How did you or your aspie child survive high school

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ncnicksmom
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27 Jan 2011, 7:06 pm

My son is in high school & recently diagnosed with Aspergers. Our school evidently not equiped to assist any kid who is not the "norm" or insanely medicated. He is miserable socially. I am out of suggestions. He wants to quit.



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27 Jan 2011, 7:09 pm

I left.



CinnamonGirl
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27 Jan 2011, 7:20 pm

I skipped a lot of school throughout my life. I went to three different high schools because I switched after a year of hell to another year of hell at another school before I finally switched to a school that 'specialized' in the performing arts and gifted programs...everyone there was a 'geek' or 'nerd', so I was able to blend in somewhat. I also learned in the first few years that I needed to put a lid on my self expression (very strange fashion sense, salty language and tattoos/piercings) and try to appear more normal so that I didn't attract any more negative attention and get beat up more. High school was without a doubt a very traumatizing time for me, and I am SO glad that I never have to go back there.



ooOoOoOAnaOoOoOoo
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27 Jan 2011, 7:25 pm

ncnicksmom wrote:
My son is in high school & recently diagnosed with Aspergers. Our school evidently not equiped to assist any kid who is not the "norm" or insanely medicated. He is miserable socially. I am out of suggestions. He wants to quit.

If you want him to stay, you have to make sure he is safe at the school and his self esteem isn't taking a hit on a daily basis. Try to find ways to make school a positive event in his life.
The reason I left high school was because it was such a terrible time, I was hopelessly behind and I found more accepting people elsewhere, so I went to be with them.
You can get in touch with the high school's principal and make a plan of some kind. See what the principal suggests. Go in with the attitude you want the school to work with you so your child can succeed.
If he insists on quitting, talk about the GED test and if he can pass it asap, or if he can study and then pass it asap. He will need to get one quickly.



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27 Jan 2011, 7:38 pm

I smoked a lot of pot, and withdrew into my mind.


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the_curmudge
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27 Jan 2011, 7:40 pm

I went into high school with a good foundation because I actually enjoyed junior high. I had been a little more mature than the average student, so I felt on top of things. This was totally reversed in high school as I fell behind both physically and socially and I was soon miserable. However, quitting was NOT an option, so I had no choice but put one foot before the other and continue. I expected things would improve in college and while they didn't as much as I'd hoped, it was a LOT more interesting.



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27 Jan 2011, 7:41 pm

I avoided my regular peers so I could get my work done and stayed home on the weekends. I didn't like my time, my peers or anything that had to do with those two things.


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27 Jan 2011, 7:48 pm

I focused mostly on studying and reading. That kept me sane.

For me, the biggest improvement came when I started to understand that I had to care about how other people perceived me. I had to stop some of my more annoying habits, because they really turned people off. I had to pay some attention to things that other people were interested in, no matter how boring they were to me. I learned that sometimes, the advice that you get is just plain wrong.



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27 Jan 2011, 7:50 pm

I made every effort to not draw attention to myself. I would eat outside in -20C rather then sit in the cafeteria. My high school experience up to grade 11 was mostly isolated to the school library. I was a total ghost, many people from my graduating class don't even recognize me



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27 Jan 2011, 7:50 pm

This is not a question that lends itself well to a post-length answer. To put it simply, ensure proper motivation, supply plenty of emotional outlet and follow his lead.



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27 Jan 2011, 7:56 pm

Homeschool. Unschool. Private school. Essentially there is no way to make it through public school, but plenty of ways to survive those years.


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emjay89
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27 Jan 2011, 7:58 pm

I didnt.

I pretty much spent high school on my own (all my friends were from other high schools).
The only way i kept my sanity was that i played basketball for the school (and got team co-captain) for 3 years.



eudaimonia
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27 Jan 2011, 8:05 pm

I buried myself in studying, took as many advanced classes as were available, joined the yearbook team, sang in choir and worked as a teacher's assistant, grading papers and making copies for my science teacher. I spent half my time in the computer lab or library instead of in class and still graduated with a 4.0 GPA. If your son is like most intelligent folks, he will find the school work degrading and far too simply. There are other smart, bored folks in high school, it's just a matter of sharing their interests.

In the social realm, when I was a freshman I made a point to make friends with the new kids and to be cheerful around everyone even if they gossiped about me. When I was a senior, all the freshmen loved me because I didn't hate them or treat them like lesser humans. I drifted between social groups, but usually if I was required to be around people outside of class or lunch break, there was a book in front of my face.



vileseagulls
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27 Jan 2011, 9:12 pm

Yensid wrote:
I focused mostly on studying and reading. That kept me sane.


Me too. I spent most lunchtimes in the library until I found a group of friends who did the same. And I spent my evenings and weekends making friends on the Internet - they understood me better than anyone at school. That taught me a lot of social confidence actually.



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27 Jan 2011, 9:14 pm

I'm not sure how I survived, but I am sure it did me more harm than good. The educational system is designed to turn out standardised humans, and those of us who don't fit the standard model description are doomed. In my opinion, requiring anyone with an ASD to attend school is a violation of their basic human rights. It is the equivalent of requiring black people to attend an institution where they are doused in bleach to make their skin whiter, only this is done to us on the inside, not the outside.

Does that sound bitter? One of the teachers at my high school went on to become the superintendent of the school system where Phoebe Prince died. And even before I knew who he was, the tired old butt covering bull coming out in the news was all too familiar to me. I wasn't really surprised when I read his name, and then checked his picture just to be sure it was the same guy.

Your son's school sounds a lot like mine. Sue them, or get him out of there.


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27 Jan 2011, 9:17 pm

I survived with Independent study.