Need your reassurance to ask girl out

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Should I got for it?
Yes 69%  69%  [ 9 ]
No 31%  31%  [ 4 ]
Total votes : 13

Asp-Z
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17 Dec 2010, 6:30 pm

norwegianman1972 wrote:
It might of course vary from woman to woman, but generally it is my impression that most women would consider a guy doing that a wuss. But maybe aspie women are different? I don`t know.


A lot of girls actually think that kind of thing is romantic.



Seanmw
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17 Dec 2010, 6:32 pm

Arman_Khodaei wrote:
Some girls that work at such places are just nice that way. What you have described sounds like girls I've met in the past who have worked in coffee shops or other such places. I thought they were into me, but found out otherwise. But, you never know. Perhaps, she is into you. It is hard to tell you. I would ask her if she would like to have coffee sometime to get to know you or something. Or, you can try the note. I'm not very sure. This is also hard for me.


this brings up a good point.
being friendly & agreeable towards the customer is typically part of the job.
She might not see what she's doing the same way you do.
A compliment here and there is hardly an indicator of genuine interest, especially if she works in such a job.

I think the note is a good idea though just in case.
It's not too assertive and gives her some time to think on it.
Where on the other hand, if you say it verbally, she may feel like she is being put on the spot, or pressured, and may react negatively just because it's put her off-balance and as a reflex reaction to indecision.


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conan
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17 Dec 2010, 7:35 pm

probably best to talk to her first. be friendly but don't expect a full conversation as she is working. then another time ask her out. in my mind this is the best option. maybe more difficult but i think it is the most likely to interest her



Chronos
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17 Dec 2010, 9:24 pm

Oh yes, I should have said. Smiling and making eye contact are just how women socialize. It isn't a good indication of whether they like you or not. However that being said, a woman who likes you might also try to avoid you much the same as a woman who is afraid you like her and doesn't like you.

So you see, the only sure way to find out if a woman likes you is to ask her out.



JoeBloggs
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18 Dec 2010, 9:44 am

I've been in the shop the last few days with the intention of asking her out but she's not been working.

Would be just my luck if she's moved on while I dither back and forth.

She's not in the roll of common women and I've got a feeling she'll be more comfortable with a less forward approach -- and think she'll find it romantic.

Going to try to use a combination of the two; spark a conversation and then pass her the note as I'm leaving.

Yes, she could just be being nice as I'm a customer. But I'm trying hard to train myself to notice body-language and the signs so to speak.

She's given me a number of social cues that's she's interested which I failed to pick up on at the time.

A neurotypical friend was with me in the shop once and he picked up on one of these cues and let me know.

Sorry about the stream-of-consciousness this thread has become -- screaming out to tell somebody -- so thanks for your support. There's a great community feel about this website.



conan
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18 Dec 2010, 12:29 pm

that sounds awesome. good luck!



norwegianman1972
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18 Dec 2010, 3:06 pm

That time I mentioned about ten years ago, I was almost CERTAIN she was interested. I thought she was eye-flirting. This was a girl I knew, having met her through common friends. Actually she seemed quite surprised and said she hadn`t even understood I was interested. Anyway, even hough she didn`t share my feeling she told it in a very kind way and afterwards I was first and foremost glad I had had the courage to tell her.