Giving off vibes
Have you tried looking back? You don't have to make eye contact, but if you notice someone staring at you, take stock of them. Consider their hair, their clothes, their shoes. Make a mental note of the ravioli stain on their belly, the visible bra strap, the poser tattoo that they probably regret.
Maybe they'll stop staring, maybe they won't, but you don't have to be the passive recipient of their curiousity.
Maybe they'll stop staring, maybe they won't, but you don't have to be the passive recipient of their curiousity.
That is the greatest advice I've read in a while.
Maybe they'll stop staring, maybe they won't, but you don't have to be the passive recipient of their curiousity.
That is the greatest advice I've read in a while.
Aw, shucks.
I still hate the idea of people thinking I'm a weirdo, even when I go out looking presentable and normal. In this day and age, it seems to be the human culture to have to look normal, and if you break the ''rules'' of our culture you are interpreted as stupid, ret*d, freak, geek, mug, weird, idiot, abnormal, antisocial. Well, it is in this country anyway. And I don't want to go around looking different. I just don't. Some people don't care, but I do, and nobody can lecture me to stop caring what other people think because it's as hard as telling a smoker to stop smoking tomorrow.
I just wish humans didn't judge eachother so much. It's so intimidating to know that everyone is ''laughing'' at you when you're not even doing a single thing to stand out. Personally, I don't think I even send out vibes because surely you've got to do something to give off a vibe. If I stood there fiddling with my fingers or flapping my hands or shaking my head, then I will understand why people glare and look, and I wouldn't worry so much. But I'll really like to know what they are actually staring at, then I won't worry about it so much, because I could work on it more. It's like they're trying to figure out something, and I'm starting to get annoyed because why is everyone interested in a stupid girl all the time? I have my own problems, I don't go around staring at other people if they give off a few vibes. Just because I may wave an Aspie flag, doesn't mean people have to stare, and it doesn't mean I necessarily look weird or different. When they stare at me I feel like jumping back and yelling, ''leave me alone!'' They're emotionally abusing me.
I'm one of those people who like a reason for everything. If something happens without a reason, I get angry until I hear a reason. I'm just that sort of person.
_________________
Female
Could they be staring at you more then usual because of that?
Well - it's mostly other women who stare at me. Men either smile at me, or just don't look at me at all - which is what I feel comfortable with. But when women walk by me it's as though their eye gets drawn to me, as though I'm a flashing beacon or something. And eye contact is very strong with me - I can always tell if somebody is looking right at my face when I walk by, because I see their glare in the corner of my eye. If they're looking past me, I can tell they are looking past me and I feel relaxed, but when I can feel them literally looking at my eyes, something makes me have to look at them too, and I meet their eyes. I'm always looking ahead, I never even look at people first, but when I feel they are looking at me, I then look at them. It's so intimidating, and I won't rest until I've got to the bottom of why they're looking at me. If I know what causes them to glare, then I can approach the matter and sort it out.
_________________
Female
jojobean
Veteran
Joined: 12 Aug 2009
Age: 46
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,341
Location: In Georgia sipping a virgin pina' colada while the rest of the world is drunk
this may sound crazy, but imgagine a bubble around you in which your "weird" vibes do not go past and this bubble also protects you...focus on the bubble while you are out. This will in a way help you feel more protected, and then people will not sense your fear and then they will not be drawn to look at you.
Because you are unsure and afriad, you are putting out body movments and energy that draw people to look at you because fear causes fear in others, and sometimes it draws social preditors as well.
The bubble thing, you will have to practice a few times to get it right, but dont think it is hocus pocus cuz it tricks your mind into shutting off the vibes. Also try carrying a trinket and imagine it giving you power and confidence...this will help also.
The mind is very powerful and its ability when it comes to vibes and auras and etc....have barely been understood, but it is real.
best wishes,
Jojo
_________________
All art is a kind of confession, more or less oblique. All artists, if they are to survive, are forced, at last, to tell the whole story; to vomit the anguish up.
-James Baldwin
Because you are unsure and afriad, you are putting out body movments and energy that draw people to look at you because fear causes fear in others, and sometimes it draws social preditors as well.
The bubble thing, you will have to practice a few times to get it right, but dont think it is hocus pocus cuz it tricks your mind into shutting off the vibes. Also try carrying a trinket and imagine it giving you power and confidence...this will help also.
The mind is very powerful and its ability when it comes to vibes and auras and etc....have barely been understood, but it is real.
best wishes,
Jojo
That is a very good idea. I will try that. Thanks Jojobean
_________________
Female
jojobean
Veteran
Joined: 12 Aug 2009
Age: 46
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,341
Location: In Georgia sipping a virgin pina' colada while the rest of the world is drunk
Because you are unsure and afriad, you are putting out body movments and energy that draw people to look at you because fear causes fear in others, and sometimes it draws social preditors as well.
The bubble thing, you will have to practice a few times to get it right, but dont think it is hocus pocus cuz it tricks your mind into shutting off the vibes. Also try carrying a trinket and imagine it giving you power and confidence...this will help also.
The mind is very powerful and its ability when it comes to vibes and auras and etc....have barely been understood, but it is real.
best wishes,
Jojo
That is a very good idea. I will try that. Thanks Jojobean
your welcome...it worked for me for a similar problem
_________________
All art is a kind of confession, more or less oblique. All artists, if they are to survive, are forced, at last, to tell the whole story; to vomit the anguish up.
-James Baldwin
There was a time when I think I was giving off vibes a lot and being glared at, and harshly looked at a lot, in the street - hardly ever now. The sort of looks that give off a "You are a pervert" message, at least that's my concern, my situation being slightly different in that I'm a guy. At that time though, I'd kind of fooled myself into thinking I could connect in some way with females in the street, or on buses etc., by making eye contact, smiling etc. just because a few good experiences with IOI's (indicators of interest, i.e. flirting by eye contact, facial gestures etc.) mainly at Sainsbury's had made me confident in doing so (my obsession with Sainsbury's at the time is another story). Of course, this made some females react defensively. Therefore if I was ever glared at by a female, it was my own fault, and I stopped trying to 'connect' in this way.
So if such looks and glares happen to me nowadays, and they happen very very rarely now, it's because they're unprovoked by myself. I do still have fears about this sort of thing happening when I'm out and about, of the sort of looks that give out a "You are a pervert" message, but these fears are not exactly debilitating. Ingrained in my subconscious mind is a certain look of female, where if I see a female who looks like this then for some reason I have a fear they will look at me the wrong way. I find it hard to describe this look but it's there in my subconscious (not rational) mind. Yet when passing such a female in the street etc., I never get these types of looks. I guess people don't think I look peculiar enough, to look at me in this way.
I've cut my hair and now it looks neater, and I haven't got so many people looking at me. Maybe they didn't like my hair - I don't know why, because it's none of their business, and they don't know me, and everybody has their own hairstyles. (If only NTs realised how stupid they really are!)
But I feel that people are teasing me all the time. Like when I got off the bus today, I had a really busy road to cross, and I stood there waiting for ages. Then one side of the road cleared, and there were a few cars coming on that side from a distance, but they were a long way off yet, and there was just one car what came zooming up on the other side, so I knew once he's gone past I will be able to cross. But this immature man in this car deliberately slowed down a bit (but he wasn't stopping to let me cross), and I could tell he was doing it on purpose, just to make me wait for longer then have to wait even longer after that because of the cars catching up on the other side. But I did finally manage to cross, and after I crossed, I wondered if he would have done that to anyone else, or just me, simply because I give off these ''I'm an idiot - laugh at me'' vibes. If so, why do they pick on random people in the street who give off a few vibes? Why weren't he just concentrating on the road, instead of doing all he can to irritate a silly idiot who's trying to cross the road. And how did he notice my vibes in my face if he's driving in a car?
It makes me feel like putting an end to my life, because I simply can't go on in a world of people who can't grow up and can't stop interfering with a girl who gives off a few vibes. It's annoying because I am fed up with being treated like s**t. People think they can tease me and speak to me like s**t as much as they like, and if they get a retaliation from me, they don't like it.
It's really not a good thing when you know you go around looking like an idiot, no matter how hard you try not to. Then if I tried not to care, I know I will sink even lower.
An Aspie simply can't win in a NT world.
_________________
Female
Fu-Manchu
Hummingbird
Joined: 2 Jan 2011
Age: 65
Gender: Male
Posts: 22
Location: a little west of Boston