Letting a superficial guy go

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Miyah
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29 Dec 2010, 9:13 pm

I have known a man with high-functioning Autism for more than 6 years and we even considered a possibility for dating material for a good 4 years. However, he is extremely picky and rigid along with fickle. So, he suddenly dropped me like a hot potato and didn't tell me what I did wrong and suddenly ignored and avoided me because I was getting on his nerves. He also has this thing in that he will only talk to me if I would talk about super intelligent subjects that he approves of. He has also chosen another close friend over me for face-to-face interactions because she is more calm than I am. He also seems to make me feel bad for talking about certain subjects such as living on my own. He also often seems to play Jekyll and Hyde with me where he will seem like he's my friend on week and my enemy the next.

Anyway, he currently lives with a roommate with a brain injury who isn't doing anything for himself and has the tendency to rip into other people's backs including himself. The man with Autism has a load of problems including social skills and other independent living skill deficits. So this roommate pries upon him by talking about everything wrong with him and has often called him a "Screw-up," or "Whack job." I had told him to stop talking that way around me but he insists that how is talks is acceptable. And so long story short, I attempted to explain the situation to the guy who has been miserable around me.

His response to me was that he would be willing to sit down and talk to him and myself involved yet he didn't want to be my friend outside of this chatroom after this meeting. In response, I decided to leave that chatroom and never speak to this guy again because of the way he acted around me. However, he had evidently told others for me that he really wanted to be my friend but was always worried about hurting me. However, I took that as an insult and that if he felt that strong about it, he should see me instead about the issues.

How should I let him go without trying to spend my time crying about it?



Last edited by Miyah on 29 Dec 2010, 10:30 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Kilroy
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29 Dec 2010, 9:16 pm

be rid of him, someone like that will only get worse in time, it will do you no good to be stressed around someone like that
they never change



Miyah
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29 Dec 2010, 10:27 pm

I have been avoiding him for the last 4 days and I have to admit that I have felt this sense of freedom and I realize that I am just was smart and creative as he is and in my own way too. However, when I was with him, I always felt like I couldn't do anything for myself and I often felt stupid.

He was also the type who couldn't seem to make up his mind about me and it was always, he loves me one week and hated me the next. He had been doing this behavior towards me within the last 4 years and it got worse during New Year's Eve of 2008 at 4:00 AM when he decided that I wasn't good enough to be his girl and decided to string me along that if I just tried hard enough, he could ask me out. It was never about me and always seemed to be about him. I felt like I had to push and push to do whatever I could to feel loved because I was very lonely. I never could figure this guy out and I probably never will either.

If he is also going to be bitter over something that I did 4 years ago when I was by accidentally rude to him or let alone punish me for not being smart enough, then we surely wouldn't last through out all ages.



Kilroy
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29 Dec 2010, 10:33 pm

this will only get worse, it is not worth it at all if he makes you feel bad about yourself
that is not a friendship, trust me



hale_bopp
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29 Dec 2010, 11:04 pm

Sounds like an a***hole and a loser. He's going to be a very lonely man. You did the right thing not going back to the chat.. you will realise when you see how happy you are without that in your life. I've left forums before for similar reasons.

If you're only good enough for him sometimes, he's not good enough for you. Please Please Please never talk to him again



Wombat
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31 Dec 2010, 4:41 am

Lets get down to basics here.

What does a woman really want?
She wants a good and kind and strong man who will marry her and give her children and who will support them as they grow up and still cherish her as she grows old.

What does a man really want? He wants a woman who will love and support him, keep his house and comfort him and be loyal to him when the world slaps him in the face and cherish him as he grows old.

Is that so difficult to understand?