Page 1 of 2 [ 21 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2  Next

AnotherOne
Velociraptor
Velociraptor

User avatar

Joined: 1 Jul 2009
Age: 52
Gender: Female
Posts: 454

03 Feb 2011, 9:52 am

I am trying to figure out the reasons for my son's stim. He didn't stim a 1.5 years ago but then it just started and it doesn't stop. He can basically tap the object the whole day long if not interrupted. People always say that it is because he is stressed but frankly it seems that he is doing it when relaxed. When he was in a stressing situation (he changed schools) he didn't do it. Insights?



wavefreak58
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 26 Sep 2010
Age: 66
Gender: Male
Posts: 4,419
Location: Western New York

03 Feb 2011, 9:59 am

Why does it matter? Stims aren't automatically a bad thing.


_________________
When God made me He didn't use a mold. I'm FREEHAND baby!
The road to my hell is paved with your good intentions.


AnotherOne
Velociraptor
Velociraptor

User avatar

Joined: 1 Jul 2009
Age: 52
Gender: Female
Posts: 454

03 Feb 2011, 11:02 am

of course they are not but the constant stim interferes with his/our life. when he starts it it is very difficult to stop him and he needs to do schoolwork and other stuff too.
basically if he is involved in other things he does not do it but when free he starts it and than go into mild tantrum if he needs to do something else.



wavefreak58
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 26 Sep 2010
Age: 66
Gender: Male
Posts: 4,419
Location: Western New York

03 Feb 2011, 11:18 am

AnotherOne wrote:
of course they are not but the constant stim interferes with his/our life. when he starts it it is very difficult to stop him and he needs to do schoolwork and other stuff too.
basically if he is involved in other things he does not do it but when free he starts it and than go into mild tantrum if he needs to do something else.


So the stim isn't the problem as much as him getting locked into a pattern.

A stim meets a need. Sometimes stress relief, sometimes something else. Sometimes the stim is the focal point of the mind, sometimes they are just happening when the mind is on something else and they are more automatic. Most of my movement stuff is just my hands or whatever independently "doing their thing" without any real conscious awareness of what I'm doing. My mind is elsewhere.

If your son is tightly focused on the stim itself, it may be because he is shutting out other sensory input or some other stressor. Or he may find the stim fascinating in some way. Can he talk about it when not doing it? Does he recognize that it is interfering with other things? If he can describe his state of mind when he is not actually locked into the stim, maybe you can figure out what's going on.


_________________
When God made me He didn't use a mold. I'm FREEHAND baby!
The road to my hell is paved with your good intentions.


pat2rome
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 29 Jun 2009
Age: 34
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,819
Location: Georgia

03 Feb 2011, 11:22 am

I definitely agree that stimming isn't just from stress. A previous stim of mine was to mess with the corners of book pages in a way that made a round wrinkle that I would then rub my finger against. Reading is pretty much the least stressful activity for me ever, so it wasn't due to stress. I just really liked how it felt. It's kind of funny, I can tell when I stopped doing it: the first three Harry Potter books I own have a ridiculous amount of these wrinkles, but the fourth one doesn't.


_________________
I'm never gonna dance again, Aspie feet have got no rhythm.


hartzofspace
Supporting Member
Supporting Member

User avatar

Joined: 14 Apr 2005
Gender: Female
Posts: 7,138
Location: On the Road Less Traveled

03 Feb 2011, 12:43 pm

I agree that stimming isn't necessarily a bad thing, unless it is interfering with more important stuff. Sometimes I rock when stressed, but other times I find it soothing and do it for that reason.


_________________
Dreams are renewable. No matter what our age or condition, there are still untapped possibilities within us and new beauty waiting to be born.
-- Dr. Dale Turner


godmode
Butterfly
Butterfly

User avatar

Joined: 10 Oct 2009
Age: 35
Gender: Male
Posts: 15

03 Feb 2011, 3:15 pm

When I rock, I'm actually happiest. It's when I get so stressed out and am perfectly still that I want to go lay down because I'm so overwhelmed. Stimming gives momentum when I have an idea on how to get myself out of a rut. Like, when I'm doing math homework and rocking, I also tap the paper with my hand that has the pencil to keep my mind focused like "come on, come on. almost there, i can almost see it!". Or, like snapping your fingers or tapping your forehead when you are trying to remember something and it's on the tip of your tongue. Hardest part I can see for your son is changing from activity to activity. I can tell you, that without someone using logic on why I should change what I'm doing, I get annoyed very fast. So, using abstract reasoning might be a really bad approach. Like, "You should do your homework". If you take the time to explain why he should do the homework and how he can benefit from it, then he will understand why and change gears. I mean, even in college, I still struggle with doing homework when I'm drawing or playing video games for hours. It's really hard to explain how difficult it is to change gears when I can't logically see why I should do something like homework which in my mind is for someone else like a teacher or professor. And, I say this with no experience as a parent, so please take you disrepect from this. I just remember what it was like to be a kid with a high IQ, but no motivation to do well in school. Like, say he has to do math homework, he asks you "why should i do it?". I think the most effective way would be to relate the subject to something he likes. If it's trains or airplanes or video games, etc. "Well, if you get really good at math you can learn the physics of how a train is constructed". Or, turning the homework into a puzzle like homework. I think a lot of kids on the AS have an rubik's cube complex. I'm not the fastest learner, but I love being able to solve things other kids give up on. This could be your kids strong suite, also. He has to find a reason why to succeed in an environment that probably isn't that appealing. I hope that helps some how. It's really hard trying to find a reason to try when you don't see it. I can't even imagine how difficult it would be for a parent to help their kid on the AS see a reason to try. My mom was very hands-off when it came to me and school. I lucked out on seeing it as a video game around 4th grade. Good luck. Again, I hope this helped. =].



ksuther09
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

User avatar

Joined: 29 Jun 2010
Age: 39
Gender: Female
Posts: 154
Location: Fort Collins, CO

03 Feb 2011, 10:34 pm

People can definitely stim when happy. One of my clients does it when she listens to music. It's definitely a sensory thing. Perhaps getting him to tap while he's doing his homework might work. Maybe talking to the school OT to get him to come up with some sensory strategies that he can put in place while doing homework might also work. He/she would need to evaluate what those are and how the stim might be helping him in that regard. Best wishes!



Verdandi
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 Dec 2010
Age: 54
Gender: Female
Posts: 12,275
Location: University of California Sunnydale (fictional location - Real location Olympia, WA)

03 Feb 2011, 10:36 pm

I stim when happy or stressed, but I stim differently in each case.

I think my happy stimming has confused my therapist and she thinks I'm anxious/nervous...



danar
Emu Egg
Emu Egg

User avatar

Joined: 20 Jan 2011
Age: 70
Gender: Male
Posts: 2

03 Feb 2011, 11:45 pm

where does the word stim/stimming come from?
I can't find it in a dictionary and my psycologist never heard of it. I do know what it is and that it is diifferent than a tic. I would think it is from stimulate.
I do it and have always thought it was a timing thing.



AnotherOne
Velociraptor
Velociraptor

User avatar

Joined: 1 Jul 2009
Age: 52
Gender: Female
Posts: 454

04 Feb 2011, 12:25 am

thank you all.



Cassia
Toucan
Toucan

User avatar

Joined: 28 Jun 2009
Age: 41
Gender: Female
Posts: 267

04 Feb 2011, 12:48 am

I do several sorts of things that might or might not count as stimming while relaxed. I fidget much of the time, even when I'm relaxed - anything from rubbing the edges of my computer keyboard to spinning a keychain to wrapping a ribbon around my fingers, to tapping my teeth against each other to a melody. I also fidget when stressed or anxious, but in a different way, with more pressure or sharp movements than my relaxed fidgeting. I'm not sure what purpose my relaxed fidgeting serves, but it must serve some purpose, because it's pretty much automatic, and if I stop fidgeting in one way, it'll probably pop out in another way. It doesn't get in the way of doing other things, though; it's often something I do at the same time as other things, such as while I'm reading stuff on the computer.

I also find myself various forms of sensory entertainment/play. Today, for instance, I entertained myself by staring at a notice board which told the times of upcoming buses arriving at the bus stop, with a scrolling message at the bottom about route changes and things like that. It was one of those signs that makes words from lots of little red lights. I found that if I watched the scrolling line at the bottom for a while, and then looked up at the next line, there was an illusion that line above the scrolling line was scrolling in the opposite direction. I thought the illusion was kind of fun, so I kept making myself see it. I wouldn't be surprised if stress reduces the amount of sensory play I do because the stress puts me in a non-playful mindset, but I'm not sure if it actually works out that way.

I don't know if any of this relates in any way to what your son does, but there it is anyways.


_________________
Now convinced that I'm a bit autistic, but still unsure if I'd qualify for a diagnosis, since it causes me few problems. Apparently people who are familiar with the autism spectrum can readily spot that I'm a bit autistic, though.


Chama
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

User avatar

Joined: 16 Oct 2010
Age: 37
Gender: Female
Posts: 165

04 Feb 2011, 2:18 am

I don't usually notice things I do when they aren't from anxiety. The only thing I can remember right now is that when I'm relaxed... reading, listening to music, watching a movie or something, I move my toes constantly. I think I do it when I'm the most contented, lol... I love sleeping and I love that feeling when first waking up from being reeeally rested and when I first wake up (with no alarm) it's because my toes have started moving and it wakes me and my toes are like TIME TO GET UP, and I am thinking nooo, toes, stop it! lol



Mindhead
Hummingbird
Hummingbird

User avatar

Joined: 22 Jan 2011
Gender: Male
Posts: 23

04 Feb 2011, 5:32 am

Lol, Chama. As I was reading this thread my toes were dancing in their slippers. I used to bounce my entire leg when I was younger but it really bugged my family when we were sitting on the couch so my mom would put her hand on my leg to stop it. Eventually it worked as I rarely bounce my legs anymore, but they can't stop my toes, haha!



Cornflake
Administrator
Administrator

User avatar

Joined: 30 Oct 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 65,512
Location: Over there

04 Feb 2011, 4:22 pm

danar wrote:
where does the word stim/stimming come from?
It's a contraction of "stimulate" or "stimulation".

Quote:
I do it and have always thought it was a timing thing.
Stimming has many, many forms. Mine are mostly rhythm-based but there are plenty of others.


_________________
Giraffe: a ruminant with a view.


anbuend
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 5 Jul 2004
Age: 43
Gender: Female
Posts: 5,039

04 Feb 2011, 5:23 pm

Actually it's from "self-stimulation" which is what professionals have long assumed it's about. More confusingly they use it both for seeking out sensory sensations, and for repetitive body movements.


_________________
"In my world it's a place of patterns and feel. In my world it's a haven for what is real. It's my world, nobody can steal it, but people like me, we live in the shadows." -Donna Williams