Dissociative Disorder?

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What are the types of dissociative disorders there are? And what commonly causes disorders like these?

I think I'm developing one at the moment. I'm kind of ruling out Dissociative Identity Disorder (Multiple Personality Disorder), because, despite entertaining the idea of having multiple personalities when I was a child, I don't think it's the case - I could be wrong, I don't know how Dissociative Identity Disorder manifests itself. I don't know other issues like this, though I have heard of Depersonalization Disorder.

Lately, especially the last few days, some symptoms have been showing themselves much more often - which I've had come and go throughout the past year or so, but lately, even more so. Initially, since my memory of anything prior to high school (especially prior to middle school) has become very fuzzy and unsure, coupled with other difficulties I haven't been successful in figuring out why I have them... I questioned if there was anything traumatic (i.e., child sexual abuse/molestation) I didn't remember as a child. I know "repressed memories" are so controversial, but I couldn't shake the feeling as I couldn't remember anything else. After a few days, some things began to click. Although it's just theoretical, it's making sense. To try to forget about things (the hypothetical trauma) back then, I avoided telling my parents or anyone else about it and just retreated to my special interests, downright hating anything and anyone that got in the way of me and them. There wasn't anyone to remind me of such events. Each year I added more and more to the special interests, turned them into an "escape" (although whether the trauma was recurring or not, it couldn't have lasted that long, the "escape" became a habit) and soon enough forgot about it. "That? That never happened.", essentially, was what I wanted myself to believe.

Going back to nowadays, especially in recent days, it got to the point where I couldn't even "connect" to certain times like 4th Grade - I know it happened but I "feel" as if it didn't. The few images here and there I may remember, like the classroom... I know they're real, but again, it's like I can't connect to it - I don't even feel like me being in the classroom ever happened. Other symptoms I've been having the past few days which seem to describe dissociation taken too far, from what I've heard:

- Feeling "out of control" of myself - going through the motions, it's not "me" in control of myself. Time flies too fast.
- Feeling incapable of conscious thought - things have to be automatic processes or they don't happen.
- Daydreaming about nothing - instead of about something, I'm zoning out for extended time periods just blank.
- "Spaced out" - I've never done a drug in my life, yet I feel like I'm on one. My dad thought I was on drugs in some cases. Lazy eyes.
- Mind in a haze - Words are difficult to recall. It's hard to "register" what's ever going on.
- Short-term memory loss - My memory's never been my strong suit, but lately it's just awful, I forget what I was just doing.
- Feeling emotionally numb - It's difficult to be happy or sad. More or less, just neutral.
- Hard to move - Exaggerated, but inertia (right term?) is quite limited. For example, picking my guitar up to learn a song. The song I have in my is hardly a pressing effort compared to songs I've attempted to learn in the past. I know I can do it. But just getting up to do it, the effort in that, the discipline, seems tough to do. So challenging, that I don't even want to do the task, but rather just keep sitting. Might just be depression?

The feeling emotionally numb one, is the more interesting symptom; no pain, not even loneliness anymore. It doesn't "register". I can't register joy, either, but it's almost like since I can't feel emotional pain, I'm hesitant to do anything about this condition. Yet, the other symptoms, despite feeling more "relaxed" or more "spaced out", or "at peace" (which I'm really not, that's more of an illusion), are probably not the best to do nothing about. Considering all the driving I tend to do, this might also be somewhat dangerous. That's an automatic task but still.

When this mixes with my social anxiety disorder, it's just plain strange. I can't tell if I'm scared or not, tense or not.

Sorry for the long posts again, but can someone enlighten me on what this all might be? I know I have social anxiety, depression, some characteristics of ADHD, and some characteristics of Asperger's (not all, but some). And according to various psychologists... OCD, Bipolar, PTSD, some I might be forgetting. More or less, I think they just don't know.

I'm not a doctor but this sounds a lot like depersonalization. I don't think there is really a treatment for that, but I've found that just keeping yourself busy helps. If you just keep yourself focused on something for five minutes it can really help you snap out of that state of depersonalization.

I am not an expert but it really sounds like depersonalization disorder. I don't know anything more than what is on Wikipedia. What does your pyschologist say about this? I guess more importantly have you found a doctor you can work with?

I'm about to see my therapist soon, so I'll bring it up to him.

Try to be as specific and clear to them as possible. Print out your post if you have to, I'm serious! One thing I have noticed is when vague stuff is described to doctors, they start making weird guesses. Good Luck! I hope you have a decent therapist.

I actually have two therapists, this one isn't the one that I mentioned at the end of the post (the one that just didn't know; weird guesses). I went before seeing this post... but like every other time I went into the details, he didn't jump to any conclusions - he usually doesn't, and tries to stop me from using them as all sorts of labels.

So he didn't end up saying either way, and with the exception of Depression, Social Anxiety, and "some" ADHD and Asperger's, (since those were known before I saw him) he usually is like this with any other disorders.

I ended up talking about the traumatic part of that post more, going into more detail, and while it ended on a "continue next time" kind of note, I know it's a theory but I can be pretty sure something happened. This wasn't explicitly stated there, but I figure that the dissociation I have now is due to that, trying to revisit that time, because when that trauma happened I initially tried to dissociate myself from it and forget about it by obsessing even more over my special interests.

I think it is actually a good thing that your therapist is not jumping to labels right away, because that can cloud what is going on. You are obviously having trouble and it is good that you are getting to the bottom of it.
I am not asking what the trauma was/is. Is there a realistic chance that that traumatic event could have occurred in the past. Also, can you identify any triggers. Is there something specific that reminds you of the trauma. How would you say your anxiety level is right now?
I hope your therapist can help you figure out what is going.
Also if there is trauma, severe anxiety (panic attacks) and depersonalization going on PTSD comes to mind. I would go online and try to research this stuff and figure out what makes sense to you.
Good Luck!

Everything but the short-term memory loss sounds like depersonalization disorder. Short-term memory loss could be, depending on whether it's because you're blocking something unpleasant (which would be depersonalization) or if you just have problems with short-term memory in general. The latter can definitely be better explained by being on the autism spectrum or having ADHD.

Sounds like the negative symptoms of Schizophrenia, leaning towards catatonia. Especially if this is something relatively recent, you need to speak to a doctor about this.

No, I don't think it's necessarily the negative symptoms, though sometimes depersonalization disorder can appraoch them. Basically, here is the Examination of Anomalous Self-Experience. It was designed for use in schizophrenia, but as the study linked below shows, a majority of the items have affinities with depersonalization disorder. In schizophrenia, during times when the patient has insight, these are "as if" experiences, just as they are in depersonalization disorder:

http://www.nss.nl.no/getfile.php/NLSH_b ... r/EASE.pdf

https://www.sussex.ac.uk/webteam/gatewa ... df&site=42

Now, I was looking at your symptoms and linking them to specific items and congrats! all of them have affinities with depersonalization disorder, so there is not necessarily any reason to call it schizophrenia. Because of the affinities with depersonalization disorder, this item checklist can be useful there as well, I think. Basically, you fit these items:

3.3 Somatic Depersonalization (Bodily Estrangement)
1.14 Disturbance in Experience of Time
1.11 Disturbance of Thought Initiative or Thought Intentionality
1.4 Thought Block
2.15 Diminished Transparency of Consciousness (if it can't be explained by depression)
2.18 Diminished Vitality (if it can't be explained by depression)
1.17 Disturbance of Expressive Language Function
2.12 Loss of Common Sense/Perplexity/Lack of Natural Evidence--incidently, this is still also known to schizophrenia researchers as "autism" or "primary autism" with "secondary autism" being withdrawal in the face of it--nevertheless, this is known to occur in depersonalization disorder as well
1.15 Discontinuous Awareness of Own Action
1.10 Inability to Discriminate Modalities of Intentionality
2.3 Other States of Depersonalization
2.1 Diminished Sense of Basic Self
2.16 Diminished Initiative (if it can't be explained by depression)
3.8 Motor Disturbances

I had derealization and depersonalization disorder. From what you wrote, it sounds like something else.