saying your boyfriend is bad or that he is going to leave you. But you must be strong enough for any eventuality in your life. Lovers come and go. You can learn to cultivate the kind of self-love that will keep you strong in times of transition. I don't know what your faith is but there is a radio station that is worldwide. It's called "Family Radio". They have a website called Familyradio.com You can check to see where you need to tune in to in your area. The best program on there is "Walk with the King" by Dr. Robert Cook and many more helpful life tips along with nice music. I wish you the best.



emlion
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03 Nov 2010, 6:55 am

Yeah I know I shouldn't rely on him as much but it's getting worked on.
Just taking a little while.