Louise18 wrote:
missykrissy wrote:
i don't think it's appropriate to allow a 7yo to have the choice to not allow you into their room. it is your house and you have a responsibility to make sure that space is safe and sanitary and can't do that if you can never get in there. you also have a responsibility to make sure you know what the child is doing in there because at that age and with ASD they are not the best decision makers or the best at controling their impulses which may be harmful to them. my step-son also spends alot of time moving piles of his things from one spot to another. i gave him alot of different sized containers and bins to use so that his things wouldn't be all over the floor or piled up on the bed. that way if i need to move things he can still find them easily. i don't know anything about your child but mine tends to only try to keep me out of his room entirely when he is hiding things in there that he shouldn't have, and has a tendancy to fill his pockets(and now his undies and sox too) with things like thumbtacs at school and hide them in his room. just a thought, you may want to check through his things when he's not there just to be safe. i wasn't going to say anything as i seem to get bashed alot on here for not being the super soft type of parent and automatically trusting and beleiving everything i'm told by the children but i have learned from experience that with the one child at least if he seems to be wanting to be left alone he is probably hiding something, he is also drawn to anything sharp or pointy. again, i don't know your kid but still have a look. it's better to be safe than sorry. and yes, if he can handle the privacy give it to him but knocking or announcing your presence is really all you need to give him before entering his room regardless of if he likes it or not.. it would be different if he was a teenager.
My mum used to have similar views to you. As a grown up, I don't speak to her anymore, she won't be at my wedding, she won't be at my graduation, and she won't be a part of the life of her grandchildren. She also won't be seeing me again. Privacy was a huge deal to me. I hope for your sake your kids don't feel the same way about it.
that's unfortunate that you don't talk to your mother because she kept your room safe for you when you were a small child. it is a parents job to do things like that. if my child grows up and hates me because i go in his room to take out things he has that are unsafe, to make sure he isn't destroying windows/walls/the floor/his matress/ect and to look for food that he stashes around so it doesn't make him sick then that is his choice, i guess
eta: it's funny, after i wrote this i was thinking about the whole privacy thing when i hear this creaking and ticking sound coming from upstairs so i go up and little guy has his light on, i let myself in and there he is pulling up the floorboards(some are broken now) so he can get the nails to play with...... yeah, if i had knocked he'd have covered that up and if i'm supposed to respect his space then things like this would go unnoticed for how long? i get the need for privacy, but safety comes first and sometimes safety infringes on privacy.
22 Mar 2011, 2:46 pm
