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auntblabby
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12 Aug 2011, 2:00 am

davidalan11235813 wrote:
I don't consider myself all that attractive, but many gay men do, and I can't bring myself to say "no" if one propositions me for sex. My only advice is to say that sexual compulsion is not a sign of healthy social/sexual functioning. I can't say no, so I've had quite a few partners..


so that is the secret of your success, they throw themselves at YOU. must be nice. :hmph: regardless of your own estimation of your attractiveness, the proof is in the guys lusting after you. just be thankful of your abundant good fortune. keep wearing that raincoat, though.



Thom_Fuleri
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12 Aug 2011, 1:54 pm

auntblabby wrote:
davidalan11235813 wrote:
I don't consider myself all that attractive, but many gay men do...


so that is the secret of your success, they throw themselves at YOU. must be nice. :hmph: regardless of your own estimation of your attractiveness, the proof is in the guys lusting after you. just be thankful of your abundant good fortune. keep wearing that raincoat, though.


In some cases, the main requirements for a gay man to be attracted to you is that you are young, male, slim and have a pulse. Personality is optional. Of course, such sex is entirely meaningless and shallow, but there were times I wasn't picky.

I was utterly baffled by how to get started. I remember dancing with a guy at a nightclub once when I was young and naive, gazing into his eyes, and even my body language skills could tell he was interested in me. And we looked at each other... and I had no clue what to do. I'd never even kissed anyone before. I didn't know the rules, I didn't know how to read the signs; I had a computer prompt in my head reading "bad command or filename". He copped off with someone else later on and I never saw him again.

My first moment was another club, some months later. I was out with the university LGBT and I'd actually given up. I just had a drink, sat back and listened to the music and the conversations around me. And then some lad pulled me out of my seat, dragged me to the dancefloor and (after several social faux pas that I should probably cringe at now) he eventually kissed me. I never saw him again either, but that was my first kiss. It blew my mind. It wasn't that good, it wasn't anything special and it didn't lead to anything more, but it broke my social paralysis. I needed someone to take the initiative. After that, I knew I could do it and I was floating on a cloud for weeks afterwards.

Basically, I don't think the problem is that guys don't find you attractive. I think the problem is that you don't recognise it and don't know how to indicate your availability.



auntblabby
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12 Aug 2011, 5:13 pm

Thom_Fuleri wrote:
In some cases, the main requirements for a gay man to be attracted to you is that you are young, male, slim and have a pulse. Personality is optional. Of course, such sex is entirely meaningless and shallow, but there were times I wasn't picky.


i was all those things many moons ago. would that at least one of those moons would've gotten down on the ground with me instead of stubbornly remaining up in high orbit. :roll:

Thom_Fuleri wrote:
Basically, I don't think the problem is that guys don't find you attractive. I think the problem is that you don't recognise it and don't know how to indicate your availability.


perhaps. i totally lack body language, both in reception and in transmission- one odd "body language" thing that happened to me a few decades back, was i was in a YMCA shower room after swimming my usual mile, and some guy built like a greek statue, long botticelli curls streaming down but with gang tattoos all over him, walked in front of me, doffed his speedo slowly "tease" style, then posed in front of me languidly, never looking my way once, bent over facing away from me and spread his stuff wide which enabled me to get an eyeful of his goods, then he sauntered over to the stall next to mine, again never even glancing at me once, then did it again, but a lot closer. i didn't know what to make of this [other than i had to struggle to not get visibly aroused, as there were a few other men showering in there and a blatant tumescence would have been mortifying, to say the least]. he finished showering then slowly walked away, and only then did he glance back at me oh so briefly and made a "hmph!" sort of sigh as he disappeared around the corner. i never saw him there again. my main thoughts at that point was that he was a gang banger looking to bait and beat any queer he could find, in front of witnesses. i seriously doubt that i missed the chance of a lifetime, i probably saved myself from becoming a statistic. but i fantasize about him to this day. other than this maybe situation, the only attention ever paid to me was by lonely old pederasts, and now that i am among the old and lonely, i can see what they were feeling. :neutral: