why do gay men act like women and gay women act like men?
leejosepho
Veteran
Joined: 14 Sep 2009
Gender: Male
Posts: 9,011
Location: 200 miles south of Little Rock
WP is underserved by too few moderators who are expected to be all things to all people. Aspies might be better aware than most that such a thing cannot be.
I carry a card in my wallet ...
All of us are born for a reason,
but all of us don't discover why.
Success in life has nothing to do
with what you gain in life or
what you accomplish for yourself.
It's what you do for others.
_________________
I began looking for someone like me when I was five ...
My search ended at 59 ... right here on WrongPlanet.
==================================
I stand by my original position. It is patronizing for an outsider to come in and defend the interests of a minority.
Let's change the perspective somewhat. Suppose that this was an Aspie forum on a general board. How would you feel about an NT moderator coming in to moderate the board? At the end of the day, it doesn't matter how many Aspie friends and relations an NT has, that person does not understand our experience the way another Aspie does. The same is true for LGBT people. (In fact, I think it's a mistake to lump G, L, B and T together, but sometimes we have to be fellow travellers).
As I have said, I have no doubt that leejosepho is a fine, caring, upstanding individual. I am sure that his questions are well meant. Indeed, were he not a new moderator looking for some sensitivity training I would welcome the question from an outsider trying to learn about us.
But an outsider who comes in to be the defender of our interests by combatting homophobic remarks and hate speech carries with it two implications, neither of which have been mitigated: first, it implies that we, as a community, require outside help to defend ourselves from those who oppose us, and second, it implies that one does not have to walk a mile in another person's shoes to understand their oppression.
_________________
--James
leejosepho
Veteran
Joined: 14 Sep 2009
Gender: Male
Posts: 9,011
Location: 200 miles south of Little Rock
I can personally accept you perspective and opinion there, but then who made that historical remark that " ...by the time they came for me, there was nobody left to help."
_________________
I began looking for someone like me when I was five ...
My search ended at 59 ... right here on WrongPlanet.
==================================
I stand by my original position. It is patronizing for an outsider to come in and defend the interests of a minority.
Let's change the perspective somewhat. Suppose that this was an Aspie forum on a general board. How would you feel about an NT moderator coming in to moderate the board? At the end of the day, it doesn't matter how many Aspie friends and relations an NT has, that person does not understand our experience the way another Aspie does. The same is true for LGBT people. (In fact, I think it's a mistake to lump G, L, B and T together, but sometimes we have to be fellow travellers).
As I have said, I have no doubt that leejosepho is a fine, caring, upstanding individual. I am sure that his questions are well meant. Indeed, were he not a new moderator looking for some sensitivity training I would welcome the question from an outsider trying to learn about us.
But an outsider who comes in to be the defender of our interests by combatting homophobic remarks and hate speech carries with it two implications, neither of which have been mitigated: first, it implies that we, as a community, require outside help to defend ourselves from those who oppose us, and second, it implies that one does not have to walk a mile in another person's shoes to understand their oppression.
There's far too much 'us and them' in your post. What members of both AS and LGBT claim to want is equality and that is never achieved with such talk. The moderators have a duty to ensure the site's core rules are followed and I believe leejosepho is going a little beyond that so shouldn't be looked down on for doing so, I'm sure the same kind of questions will not be being asked once the forum has been going for a while.
I suggested that 'T' could warrent it's own section rather than being lumped in with 'LGB' in one of the posts about the creation of the forum so can see where you're coming from with that bit. We'd probably differ somewhat after that though.
nick007
Veteran
Joined: 4 May 2010
Age: 41
Gender: Male
Posts: 27,059
Location: was Louisiana but now Vermont in the police state called USA
If you guys are uncomfortable with someone who's not LGBT moderating this forum; I have time & would be willing. I had gender identity disorder & went true a secret cross-dressing phase when I hit puberty, I questioned being gay before, & I feel kinda like a lesbian in a man's body. I'm kinda a mix of everything here but not hard-core in either extreme. Someone like that seems like a good choice considering this controversy
_________________
"I don't have an anger problem, I have an idiot problem!"
"Hear all, trust nothing"
https://memory-alpha.fandom.com/wiki/Ru ... cquisition
leejosepho
Veteran
Joined: 14 Sep 2009
Gender: Male
Posts: 9,011
Location: 200 miles south of Little Rock
Just to be sure there is no misunderstanding: I am no longer moderating on WP, yet I do still hope things go well here!
_________________
I began looking for someone like me when I was five ...
My search ended at 59 ... right here on WrongPlanet.
==================================
I "thought" it was done to not be attractive to the opposite sex and as a signal to attract the same gender who were interested. But when I saw butch and fem couples, I got confused. The first experience I had around lesbians was with two hairdressers one butch, one fem. They owned a shop together, broke up but remained business partners. I remember being able to accept the butch one more readily but saw the fem as a complete freak. Now, as a 50 year old woman, I feel ashamed for thinking that way and often hope that they are alive and well. I was 14 back then and started to respect differences at about 19. We are all human beings and it is appalling what we do to each other. Words, attitudes, gestures can really sting and take away someone's right to be happy.
I can personally accept you perspective and opinion there, but then who made that historical remark that " ...by the time they came for me, there was nobody left to help."
Most assuredly a fair comment.
But, I suggest that it is there to remind us to stand up and defend the defenceless--not to take the mantle to become defenders of those who are perfectly capable of defending themselves.
_________________
--James
When I posted that I believed that you were a fine, caring, upstanding person, that statement was perfectly true. Whatever displeasure that I have expressed about the site's approach to moderation, or to particular actions that you have taken, I hope that you know that none of the displeasure was meant to attach to you, personally.
Please accept my sincere apologies for thoughtlessness in what I have said to you, either publicly or in private.
_________________
--James
Yeah, I think it's that gay men tend to be less afraid of their feminine side.
This notion of 100% feminine or 100% masculine has always been misleading.
_________________
EXPANDED CIRCLE OF FIFTHS
"It's how they see things. It's a way of bringing class to an environment, and I say that pejoratively because, obviously, good music is good music however it's created, however it's motivated." - Thomas Newman
Joker
Veteran
Joined: 19 Mar 2011
Age: 35
Gender: Male
Posts: 7,593
Location: North Carolina The Tar Heel State :)
I'm bi and I have no idea what I act like.
Some lesbians are more feminine than me, some a more masculine. I like that. I think it's because I'm naturally attracted to more than one gender expression. I like that people can be who they are.
Nearly all the straight girls are more feminine than me. I suspect that's mostly natural, but partly social conditioning, too. I used to wear more 'feminine' clothes until my sensory issues got worse and I admitted to myself that I feel better in more comfortable clothing. There's more to masculinity/femininity than appearance. Just because someone looks butch, doesn't mean they always act that way.
_________________
Zombies, zombies will tear us apart...again.
Sweetleaf
Veteran
Joined: 6 Jan 2011
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 34,439
Location: Somewhere in Colorado
I'm too tired to look at all the flames you probably got for this but one simple explanation is that some of us our wired like the opposite gender.
Whether you give 2D4D ratio any credit or consider the effects that hormones of have on the development of a fetus or not, men and women are wired in different ways and according to my fingers I'm wired like a man.
But I already knew that.
Also, some of us who are wired like the opposite gender don't act that way at all. I've been told my way of thinking seems "male" and am usually the weird one in a group of women but I am femme.
I won't even call myself femme, actually, because I don't care about any of that butch-femme BS but I am a feminine woman in appearance and always have been.
_________________
AD/HD BAP.
HDTV...
Whatever.
Similar Topics | |
---|---|
How do you relate to other women if you are able? |
06 Mar 2024, 5:18 pm |
Random Women |
19 Mar 2024, 12:37 pm |
Tall women should not be so picky! |
01 Feb 2024, 8:19 am |
International Women's Day 2024 |
09 Mar 2024, 3:32 pm |