LD schools

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I had been poking around this forum for about two to three weeks. Just decided to post today after reading this long post about a severely troubled individual on this forum. It moved me to break the ice and post some info regarding my newly dx'ed son, though definitely not as troubled as this one individual I read about. I have had my share of troubles and I really can sympathize with how many of you feel. It's never easy to deal with an LD child. Never!

I posted about LD schools in a message elsewhere, but I wanted to post it as a subject. It is something I am trying to deal with right now.

My ds ("diagnosed son" or "student", for those who don't know - school uses it in IEPs) attends a school for learning disabled students. I just call it an LD school for short.

The concern is to me quite a problem. My son wants to go to college. It is a dream he has always had. His academic work is good, at times nearly exceptional. His social skills lack but are much better than they used to be. School says he has made progress in group situations. School says he will converse with people and ask for help on occasion. Yet school still wants to keep him over 18. School says his social skills are still not up to par. Up to par with what?

Is it the nature of LD schools to keep students over 18? This school habitually keeps its students until 21. I know many there need that sort of arrangement. Many are much lower functioning, but my ds is not.

I feel I am getting a runaround here. This school does not have college prep type work. Even if they order this prep work, which I was told they can do, the teachers there won't be able to do much. They are not equipped for this. School tells me otherwise, but I get a feeling my ds will be all alone when it comes to algebra and things. I know algebra is required for college prep. I also know my ds has trouble with some math skills. Even so, I despise my son in high school until 21. I feel it will hold him back in life. So does my husband.

The purpose of that was to keep students who were having difficulties and behind academically from being tossed out of school at 18 like regular students even though they were not as well prepared. Out state allows for students to stay even longer to level the playing field as they say. I do not know for sure what would be the best thing for your son as he is already 17 (was it). What grade is he in technically and more importantly does he have the credits to graduate with the other kids. If he can academically handle college than I guess it would be your call. However, have you talked to anyone about transitioning him or mainstreaming him. The placement setting does not have to be one or the other - mainstreamed or segregated. Is there any reason he could not be in a regular class for certain subjects (like algebra) and then a resource room or something. Or - if they have to "order in" college prep work and the teacher would not be able to offer as much attention than may need additional assistance in the classroom.

i tihnk alot depends on your son's level of functioning, and the school he's in....my son is in a therapeutic school, and their emphasis is on getting the student back to their home district~ they don't push the students, and some end up graduating from there in 12th grade. they help students who are ready to graduate apply to colleges and/or get jobs.

how much do you trust the school he's in ? i mean, if you are uncertain about their assessment of your son can you get a "second opinion" ?

I know I am not going to have a popular perspective in this post but I think it is needed here.

I have to have you thing about this in an objective way first. Based on the self-care issues you have posted previously, do you honestly think that you son is ready for college life socially (there is more to college than academics)? Do you think a roomate in a dorm will put up with his behavior? How will he manage his meal plans, especially if they give choices? Will he be able to navigate the college assistance scene without your help at first?

This all boils down to one question, objectively evaluate your son and ask if he is truely ready for college? If I base it on your previous post and from what I know, then I would honestly have to answer no.

I graduated high school one year later than my age-normalized peers (I was 18 going on 19, this was in 1993 when AS was not considered a diagnosis yet). Toward the end of high school, I knew I was not ready for college. I brought the issue up with the guidence counsler who told me that under no uncertain terms that I was allowed to spend more than 4 years at that school (it was an college prep honors school and I did not have an IEP). I therefore graduated HS with my peers and then was working part-time at a local supermarket. My mother was upset that I did not start college right away that fall but did not force the issue because I was paying rent and doing something other than sitting home all day. In January of 1994, I finally did start college. I ended up spending 6 years for a 4 year degree but I do not think that has hurt me at all and may have helped that I was emotionally as well as academically ready for work when I graduated college.

We are so insistant on following the so called "right path" that we are blind to the fact that the right path does not work for everyone. There is no right age for graduating high school or college. There is no right age for anything. I think the school sees this too and is trying to convince you now that your son may not be ready for post-secondary work.

With that said, here is a possible solution. Once your son reaches 18, allow him to continue to attend the LD school but also have a set up where he takes one college course at a local community college. The cost is about $500/course and the state may reimburse you depending on what programs they have. Even if the course is something like basic algebra, it will allow you and your son to see what the college had to offer as far as opportunities and services and your son may realize just where his skills are lacking which would then give him goals to meet at the LD School.

If you force your son into full-time college too early, he may resent it and drop out (or worse) and then you have a real problem on your hands.

One thing I forgot, you should try to get your sons viewpoints on this too (he should already have been taking part in the IEP meetings and if not, you should force the school to let him take part). He may realize that he is not ready either and is willing to continue at the LD school beyond 18.

I hope this helps