How did you or your aspie child survive high school
Public school primarily introduces people to others with whom they would never otherwise willingly associate. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't.
I suppose people also learn 'academic' and 'home ec'-type things at school, and I did learn a few, but I also found much of it boring after the 5th grade or so (a lot of things basically being repeated over and over).
High school was where things really started to seem dull to me. I didn't associate much with anyone and no one associated much with me. I was in the computer club but it was about 10 people and we didn't do much. I was only really bullied in my sophomore year, and while it seemed horrible at the time, in hindsight nothing much really happened. I had simply never been in those sorts of situations before. Generally, I didn't react, and the bullies gave up, or took up torturing cats, or died in drunk driving accidents, or flew into the emptiest parts of space on reverse meteors.
The 'learning to socialize' aspect of public school is only useful if you plan to socialize a lot (endless party-goer, sex hound, politician, perhaps a high-level business manager). School does teach useful things, especially in the earlier years, and some schools do offer more specialized programs that work well if the student is interested in one of them.
If you had the desire and the time, you could easily homeschool and your child would learn all they need to know for a GED-type exam in much less time. They might not walk/talk/etc in a 'generic'/'conformist' type way but that isn't a bad thing, it's simply different.
Happy everything
I used to miss about half of the days per week in high school once the taunting started. (that definitely affected my grades BTW). I tried my best to ignore everyone and keep my head down to survive. Eventually people who used to be friendly (but I no longer considered them friends as they didn't help when I broke down) would have to call my name repeatedly and then tap me on the shoulder just to get me to answer them. This is also because somewhere along the way my name started being used as an insult so if I answered to my own name people would laugh like I'd made a joke. Once I asked "what's so funny?" and got back "you". I still cringe when I hear my full name said at once.
In my last year I was able to get on work study (in a quiet clerical capacity away from other people) so I only had to go to school half days. My first class was still extremely overwhelming though (the teacher was obsessed with those group projects and it was an academic class with rich, well dressed teens) so I inadvertently started self medicating and developed disordered eating. I would say in my last year I was basically invisible most of the time (which is what I wanted by that point).
I wanted to switch schools but due to a technicality I was only allowed in that district not the other one even though I physically lived closer to the better school.
I didn't drop out as I'd been one of the top students in grade school and couldn't fathom someone with intelligence being forced out of school by idiots.
I remember hearing a lot that school is supposed to teach you how to socialize and get along with other people. I actually have relatives that think home schooling is bad because then the kid doesn't get to socialize enough.
All school ever taught me about socializing is that people are mean and I need to stay away from them.
I wish I could have been home schooled.
All school ever taught me about socializing is that people are mean and I need to stay away from them.
I wish I could have been home schooled.
I'd have to pick public school myself, because imagining home schooling with my 'parents' (or whoever they are) is beyond what I want to try to imagine..
Personally, I discovered that people were far different than I thought they were. People will gladly sit by while someone is clearly being continually bullied, even teachers.. then the teachers somehow expect me to think of them as my friend..? Somehow I can't blame the students much, they're supposed to be imitating the adults, right? Or else they get suspended, etc. etc.
Considering my situation I suppose public schooling was the best way for me to learn .. stuff. Still, I wonder if having someone hold a blowtorch up to my head is particularly useful in the grand scheme of things
SO, in conclusion, depending on your parent(s)/teaching entities, homeschooling could quite possibly be far better than public schooling. And you can still socialize with other people, regardless.. there's no law against homeschoolers mixing with anyone else
Map12
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: 20 Dec 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 40
Location: Hiding in one of my hoodies(my own little world)
I went to a school for kids with behavior problems. The people there were very understanding. They even let me wear my hoodies in class which made things easier.
I dread to think what would have happen if I had gone to a regular school.
_________________
I have sensory issues. I only wear Hoodies.
I have Social Anxiety. So I always wear my hoodie with the hood up. The hood makes me feel safe like I'm in my own little world.
I own over 80 different hoodies.
I'm a girl
Played truant a lot, hardly ever did my homework (Im a serial procrastinator unfortunately), drifted from friend to friend until they got sick of me. At times when I was between friends I spent my breaks either in the library, in the art labs or hiding in the toilets. Still managed to pass with more GCSEs than a lot of the people in my year, much to the annoyance of my teachers who I suspect were hoping to use me as an example of what happens when you dont put the work in. Showed them
I wasnt diagnosed till my 20s though, I wish I could go back to secondary school now, armed with a little more knowledge about myself and what I want and actually make an effort
I avoided people as much as possible.
I visited a classmate's house four times in four years. Three times for class assignments (no choice there), and once when two well-meaning acquaintances almost literally dug me out of my home and into theirs to try to make me socialize with them. Heh.
These were not really upsetting experiences. I simply did not know how to relate to my neurotypical peers and found the whole situation quite amusing as I tried to understand their chit-chat and petty drama.
Once I began university, I discovered people more like myself and began "hanging out" more often as my social skills improved.
Last edited by NiMing on 04 Jan 2012, 9:22 pm, edited 2 times in total.
Music got me though High School mostly, honestly, I got easier as the years went on. I vivdiy remember listening to "We gonna make it" by Jadakiss and sometimes songs from awesome Rocky movies over the years to give me the motivation to go out in the harsh world and do what needs to be done.
The loaner issue was the biggest thing to tackle in HS, Gym and the actual school work isn't far behind.
Also, my special interests.
It's actually kind of funny that the only four things I actually learned back in High School was...
1. How to fight and win.
2. Where to get good, black tar heroin. (Not that brown powdery s**t)
3. How to make black tar heroin injectable.
4. Which veins to use so people don't see the holes.
Some real good life skills I learned in those 4 years.
Phonic
Veteran
Joined: 3 Apr 2011
Age: 31
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,329
Location: The graveyard of discarded toy soldiers.
I dropped out of high school after a period of school refusal, mostly over stress - I could not cope in a school anymore, I was profoundly unhappy in this environment.
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'not only has he hacked his intellect away from his feelings, but he has smashed his feelings and his capacity for judgment into smithereens'.
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