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auntblabby
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15 Jun 2011, 3:27 pm

if i somehow lucked into getting a suitable mate, i would belong to them until death us do part. loyalty is the highest value.



Tequila
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15 Jun 2011, 3:33 pm

Not all of us have a rampant or frigid mentality, you know.

I have a sex drive and I want to have sex… but I fear that my sex drive will be nowhere near strong enough for any partners I may have, or that I'll be able to last long enough without fatiguing (I already have a big problem with tiredness as-is).

So it's not a bi-polar issue - there are lots of Aspies in the middle, just like in the rest of the general population.



auntblabby
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15 Jun 2011, 3:41 pm

the beauty of sex toys, is that there are never any "performance anxiety" issues to raise their ugly heads. they remain patiently in one's service whenever one feels the need, and will service their users to the extent of their needs and their abilities. if one cannot last very long, that is perfectly fine to the sex toy. often i can't last more than a few minutes, five at most, of quasi-bunga-bunga before i have to pop or become just too pooped to pop, so i try to get my pop out of the way before that time.



Jimmahjim
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20 Jun 2011, 6:33 pm

dragoste-este-mort wrote:
ok so i have a very active sex life and i cant seem to hold down a relationship for more than a week.
its like i get bored with them and toss them to the curb.
does anyone else have this problem


Im the same way too



auntblabby
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21 Jun 2011, 5:21 am

Jimmahjim wrote:
dragoste-este-mort wrote:
ok so i have a very active sex life and i cant seem to hold down a relationship for more than a week.
its like i get bored with them and toss them to the curb.
does anyone else have this problem


Im the same way too


how is it all these aspies ^^^ have such an effortlessly successful sex life while the rest of us struggle alone? what is their secret to their success?



biostructure
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13 Jul 2011, 2:25 pm

dyingofpoetry wrote:
I've noticed that Aspergians tend to either be promiscuous (or at least have a very high sex drive) or else they are asexual (or just have little interest in it).

I think it correlates with my theory that Aspies fall into two primary groups: Sensory seekers and sensory avoiders.

Seekers crave the touching and erotic stimulation of sex and the thrill or exploring another partner (or partners). Lacking one they tend to masturbate much more often than the average person (and even use it as a typr of stim)

Avoiders are overwhelmed by the sensory input of sex. They can't tolerate much touching and much less intimate touching. They also feel very anxious in the presence of people they are not very familiar with, so they tend to stick with the same partner. Avoiders rarely use masturbation.

Not scientific, but I based this theory on Wrong Planet posts over the past year.

P.S. I'm a sensory seeker.



I actually just sent a similar theory to someone via PM. So it seems we both agree. The problem is where to find the female "seekers" in real life, as opposed to on WP. I would expect it to correlate strongly, in females, with "tomboyishness" and more intellectual-creative thinking. However, I seem to attract "avoiders", who then feel uncomfortable and ruin my confidence in ever finding someone.

By the way I like your terminology, and may start to use it.



KingLes98
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21 Jul 2011, 4:32 am

I have this problem, but not anymore.



straightfairy
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21 Jul 2011, 4:46 am

auntblabby wrote:
Jimmahjim wrote:
dragoste-este-mort wrote:
ok so i have a very active sex life and i cant seem to hold down a relationship for more than a week.
its like i get bored with them and toss them to the curb.
does anyone else have this problem


Im the same way too


how is it all these aspies ^^^ have such an effortlessly successful sex life while the rest of us struggle alone? what is their secret to their success?


I'm not sure, but I seemed to click from plenty of sex to almost zero the last time my age clicked through another decade... :cry:


_________________
Away with the fairies.


Thom_Fuleri
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21 Jul 2011, 1:18 pm

I've been in a monogamous relationship for ten years, and we've been civil partners for five of them.
What's this "sex" thing again?

But seriously - I started out avoiding contact with people, and then when I finally broke my duck I went rather slu*ty. It got dull very quickly and I struggled to find a meaningful relationship for a while, then found someone even more screwed up than I am (and even more slu*ty). Broke up after a year. Then met my current partner online, moved in together a few months later and have done much better in my life since.

Sadly, he's nowhere near as slu*ty as I'd like. I'm trapped in a loving relationship with boring sex.



kittie
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21 Jul 2011, 2:40 pm

To answer the question in the thread...

Sorta. I went through a period of very low self esteem and knowing others wanted me helped that, so I slept with a few guys to reassure myself. NOT a good experience, given I'm not attracted to guys and actually rather frightened/repulsed by their 'area'. :lol: I'm hoping when I'm actually ready with the gender I actually want to do it with (female), it's going to be different.

But likewise, I don't think there's anything wrong with sleeping around - so long as you're safe and don't mess about anybodies emotions, I don't see the problem. Having whatever sex drive you have is nothing to be ashamed of. :)



auntblabby
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22 Jul 2011, 10:31 am

straightfairy wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
Jimmahjim wrote:
dragoste-este-mort wrote:
ok so i have a very active sex life and i cant seem to hold down a relationship for more than a week.
its like i get bored with them and toss them to the curb.
does anyone else have this problem


Im the same way too


how is it all these aspies ^^^ have such an effortlessly successful sex life while the rest of us struggle alone? what is their secret to their success?


I'm not sure, but I seemed to click from plenty of sex to almost zero the last time my age clicked through another decade... :cry:


you're only 27, you've still got time. try being twice that age with no luck whatsoever. the lucky/attractive ones getting effortless whoopie aren't telling anybody their secrets, and mostly are outright disdainful of those they refer-to as "losers" who are not successful [randy and otherwise] like they are.



keviefriend
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31 Jul 2011, 6:36 pm

I never thought of my sluttiness as an ASD thing. I don't think any one shoe fits all, and the thing I can't abide is monogamy.
The problem with monogamy is that it's the normative lifestyle in this country (at least, on the surface. I work in a motel, I can tell you, most of my guests ARE married, but not to the people I see them with), ergo, people are pressured to adopt and maintain this lifestyle even if it does not suit them. That is the primary reason most of my relationships failed, because I couldn't abide that, and all those guys thought they needed it, and maybe they did, but there is just a rigidity that kept us from being successful.

Now that I have a partner, who is neurotypical, but loving and supportive, and in agreement on that, I find I need the promiscuity less often, and I can follow the rules (lust, NEVER love, and don't bring anything home). Before, when I was cheating, I did careless stupid things that I don't do anymore.

Lastly, the cruising infrastructure in Minneapolis has been basically destroyed, so it cuts down my options.



Zen
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01 Aug 2011, 4:21 pm

auntblabby wrote:
Jimmahjim wrote:
dragoste-este-mort wrote:
ok so i have a very active sex life and i cant seem to hold down a relationship for more than a week.
its like i get bored with them and toss them to the curb.
does anyone else have this problem


Im the same way too


how is it all these aspies ^^^ have such an effortlessly successful sex life while the rest of us struggle alone? what is their secret to their success?

I have to admit, I'm as baffled as you are. I managed to get one guy and latched on for dear life. :lol:



auntblabby
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02 Aug 2011, 1:49 am

Zen wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
Jimmahjim wrote:
dragoste-este-mort wrote:
ok so i have a very active sex life and i cant seem to hold down a relationship for more than a week.
its like i get bored with them and toss them to the curb.
does anyone else have this problem


Im the same way too


how is it all these aspies ^^^ have such an effortlessly successful sex life while the rest of us struggle alone? what is their secret to their success?

I have to admit, I'm as baffled as you are. I managed to get one guy and latched on for dear life. :lol:


you lucky beta male man :wtg:
are the lucky ones all alphas and betas? i only know that in nature, omega males of most species never get to mate. if only the lucky ones would deign to tell us mere mortals the secret to their success- is it that they are all better-looking? with NT-like high social intelligence? just dumb luck? :huh: i gots to know. :scratch:



davidalan11235813
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02 Aug 2011, 9:23 pm

I think I'm a bit of a late bloomer, but I may have bloomed excessively to be honest. I didn't have sex until I was 19, and when I turned 21, I had only had sex with two people (both female). I am still 21 (22 in two months), and I have had sex with 27 people total, of which, 14 were male, and `13 female. I've found that alcohol helps quite a bit :D



auntblabby
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03 Aug 2011, 1:31 am

davidalan11235813 wrote:
I think I'm a bit of a late bloomer, but I may have bloomed excessively to be honest. I didn't have sex until I was 19, and when I turned 21, I had only had sex with two people (both female). I am still 21 (22 in two months), and I have had sex with 27 people total, of which, 14 were male, and `13 female. I've found that alcohol helps quite a bit :D


welcome to this thing of ours 8)
care to let us know the secrets of your success? enquiring minds want to know.