Does dating get harder for a women after 30?



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ApsieGuy
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05 Nov 2010, 4:05 pm

Since women can't really date much younger. Does dating get harder for a women after 30.

I hear women on here complain about it soooooo



Darkmysticdream
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05 Nov 2010, 4:15 pm

Well women CAN date younger, many just CHOOSE not to. It depends on what they are looking for too. I mean I'm not yet 30, but have many female friends over 30 who do quite well for themselves finding partners. Of course most of them aren't looking to try and settle down and have kids (really biologically women shouldn't be having kids after the early 30s due to risk of medical problems for them or the baby, but I'll save that for another discussion).

On any kind of love and dating boards you will get lots of people all bitching about how hard it is to find other people, but few of them ever are doing what they need to in order to find people, namely playing a numbers game. If you contact say ten people on a dating site, you will likely only hear back from one or two, and out of those two there is only a small percentage point chance that this person will be compatible for a relationship. Then you repeat this and contact ten more people and see who responds then.

For men or women, finding a partner is a numbers game of how many people they interact with either online or in person and how willing they are to move from online communication to IRL interaction. If you're not willing to move from online communication or are just waiting for someone to contact you, then you're not going to find people, and its just much easier to b***h and whine about it on forums than actually do the work to find someone compatible.



Zsazsa
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05 Nov 2010, 4:48 pm

High schools and colleges are considered "marriage markets"...where young people of similiar ages are herded together... and finding a "mate" is likely to be considered easier. Once you graduate... and if you still haven't found that high school or college sweetheart, then it does become progressively more difficult to find a mate only because it requires more effort on your part to search out the kinds of people you are looking to meet.



ToadOfSteel
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05 Nov 2010, 6:56 pm

Zsazsa wrote:
High schools and colleges are considered "marriage markets"...where young people of similiar ages are herded together... and finding a "mate" is likely to be considered easier. Once you graduate... and if you still haven't found that high school or college sweetheart, then it does become progressively more difficult to find a mate only because it requires more effort on your part to search out the kinds of people you are looking to meet.


That's what I'm worried about. Granted I didn't make it easy for myself as I went to a tech school that's 80% guys, but still I fear that my utter inability to get anyone when I actually was surrounded by lots of girls (in high school) means that my chances now (when I know practically nobody in comparison) are even more dismal...



Kiseki
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05 Nov 2010, 6:59 pm

Well, I'm a 31 yr. old woman but I've never had a date period. I think making friends of any kind gets harder after you finish school. Everyone gets into their own lives and social networks and has little time to involve new people.



hale_bopp
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05 Nov 2010, 8:06 pm

I don't know i'm closer to 30 than I am to 20 and it's never what I would call easy.
A guy might be initially interested but gets repelled when he realises that I'm quite different/weird.

I never go out of my way to find people I assume that will stay the same.. just go about my life, if it happens it happens if it doesn't it doesn't.

I mean men seem to love teenyboppers but many older men can't be bothered with kids in terms of a long term partner. The fact that I like older men is probably a good thing.



Subotai
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06 Nov 2010, 12:30 am

Kiseki wrote:
Well, I'm a 31 yr. old woman but I've never had a date period. I think making friends of any kind gets harder after you finish school. Everyone gets into their own lives and social networks and has little time to involve new people.


So true.



nostromo
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06 Nov 2010, 1:27 am

I would say it does, I certainly know some women of that age who say it gets harder. and it does get easier as a male, all of a sudden there are more women interested in you, it's a supply and demand thing I guess, and also getting nearer to end of child rearing age.



ApsieGuy
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06 Nov 2010, 1:38 am

nostromo wrote:
I would say it does, I certainly know some women of that age who say it gets harder. and it does get easier as a male, all of a sudden there are more women interested in you, it's a supply and demand thing I guess, and also getting nearer to end of child rearing age.


So less men in there 30s than females.


I just notice some of the women in their 30s at work seem desperate....and they aren't ugly



Chronos
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06 Nov 2010, 3:40 am

ApsieGuy wrote:
nostromo wrote:
I would say it does, I certainly know some women of that age who say it gets harder. and it does get easier as a male, all of a sudden there are more women interested in you, it's a supply and demand thing I guess, and also getting nearer to end of child rearing age.


So less men in there 30s than females.


I just notice some of the women in their 30s at work seem desperate....and they aren't ugly


I maintain that if they were actually desperate, they would take any guy, and thus would have one. That they don't implies they really have some man repelling issues or still have standards they are not willing to sacrifice.

To answer your original question, it is addressed fairly well here:
http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/the-c ... der-woman/

I think a man's dating potential declines less with age. As my great grandmother used to say, "Men become distinguished, women get old".



Adam82
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06 Nov 2010, 4:15 am

Kiseki wrote:
Well, I'm a 31 yr. old woman but I've never had a date period. I think making friends of any kind gets harder after you finish school. Everyone gets into their own lives and social networks and has little time to involve new people.


This is true. As people get older and pair off, they have their own lives, their own families, to worry about. Your social circle shrinks. Some of us are sadly left behind. I never had any female interest at school or uni, so its next to impossible now. Every woman at my work is taken.



bee33
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06 Nov 2010, 6:27 am

I think one thing to keep in mind is that you are only looking for one person. So statistics are not necessarily relevant, and neither are the number of people you come across in your daily life. Sure, being around a lot of people increases your chances of meeting the one person that is right for you, but most of the talk about being in a marketplace with many possible mates is only important to those who want a lot of casual hookups.



Adam82
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06 Nov 2010, 6:58 am

bee33 wrote:
I think one thing to keep in mind is that you are only looking for one person. So statistics are not necessarily relevant, and neither are the number of people you come across in your daily life. Sure, being around a lot of people increases your chances of meeting the one person that is right for you, but most of the talk about being in a marketplace with many possible mates is only important to those who want a lot of casual hookups.


True. I'm only looking for that one special person, so the marketplace and statistics don't matter to me much.



hyperlexian
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06 Nov 2010, 11:58 am

ApsieGuy wrote:
nostromo wrote:
I would say it does, I certainly know some women of that age who say it gets harder. and it does get easier as a male, all of a sudden there are more women interested in you, it's a supply and demand thing I guess, and also getting nearer to end of child rearing age.


So less men in there 30s than females.


I just notice some of the women in their 30s at work seem desperate....and they aren't ugly

there can't be less men than women in their 30s, or the men would have to be mostly gay or dead. the average age of men and women at first marriage is only a year or two apart in most countries, so the number of single people at any given age must be close to equal.

i know a couple of single men of that age. one is a divorced single dad who wants a mom for his kids. he has no trouble finding women to fit this situation, and he is working on baby mommy #3. the other man is a confirmed bachelor who would rather stay single than change anything about his life and routines (sound aspie to anyone?). he has had 5 offers from women (1 sexual offer, 4 dates) in the last year, but he didn't pursue any of them very far.

i also know some single women in their late 20s to late 30s. a couple of them are outright desperate to find love (they were 2 of the women who dated the confirmed bachelor, above), and it pushes people away (friends and coworkers too, because they complain about being single all of the time). the other women were less emotional, but they never attained the level of "c'est la vie" of the confirmed bachelor.

i think that sometimes people are seeking other never-married partners, and above age 30 that is increasingy unlikely.


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ApsieGuy
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06 Nov 2010, 12:20 pm

hyperlexian wrote:
ApsieGuy wrote:
nostromo wrote:
I would say it does, I certainly know some women of that age who say it gets harder. and it does get easier as a male, all of a sudden there are more women interested in you, it's a supply and demand thing I guess, and also getting nearer to end of child rearing age.


So less men in there 30s than females.


I just notice some of the women in their 30s at work seem desperate....and they aren't ugly

there can't be less men than women in their 30s, or the men would have to be mostly gay or dead. the average age of men and women at first marriage is only a year or two apart in most countries, so the number of single people at any given age must be close to equal.

i know a couple of single men of that age. one is a divorced single dad who wants a mom for his kids. he has no trouble finding women to fit this situation, and he is working on baby mommy #3. the other man is a confirmed bachelor who would rather stay single than change anything about his life and routines (sound aspie to anyone?). he has had 5 offers from women (1 sexual offer, 4 dates) in the last year, but he didn't pursue any of them very far.

i also know some single women in their late 20s to late 30s. a couple of them are outright desperate to find love (they were 2 of the women who dated the confirmed bachelor, above), and it pushes people away (friends and coworkers too, because they complain about being single all of the time). the other women were less emotional, but they never attained the level of "c'est la vie" of the confirmed bachelor.

i think that sometimes people are seeking other never-married partners, and above age 30 that is increasingy unlikely.



I would sooo dig some chick who was married but divorced.........................


I dunno, as long as she doesn't expect any kids out of my autistic ass :cry:



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