Sick of people undermining aspergers/HFA

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yes. why?

yes, because IT ASKED ME TO!

if i was being disrespectful i would assign it a gender. it has requested that i refer to it as it so i will, thanks! i'm not going to be disrespectful just because it offends your cisgender sensibilities!

Just clarifying to avoid misunderstanding. Thank you.

I actually thought this might be the case, , but I thought I'd just ask rather than assume.

I'm not cisgender (nongender, actually), so think again. I've actually never run across anyone who used 'it', generally people who didn't like he or she used 'sie' or 'ze' or 'xe' or 'e' or 'eir' or 'ou' or something else along those lines (gone by some of those at times myself). The only time I've heard anyone trans referred to as 'it' has been as a deliberate slur. If someone asked to be described as 'it', then that's fine, but don't expect people to immediately know, especially since 'it' when used against non-cis people is usually as a slur, not as a preferred pronoun. As someone who's been called 'it' as a slur because of atypical gender presentation (and sometimes because of disability, many times because of both at once, and sometimes because of the frequent Internet custom of calling people 'it' as part of bullying and degrading them), don't expect me not to flinch and wonder WTF is going on. Especially since you describe the person with the same level of disdain I've heard the bullying version of 'it' used. Now that you've explained it, it makes sense, but I'm not sure how with a lifetime of 'it' as a slur and only a slur (even -- no, especially -- among transgender/nongender people) I'm supposed to suddenly realize that this one time that someone's being called 'it' it's because they want to be.

so you just automatically assume the worst whenever anyone says anything?

No, I assume the worst when someone is describing someone in fairly unpleasant terms already and calls them something that in all previous experience has always been a slur. I'd probably have actually thought twice about it if you hadn't also said a lot of things that frequently correlate to disability prejudice as well (that all of their problems are their own fault or even deliberate and they're just a whiner and possibly also to some degree a faker and so forth). If someone's being described as 'it' in a conversation that sounds even halfway respectful, then I'd think maybe there's some reason for it. If someone's being described that way in a conversation where nothing remotely good is being said about them, I'm more likely to assume the worst, because that's what it's been every other time I've seen someone trashed that thoroughly.

Every time someone called me "it," it was never meant in a nice way.

Torako,

The only reason I thought to ask is because I do know someone (or at least knew, I haven't seen it online in several months) who uses "it" as a preferred pronoun. The usage does make people wary, and it's probably good when doing so to say that you are using it's preferred pronoun to avoid misunderstandings. anbuend's correct about how "it" is often used to dehumanize and attack people.

the thing is... it legitimately *did* consciously choose to be homeless. until recently (recently being a few months ago) it was not at all interested in getting a job or apartment or anything. and i'm calling it a whiner because it is. it needed a place to crash, then overstayed its welcome, ate all of our food, didn't pay us back, yelled at everyone else for... being white, i guess (which makes no sense because it's white too), essentially told my friend that his sucky childhood shouldn't still be affecting him and that it wasn't that bad (his mom tried to rape him and then attempted suicide in front of him before he was put into foster care), yelled at me for not showering it with affection every time it had a minor meltdown, and screaming at me and doing things that hurt me when i had a major meltdown (trying to hit my head on things, biting myself, screaming, etc...)
and because of the "eating all the food and then not paying my girlfriend back", my girlfriend pretty much ran out of money this month and wasn't eating because she couldn't afford to, and i ended up overdrawing my bank account by accident trying to buy her food. and it keeps acting like we have no problems... and pretty much sitting around feeling sorry for itself (you'd understand if you met it... really.)

i'm used to people just accepting it... since most people i talk to about it are people who have actually MET it.

I've definitely known that kind of person (and boy is it hell when it happens), it's just for every person I know that's actually like that, there's a hundred others where people are just saying it, so it's hard to tell when I don't know the person.

after not leaving two days in a row it was supposed to, it finally bought a bus ticket and told me it needed a ride to the bus station by midnight. i agreed, since i have a car. then carl had friends over. (person who actually lives there... basically it's carl and rena's apartment, rena being my girlfriend, and i live there a lot of the time, and that's where this friend was staying) carl and his friends watched movies and drank because... that's what they do. as i understand, this was arranged long before the friend decided not to leave... it's not like this was spontaneous (it was st. patrick's day)

instead of packing, it decided to take rena's blanket (which is REALLY important to her, since i made it for her) and curl up on the floor of her closet. for like, hours. when it finally came out, it just kinda sat around and messed with rena's desktop (something that really irritates her... she can't stand people touching her computers and she asked the friend not to mess with it anymore but...) and i was like "um, it's like 11:30, we should get going"
and it replied "oh, it's okay, i'm not leaving tonight." and when i protested, it was like "no, it's okay, i've accepted it. i need to just move on and deal with it tomorrow. it doesn't really bother me."
so that made like, the 3RD TIME it had claimed to be leaving and then not doing it. it claimed it hadn't been able to pack because there were people there... people we had known were coming! so i start having a HUGE meltdown, because it was supposed to be gone DAYS ago and it needed to GO AWAY, and i run into rena's room and slam the door and sit against it to hold it closed... and it GRABS THE DOOR AND FORCES ITSELF INSIDE (as i'm slamming myself against the door and telling it to f**k OFF) and starts HUGGING ME! sometimes that helps me, but ONLY WHEN I ASK FOR IT, PLEASE! so i shove it off and i think it followed me and i shoved it away again and it started acting like i was being SUPER HORRIBLE for not wanting it HUGGING ME! and you know what? it was there a month and showered... TWICE. it smells AWFUL and is GREASY and acts like i'm being horrible for not wanting to touch it!
anyway, then rena rescues me and tells it to f**k off, and she hugs me and that's ok because it's ok for rena to hug me because she's my girlfriend and i love her, and then the next day i take it to the bus station except it leaves its guitar at the apartment and then acts like i somehow asked for it when i really didn't, i don't want it, there's no room for a random guitar! particularly since previously it was all possessive about the guitar and "OMG YOU CAN'T TOUCH IT IT'S MIIIIIIINE IT'S SPEEEECIAL" when it doesn't even know how to play guitar and bought it on a whim... and then leaves it here without a second thought. yeah. real special. i can tell how horribly poor you are, that you can afford to buy nice guitars on a whim and then leave them in someone's apartment halfway across the country!

...that turned into a rant. sorry. i'm kinda pissed at it at the moment, acting surprised that we weren't going to just keep the guitar indefinitely or something...

edit: admittedly, yes, we already have its sega genesis, n64, wii, and DS here, along with i think some of its plushies, but... at least it asked first i think. didn't just leave its s**t lying all over the apartment like it did this time.

edit edit: so i guess my point is that i have ZERO sympathy for it at this point due to those things, and also an argument where it essentially defended its friend who called me a fag (for real, not joking) because i don't have android 2 on my phone. so i really don't need to hear about how i need to be understanding, when i tried that i got called a "ableist racist cracker piece of s**t honkey" for reasons i don't understand at all (the only bit i understand was ableist, since i stopped caring about my language and called the antagonist a ret*d when she called me a fag... and i'm racist because i asked her to please not call me a cracker. apparently. also apparently i was being racist because i was discriminating because she was a "POC", which doesn't make any sense at all because in her profile picture she looks white... well, no, she looks BLUE because the colour is weird! i have no idea what race she's supposed to be, and honestly i couldn't care less... i just don't understand how i was being racist o_O)

that turned into more rambling... TL;DR: I HAVE NO MORE SYMPATHY OR EMPATHY FOR THIS PERSON

Oh sorry I didn't mean to imply that you had to be more understanding. I just meant that on first glance (at the first post) I couldn't tell what sort of situation was being described (since I don't know you at all).

oh, okay.