Joined: 3 Jul 2007 Age: 39 Gender: Male Posts: 1,974 Location: Salford, England
27 Feb 2011, 12:32 pm
So last night I started chatting to a girl in a club. Things weren't going too badly, there was no kissing but a litle touching (nothing inappropriate) and then before I knew it, the night was over and we were heading our seperate ways. The conversation never went the right way to exchange details but I was planning to do that as we were parting ways anyway but she was swept away by her friends and made no attempt herself to do it. Things like this have happened to me many times in the past (not so much recently as I've not really been in the position for it to happen) but is not something I see happen with others. Should I be directing the conversation myself and making it happen? How? I can bring things up at stupid times in normal situations so don't want to look bad when making a first impression so try to let things flow. Once in this situation do women still socially have to let the man make the moves?
I really need to do something about this as I seem to miss out on what seems to be a sure thing. I hate having these issues!
In a club, she probably just wanted a hookup.
I've never been able to start a serious relationship in a club - too noisy.
Also alcohol influences people.
Joined: 3 Jul 2007 Age: 39 Gender: Male Posts: 1,974 Location: Salford, England
27 Feb 2011, 12:36 pm
emlion wrote:
In a club, she probably just wanted a hookup. I've never been able to start a serious relationship in a club - too noisy. Also alcohol influences people.
I would've been happy with that last night but things didn't seem to go that way either.
It's happened to me outside of clubs/pubs too, I really think I'm doing something wrong.
Joined: 3 Jul 2007 Age: 39 Gender: Male Posts: 1,974 Location: Salford, England
27 Feb 2011, 12:43 pm
emlion wrote:
:shrug: can't really tell on those little details.
Well I can't really be too specific as I don't remember in great detail thanks to the alcohol but I know we were chatting pleasantly for a while about different things, I think local bars, work and family came up but can't really remember what else. What I suppose I'm asking is how this happens for others, what do you talk about when meeting a potential mate? How does it move from idle chat to things happening?
In a club i've always found there's hardly any talking, well when I used to pick guys up in bars anyway.
It was more just 'hi, can i buy you a drink?', then we danced and then we went somewhere to make out and whatever.
Joined: 3 Jul 2007 Age: 39 Gender: Male Posts: 1,974 Location: Salford, England
27 Feb 2011, 12:57 pm
emlion wrote:
In a club i've always found there's hardly any talking, well when I used to pick guys up in bars anyway. It was more just 'hi, can i buy you a drink?', then we danced and then we went somewhere to make out and whatever.
I've though before that maybe I chat too much at these times, looks like I was probably right there.
In a club i've always found there's hardly any talking, well when I used to pick guys up in bars anyway. It was more just 'hi, can i buy you a drink?', then we danced and then we went somewhere to make out and whatever.
I've though before that maybe I chat too much at these times, looks like I was probably right there.
Yeah, the places to chat are more out to dinner/lunch, coffee shop etc.
in a club people just want to dance or hook up!
Joined: 15 Oct 2009 Age: 57 Gender: Male Posts: 8,336 Location: LA-ish
27 Feb 2011, 1:30 pm
I was making one of my extremely rare appearances at a bar recently (not an ethanol enthusiast) and heard someone say "Are you on Facebook"?
Seemed to work pretty well: they can either give you details if they're interested or have a graceful way out if they're not by simply saying "yes" and talking about Facebook in general...
Joined: 3 Jul 2007 Age: 39 Gender: Male Posts: 1,974 Location: Salford, England
27 Feb 2011, 1:45 pm
Grisha wrote:
I was making one of my extremely rare appearances at a bar recently (not an ethanol enthusiast) and heard someone say "Are you on Facebook"?
Seemed to work pretty well: they can either give you details if they're interested or have a graceful way out if they're not by simply saying "yes" and talking about Facebook in general...
Maybe try that?
Although I hate the way that Facebook has managed to worm it's way into every aspect of life that doesn't seem like a bad idea!
Joined: 12 Feb 2011 Age: 38 Gender: Male Posts: 128
27 Feb 2011, 1:58 pm
emlion wrote:
In a club i've always found there's hardly any talking, well when I used to pick guys up in bars anyway. It was more just 'hi, can i buy you a drink?', then we danced and then we went somewhere to make out and whatever.
I was about to ask where these bars were when I realized it was probably the males offering to buy you a drink.
Oh, fantasy world where the women buy me alcohol, when will I find you?