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Meophist
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28 Jan 2011, 8:18 pm

Hello.

I have found my sexual orientation changing rather rapidly in the past few months and I've been wondering if anybody else has experienced something similar.

Uh... It's been weird.



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28 Jan 2011, 9:07 pm

My sexual orientation naturally leans toward other men, but I tried to force myself to like women during my preteen years due to anxiety from my budding same-sex attractions.

Do you think you could give more detail as to your "changing" sexual orientation? I don't believe that people can just change their natural sexual inclinations so quickly.


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Meophist
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28 Jan 2011, 9:35 pm

Well, it's not quite easy to explain but it's not a voluntary change. My orientation is just changing on its own and I have no control over it(although I wish I did).

I've been heterosexual for most of life, it's been that way until a few months ago when I realised that I can think of other guys sexually in a positive manner. Previous to this time, I found the idea of sexually interacting with other males rather repulsive, but at starting from that time, I found the idea of sex with both sexes appealing.

Starting from the beginning of this year, my orientation has changed again. And since then, it has changed five more times. Every time my orientation changes, what I find sexually appealing, or what I want to have sex with, changes, as well as what I find to be sexually repulsive changes as well.

That's how it's been to put it simply.



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29 Jan 2011, 4:28 am

Meophist wrote:
I've been heterosexual for most of life, it's been that way until a few months ago when I realised that I can think of other guys sexually in a positive manner. Previous to this time, I found the idea of sexually interacting with other males rather repulsive, but at starting from that time, I found the idea of sex with both sexes appealing.


If you realized this, then you must have always subconsciously felt this way, regardless of whether or not you chose to acknowledge it. There's a difference between realizing something that's always existed, and feeling an entirely new feeling altogether.

Either that, or it could be that some experiences in your life have changed your views toward other men. If that's the case, then it's possible that you've always had bisexual tendencies.

I hope I don't sound presumptuous by saying this, but your past "revulsion" toward the idea of sexually interacting with other males could have simply been denial. I say that from experience. When I first realized that I was attracted to other males, I convinced myself that I was sexually attracted to females. Years later, I've realized that I have no sexual desire for females whatsoever.

Meophist wrote:
Starting from the beginning of this year, my orientation has changed again. And since then, it has changed five more times. Every time my orientation changes, what I find sexually appealing, or what I want to have sex with, changes, as well as what I find to be sexually repulsive changes as well.

That's how it's been to put it simply.


I wouldn't say that your sexual orientation is fluctuating as much as your sexual preferences are fluctuating. Contrary to popular belief, there's a difference between one's sexual orientation and one's sexual preference.

Your sexual orientation is to whichever sex your sexual inclinations lean. Your sexual preferences can include things that arouse you sexually, such as large breasts or a well-toned man.

I hope this clears some things up for you. :)


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Meophist
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29 Jan 2011, 2:44 pm

When I said realised, I mean in contrast from before. I've tried explaining this at other places, but I really do feel that my orientation itself has changed, even moreso in the changes after the first. To be honest, the change of orientations between male/female isn't even a concern for me anymore.

At the beginning of the year, my orientation changed to something I haven't previously thought being possible. That is to say, I became attracted to food, and any sexual feelings I would have for humans turned into repulsion. It was a drastic change, and not one I think can be attributed to a simple change in preference. My orientation has since changed a few more times, sometimes including humans, sometimes not. It's been a rather odd time.



Descartes
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29 Jan 2011, 9:08 pm

Meophist wrote:
When I said realised, I mean in contrast from before. I've tried explaining this at other places, but I really do feel that my orientation itself has changed, even moreso in the changes after the first. To be honest, the change of orientations between male/female isn't even a concern for me anymore.


Do you think that you may have gone through some experiences in the recent past that could have developed your same-sex attractions? I hardly believe that one could just wake up in the morning and think "Oh! I'm all of a sudden attracted to other guys."

Meophist wrote:
At the beginning of the year, my orientation changed to something I haven't previously thought being possible. That is to say, I became attracted to food, and any sexual feelings I would have for humans turned into repulsion. It was a drastic change, and not one I think can be attributed to a simple change in preference. My orientation has since changed a few more times, sometimes including humans, sometimes not. It's been a rather odd time.


I think most people would consider those to be sexual fetishes. If these feelings have come and gone, then do you think it might just be a phase? I know that's a pretty cliched hypothesis, but I'm thinking that that might be what's going on.


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Meophist
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30 Jan 2011, 12:40 pm

Descartes wrote:
Do you think that you may have gone through some experiences in the recent past that could have developed your same-sex attractions? I hardly believe that one could just wake up in the morning and think "Oh! I'm all of a sudden attracted to other guys."
I know it's a little difficult to believe, but that's basically what happened. I panicked quite a bit when that happened. Not because I was gay/bi, as I never really was homophobic or anything, but because I really did think that my orientation just changed, something I didn't think was really possible. I really do think that my orientation did change, and has been changing since.

Descartes wrote:
I think most people would consider those to be sexual fetishes. If these feelings have come and gone, then do you think it might just be a phase? I know that's a pretty cliched hypothesis, but I'm thinking that that might be what's going on.
It was as much of a fetish as a gay man would have a "guy fetish", at least from what I think of it. It was really weird in that I kept on getting aroused just by looking at food and I got a similar sensation from eating as I would from sex. When I stopped being attracted to food, I started to feel repulsed by it and while eating it still felt sexual, it felt like sort of incompatible sex and made me feel somewhat sick.

It's been rather complicated.



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30 Jan 2011, 1:58 pm

Meophist wrote:
Hello.

I have found my sexual orientation changing rather rapidly in the past few months and I've been wondering if anybody else has experienced something similar.

Uh... It's been weird.

I have. When I was a teen I was obsessed with thinking about sex & stuff with women & when I was 20 I was addicted to porn because of bad OCD issues. I didn't enjoy it much & I was pretty disgusted by some of it. Got frustrated & quit it & rite after I ended up in a relationship with a girl. We joked & talked about sex a lot at 1st but as things got more serious I got insecure & I quit fantasizing/thinking about sex. I couldn't find anyone but her attractive & I had absolutely no interest in sex with anyone else. The sexual desires I had before were replaced with romance desires & only for her. We broke up for lots of rezone & I had a mental breakdown & ended up on meds that probably decreased my sex-drive & I had no interest/desire in sex with anyone. I found out about asexuality & thought I was asexual. I got off meds & sorted stuff out & now I say I'm a borderline asexual because I'd be open to a very sexual relationship 1ce things got serious but I'd be OK with a very serious relationship that wasn't sexual at all as well. My sexuality still fluctuates a lot at times & I think a lot of it is dependent on external factors. If I was in a relationship my sexual stuff might be related to my partner's. I get very frustrated with sexuals sometimes because they are so completely obsessed with sex or I start falling into looking at porn again & I feel anti-sexual. Other times I feel very lonely & I almost desire random causal sex just so I could be with someone. I have a fairly high sex drive & at times I find masturbation quite enjoyable but other times I wish I didn't have a sex drive at all. There's lot of other stuff here to. I questioned my sexuality more often than Mr/Ms Garrison from SouthPark & I still haven't sorted & figured it all out.

My point is that unlike what the homosexual claim; sexuality is a lot more complex than simply being born that way. Numerous things can affect it in ways we cant understand or realize. My advice would be to try not to analyze or change your sexuality too much. Try to take things as they come & try to be comfortable with yourself & your sexuality whatever it is at that time


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zer0netgain
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30 Jan 2011, 4:58 pm

Just because you feel one way doesn't mean you have to act on it or that you'll completely like it.

So much garbage pushed on people that "if you feel it, you gotta do it."

No you don't.

Lots of people feel inclined to one thing or another but really wouldn't want to live that way.

Lots of people might try stuff thinking it's fun, enjoy it for a while, but ultimately not be satisfied with it.



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30 Jan 2011, 6:15 pm

Meophist wrote:
I know it's a little difficult to believe, but that's basically what happened. I panicked quite a bit when that happened. Not because I was gay/bi, as I never really was homophobic or anything, but because I really did think that my orientation just changed, something I didn't think was really possible. I really do think that my orientation did change, and has been changing since.


Meophist wrote:
It was as much of a fetish as a gay man would have a "guy fetish", at least from what I think of it. It was really weird in that I kept on getting aroused just by looking at food and I got a similar sensation from eating as I would from sex. When I stopped being attracted to food, I started to feel repulsed by it and while eating it still felt sexual, it felt like sort of incompatible sex and made me feel somewhat sick.

It's been rather complicated


I still think that you may have undergone various experiences that have influenced your sudden attraction toward other guys. Or, you've always had a predisposition toward bisexuality.

As for your other fetishes, you could either just be so horny that anything and everything can turn you on, or something else might be going on. Have you ever thought about consulting a sex expert, or seeing a psychologist?

zer0netgain wrote:
Lots of people might try stuff thinking it's fun, enjoy it for a while, but ultimately not be satisfied with it.


Wouldn't that be a good learning experience for someone? If someone were confused about their sexuality, then I would recommend that they act out on their desires (so long as they do so in such a way that would have no adverse effect on anyone) so that they can learn exactly what they find to be sexually pleasing.


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31 Jan 2011, 2:21 am

Well for the most part I have always considered myself straight, though now I really have no idea.....I have found guys attractive but I have found sex is mostly boring and akward for me. Now for a while I thought I was just uncomfortable about it but really did have a desire for it.......but now I've realised I have no negative feelings about this I don't really care. I suppose its a bit unsual but really i just don't really get pleasure of any kind out of it. So maybe I just have no sexual oreintation but its possible I might have at one time.



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31 Jan 2011, 2:40 am

Sweetleaf wrote:
Well for the most part I have always considered myself straight, though now I really have no idea.....I have found guys attractive but I have found sex is mostly boring and akward for me. Now for a while I thought I was just uncomfortable about it but really did have a desire for it.......but now I've realised I have no negative feelings about this I don't really care. I suppose its a bit unsual but really i just don't really get pleasure of any kind out of it. So maybe I just have no sexual oreintation but its possible I might have at one time.


What about masturbation same too?



Meophist
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01 Feb 2011, 1:12 pm

Descartes wrote:
I still think that you may have undergone various experiences that have influenced your sudden attraction toward other guys. Or, you've always had a predisposition toward bisexuality.

As for your other fetishes, you could either just be so horny that anything and everything can turn you on, or something else might be going on. Have you ever thought about consulting a sex expert, or seeing a psychologist?
Sorry for being a little late in responding, but I don't remember anything in particular happening that would change my orientation. I don't know about any predispositions or anything, but my changes in orientation have just... happened so far. I haven't seen any rhyme or reason, or any particular pattern to it.

After being attracted to food, my attraction expanded to pretty much anything. Any object I was able to see as sexy, as well as being able to be aroused by pretty much everything, even if it were inanimate or was something like sound. After that, my attraction became much more specific, and I found myself finding nearly everything actively repulsive and made me feel sick for its duration. My changes seems too sudden, drastic and random to simply be a preference or my simply being horny. Although I do find an temporary increase in sexual desire after each change, this has included the times when my attraction became more specific.

I've considered trying to talk to a medical professional of some sort, but I'm not quite sure about how to go about it yet.



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01 Feb 2011, 2:59 pm

Sexual orientation is fluid, and can change over time. Especially for those that fall under the umbrella of bisexual.


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06 Feb 2011, 8:03 pm

I agree with those who have remarked that sexuality can be fluid. I've met many people who have had that experience.

Myself I've always been exclusively homosexual, I don't "get" folks who swing both ways, but neither do I "get" folks who like Jazz. So I just try to be accepting and enjoy the process of learning about new things. Sexuality is not always black or white, there are often shades of gray. The most important thing, I think, is accepting your sexuality (homo, bi, hetero, etc.). Sexuality can be like Autism in a way; you can resist it or accept it as a normal expression of you as a person. And I think acceptance of something that is normal, even if not typical, can be liberating and lead to a happier life. That's been the case with me for both my sexuality and Asperger's Syndrome.

As far as cultural aspects of sexuality go, there will be people who will tell you homo- or bi-sexuality isn't correct. These people are wrong for pushing their ideas on you. It would be akin to a person insisting that a certain favorite color is correct while other choices are wrong, it's just a silly idea. So yes, provided no one gets hurt, if it feels good do it! :D


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09 Feb 2011, 6:01 pm

I have gone through quite a bit of change and uncertainty throughout my adolescence, I've never been exclusively this or that. Right now I just call myself mostly straight but it's not that simple.
It started when I was 11, I was watching the film "anger management" at my nana's house and there was a scene where 2 women were kissing, and I really liked what I saw. I was already boy mad before then, it was all boys boys boys, so this feeling I got watching the women kissing was quite new. Anyway I was thinking about my own orientation in depth for the first time, and at a sleepover with my best friend we decided to experiment a bit and we didn't do anything dramatic, we just put out arms round each other and stuff. So at this point I really fancied her, but for her it was just a bit fun and some time later she said she's boy mad. I thought I was a lesbian at this point, did a bit of research and read a book about homosexuality in the school library. I took the book home but my mum found it and she didn't approve at what went on between my and my friend, but she was OK about what my feelings were for girls in general. I ended up telling my friend on the school bus, and she told someone else because I said she could but I was too trusting towards the boy she told so it soon spread around the school and for a long time in year 7 I got s**t for it. Then I fancied a boy in my year, then another boy so I was like "oh so I'm straight then." So I told everyone I'm straight instead (I should have kept my confusions to myself really. I was messing people about.)
In year 8 I called myself straight, but wasn't that sure still. When I was about 14 or so, I found more girls fit so I thought "ok, I'm bi then." And for a while I went through a phase when I wanted to be a boy on the top half, or look just like one and it really bugged me. While I was 15 I ended coming out AGAIN but this time as a bi. Then I got a bit of s**t for that but not as much as I did in year 7. Then I was like no no no, I'm straight I think. No I'm not, yes, no, yes, no, AAARGH!

Now I think I've settled down properly, I am mostly sexually attracted to the opposite sex, I ideally want my long term partner to be male. But I am still just as capable of finding women attractive, and I often do. I do sometimes see pictures of particularly cute girls and think "oh wow", and I do sometimes have fantasies about girls I'm friends with. But my main preference is men. So I don't really give myself a label, and if someone asks I just simplify it and say I'm "straight, but I know when I girl is fit or not" and leave it there.


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