Page 1 of 3 [ 35 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2, 3  Next


Which of these is most romantic?
Giving roses. 3%  3%  [ 1 ]
Cancelling plans to care for your violently ill boy/girlfriend instead. 87%  87%  [ 33 ]
Giving a personally written poem. 11%  11%  [ 4 ]
Total votes : 38

Pistonhead
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 15 Jun 2010
Age: 33
Gender: Male
Posts: 4,732
Location: Bradenton, Florida

26 Oct 2010, 4:39 pm

A little less metaphor please, and large fries.


_________________
"Some ideals are worth dying for"
==tOGoWPO==


auntblabby
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 12 Feb 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 113,609
Location: the island of defective toy santas

27 Oct 2010, 12:24 am

PaleBlueDotty wrote:
sniff, i was so rotten and nasty to him, poor soul ( you know, the thing when two Aspies are in a relationship, having the best time of their lives talking about things nobody else is interested in and thinks of as nerdy and boring, but you two don't, and then one opens up about her/his emotional problems and the other one shows his heartfelt empathy by offering lots of different rational "strategies" to solve the problems, but all you actually want is a big bear-hug, but you don't know how to ask for it and he/she feels exactly what you need, but does not know how to offer it, and then you go mental at him/her and blame him/her for exactly the same problems that your Aspie-ness creates for you as well, but it is bloody 25 years ago and you both never heard about Asperger's, you know that kind of thing? ), and i hope from the bottom of my heart he found himself a lovely, appreciative wife and has a herd of kids, who crawl all over him - and i hope you will, too :D (ok, husband in your case and kids are optional).


that is so :cry:
the saddest sentence in the english language, is "it might have been."



Spyral
Sea Gull
Sea Gull

User avatar

Joined: 13 Jul 2010
Age: 49
Gender: Female
Posts: 210
Location: Norman, OK

27 Oct 2010, 2:40 am

LK wrote:
Yes, this is only halfway serious and only happened because I was bored. However, I decided to post it anyway as it might amuse someone and/or receive replies that amuse me. If someone finds they fit the description of what I want and can stand the description of me, I will be shocked, interested, but shocked 8O

My mother has been urging me to find a mate. She says I need someone to take care of me... and things. However, I disliked the few people suggested (I don't think they liked me either). This was troubling, so I studied the infallible articles on courtship and the “what wo/men want” pieces by well established journals such as Glamour and Redbook. After gathering a significant amount of obviously well-backed data, I came to a startling conclusion :idea: The reason I have had no success in finding a mate, other than the fact that I have put next to no effort in meeting anyone, is that I need and desire something closer to what is typically wanted by males, and what I have to offer is closer to what males have to offer… according to journals such as Glamour and internet articles from sources I forgot or never knew in the first place.

So, after very seriously serious consideration, I have decided to seek a man-wife or wife-man… perhaps he-wife.

I am looking for a male between the ages of 18 and 26 who can cook, clean, remember to send out birthday and congratulatory cards that will include my name in them even if I never see them, has a sense of style (not that I would be able to tell if he didn’t- it’s for the family), does strange things such as arranging fruit, gives me obvious hints about what he wants for his birthday and still acts thrilled and surprised, appreciates the rare times I actually manage to surprise him and lets me feel proud of myself about it, is bad at mechanical things and math so I can feel smart and save the day, lets me be/feel in charge until I’m about to do something stupid then gently steers me in a different direction so as not to damage my mildly inflated ego, always chooses crying over yelling, has the ability to nag yet still be cute, can be the emotional one in the relationship, laughs at my jokes, genuinely thinks I’m brilliant in the things I take pride in and forgives the fact that I’m not good at anything other than the few things I obsess over, can help me finish and organize lists with his fantastic organizational skills…

To possible mate:
I will eat the food you cook, create messes for you to clean, forget things so you can remember them and shake your head at me, never complain about the way you decorate and change our living space so long as you leave me one old chair I can take refuge on, make an effort to get you things and do things to make you feel special, jump at any chance to solve your problems with appliances and never make you feel bad about not being able to handle them yourself (I have to rescue you from technical and mechanical problems because I’m entirely useless when it comes to pretty much everything else), take charge and make tough decisions when you’re unsure yet completely fold and let you have your way whenever you really want something, try not to yell at you and feel endlessly guilty if I ever hurt your feelings, deep sigh when you nag me but eventually do what you want, follow your emotional lead, let you improve me, but, if you’re sweet and can do all the things I listed, I will simply adore and praise you.

Now, no one can complain that I’m not putting myself out there. :twisted:


+1.
Except
Quote:
never complain about the way you decorate

DO NOT move my stuff around. (and maybe about 10 years older, too)...


_________________
"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."


PaleBlueDotty
Pileated woodpecker
Pileated woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 4 Aug 2010
Age: 54
Gender: Female
Posts: 190

27 Oct 2010, 9:25 am

auntblabby wrote:
that is so :cry:
the saddest sentence in the english language, is "it might have been."


"For of all sad words of tongue or pen,
The saddest are these: 'It might have been!'"

John Greenleaf Whittier

...

Thanks for the cyber-hug, auntblabby, :heart: .
but actually i am not that sad anymore, because i found WP and i can see that people like LK do not have to go through the same awful time of not understanding what is going on in their brains and why they are always feeling like they're looking in from the outside, or trying to block the outside from coming in, 8O .
They even can see things with humour and give other Aspies the giggles with brilliant posts like the OP, :D.
Making other unaffected people understand what it's like is a different matter...



Diamond_Head
Raven
Raven

User avatar

Joined: 30 Jun 2008
Age: 40
Gender: Male
Posts: 117
Location: Kauai, Hawaii

27 Oct 2010, 5:26 pm

Quote:
I am looking for a male between the ages of 18 and 26 who can cook, clean, remember to send out birthday and congratulatory cards that will include my name in them even if I never see them, has a sense of style (not that I would be able to tell if he didn’t- it’s for the family), does strange things such as arranging fruit, gives me obvious hints about what he wants for his birthday and still acts thrilled and surprised, appreciates the rare times I actually manage to surprise him and lets me feel proud of myself about it, is bad at mechanical things and math so I can feel smart and save the day, lets me be/feel in charge until I’m about to do something stupid then gently steers me in a different direction so as not to damage my mildly inflated ego, always chooses crying over yelling, has the ability to nag yet still be cute, can be the emotional one in the relationship, laughs at my jokes, genuinely thinks I’m brilliant in the things I take pride in and forgives the fact that I’m not good at anything other than the few things I obsess over, can help me finish and organize lists with his fantastic organizational skills…


You know where would TOTALLY be a great place to look?

..... Planet Fantasy.

In the actual real world, I truly wish you the best of luck in finding the 0.000000000000000000000000000000000000001 of red-blooded men between the ages of 18 and 26 who would ever agree to your stipulations.

Given the choice, most young men in their early 20s probably would gladly volunteer to raft over Niagra Falls on a log while wrestling an ill-tempered African crocodile and simultaneously ducking a barrage of gunfire from a trained SWAT team wielding M16 assault rifles than opt for such completely dull domesticity. I know I would. That isn't meant to condemn or poke fun at any of your desired qualities in a mate - it is simply the truth about the fundamental mindset of most young men in their late teens or early / middle 20s.

That's the thing about "a male between the ages of 18 and 26". He's probably going to act like a most young men in their 20s act - wild, and with a penchant to just do whatever he wants, whenever he feels like it. Hence the common complaint from many girls that guys in their early 20s spend all their time thinking about sex / video games / partying / drinking / fighting /
what have you. Sending out birthday congratulatory cards and arranging fruit just aren't on the list of objectives.

However, I understand that your entire original post was halfway meant as a joke and to see what responses subsequently occur, so I applaud your post for its novelty and imagination. :D



Firefox_577
Butterfly
Butterfly

User avatar

Joined: 12 Jan 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 16

27 Oct 2010, 11:29 pm

Ok, I just realised something, the only people I have ever dated are tomboys in one way or another and from some of my habits its no wonder my friends thought I was gay. Thank you for this epiphany.



LK
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

User avatar

Joined: 13 Sep 2009
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Posts: 137
Location: Texas, near Houston

28 Oct 2010, 12:08 am

Pistonhead wrote:
What are the benefits for the man? I see only cons.


I am not sure. I would certainly never even consider dating someone like me, male or female! :lol:
I often think some other women like domestically helpless and emotionally clueless men because taking care of them allows them to feel superior for a time. However, I'm sure there are nicer reasons I am blind to...
As for men who would truly be interested, long term, in a woman like me, I don't think many of them exist. My post was inspired by conversations with my mother and a few other people on the subject of me finding a mate/not finding a mate and our disagreement about the likelihood of it ever happening and reasons as to why it probably will/will not happen.


_________________
While Mr. Kim... has fallen prey to the inexplicable need for human contact, let me step in and assure you that my research will go on uninterrupted, and that social relationships will continue to baffle and repulse me.
- Dr. Sheldon Cooper (TBBT)


ladyrain
Toucan
Toucan

User avatar

Joined: 21 Apr 2010
Age: 64
Gender: Female
Posts: 262
Location: UK

29 Oct 2010, 5:35 pm

Moog wrote:
I need a giant badger to snuffle at my trousers and do my ironing and hold my hand at the dentist. I'd feed him exclusively on pistachio ice cream and take him on romantic trips to D.I.Y. stores

Moog, he sounds perfect - I so need a giant badger to care about me ! :)



Moog
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 25 Feb 2010
Age: 44
Gender: Male
Posts: 17,671
Location: Untied Kingdom

29 Oct 2010, 5:37 pm

ladyrain wrote:
Moog wrote:
I need a giant badger to snuffle at my trousers and do my ironing and hold my hand at the dentist. I'd feed him exclusively on pistachio ice cream and take him on romantic trips to D.I.Y. stores

Moog, he sounds perfect - I so need a giant badger to care about me ! :)


If I find two, you can have one! :)


_________________
Not currently a moderator


Stellar
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 19 Mar 2010
Age: 31
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,249
Location: California

29 Oct 2010, 5:57 pm

My ex was like this but it drove me insane. Be careful what you wish for; you might be tip toeing on eggshells the entire relationship :lol:



ladyrain
Toucan
Toucan

User avatar

Joined: 21 Apr 2010
Age: 64
Gender: Female
Posts: 262
Location: UK

29 Oct 2010, 6:02 pm

Moog wrote:
If I find two, you can have one! :)

Thank you!
Just the concept cheered me up a great deal.



LK
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

User avatar

Joined: 13 Sep 2009
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Posts: 137
Location: Texas, near Houston

30 Oct 2010, 1:28 am

Stellar wrote:
My ex was like this but it drove me insane. Be careful what you wish for; you might be tip toeing on eggshells the entire relationship :lol:


Oh? Do you still have his number by any chance? :lol: jk, but yes, I am sure the type of person that would work for me would drive a lot of/most women crazy- most of my female acquaintances would be miserable if they had to be in a relationship with a homemaker-ish man. In fact, the very few men that are like that probably have as much trouble finding women who genuinely like them as I do finding men who like me- maybe they have even more trouble. O_o


_________________
While Mr. Kim... has fallen prey to the inexplicable need for human contact, let me step in and assure you that my research will go on uninterrupted, and that social relationships will continue to baffle and repulse me.
- Dr. Sheldon Cooper (TBBT)


Alla
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 1 Dec 2008
Age: 40
Gender: Female
Posts: 350
Location: Cork, Ireland

30 Oct 2010, 7:45 pm

My current boyfriend is one! I joke that he is the girlfriend in the relationship and I am the boyfriend. What you need is a "male lesbian". Apparently many aspie guys are male lesbians.
Boyfriend likes me to make most decisions, but if I fall ill or can't decide, he will make a decision for me. He is naturally very romantic and loves to cuddle. He can go away if I tell him I need space and does not get jealous if I talk to other guys or go abroad on my many trips for business or vacation (I usually like him to come along but sometimes like to do my own thing). He is very easy going in most things.

He has told me in the past, "I don't think you will ever find a guy like me!"



nick007
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 May 2010
Age: 41
Gender: Male
Posts: 27,059
Location: was Louisiana but now Vermont in the police state called USA

31 Oct 2010, 8:40 am

I feel like I'm a lesbian in a man's body & I kind of wish I could find a gay guy who has a woman's body; if that makes sense thou I'm not picky & I'd be happy with most anyone interested in me :? That sounds like a good thing to me LK but I turn 28 on the 16th & I don't have a lot of those homemaker type skills but I would be interested in trying to learn if I had the rite teacher


_________________
"I don't have an anger problem, I have an idiot problem!"
~King Of The Hill


"Hear all, trust nothing"
~Ferengi Rule Of Acquisition #190
https://memory-alpha.fandom.com/wiki/Ru ... cquisition


techstepgenr8tion
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 Feb 2005
Age: 44
Gender: Male
Posts: 24,150
Location: 28th Path of Tzaddi

31 Oct 2010, 10:09 am

Lol, interesting/different post. I think I did have a type of girl back in the day who did have something kinda similar for me - ultra alpha/soljahette type girls, too alpha to find a guy at their level who wasn't in jail and they lit up when they saw something innocent (or at least that seemed the part :twisted: ). For whatever reason though they intimidated me, I never went there.

Now, if I did have a wife that made so much money that I simply didn't need to work - I don't think I'd necessarily fight that idea. Clean the house a bit, look online for recipes of the variety that I would want to cook (I love to cook if I'll like the outcome), pick up golf with a local instructor and get good at the local eighteen, have a big old fashioned library wall, garden, can peaches off the trees in the back, post some of my allowance to my Etrade account, look interestingly bookish while I smoke a pipe in the observatory over a cup of earl gray - do all those man-husband things :). The only allowance I'd have to ask her - I hope she'd be alright with me teaching Kali a few nights a week... after I cook dinner of course. Also might need some space for a wall-mount Ip Man dummy downstairs...



blueroses
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 10 Feb 2007
Age: 41
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,160
Location: Lancaster, PA

31 Oct 2010, 10:29 am

Long-term relationships are a lot of work, OP. It would probably be less of a hassle to learn to cook or just hire a housekeeper. Lol.

For what it's worth, I grew up in a household where traditional gender roles were switched and that seems to be more common nowadays. My late father (who very likely had undiagnosed Asperger's Syndrome) was a professional chef who loved to cook for the family, keep the home clean, garden and make fresh floral arrangements. My Mom took care of the finances and troubleshooting with anything tech-related and, as mean as this sounds, is sort of a slob.

Personally, I take after my father and actually find domestic-type things like cooking and gardening relaxing, but don't see anything wrong with swaping roles in a relationship, as long as it works and both parties are comfortable with it.