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DO you TRY to fake being NT?
Almost every moment when I'm around other people 18%  18%  [ 13 ]
Only at work but not in other social situations 6%  6%  [ 4 ]
In most social situations with people I don't know that well but I'm myself around my friends 22%  22%  [ 16 ]
I can't fake NT at all 8%  8%  [ 6 ]
I try to fake NT where the stakes really matter (job interview, etc) but that's about it 19%  19%  [ 14 ]
I choose not to try to fake NT at all; people gotta accept me as I am 15%  15%  [ 11 ]
Other (post below if none of the above fit) 11%  11%  [ 8 ]
Total votes : 72

AllieKat
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07 May 2011, 1:09 pm

I've been reading a lot about the differences between Aspie behavior and NT behavior and have been making much more of a conscious effort to "fake the norms" as instructed in these "guidebooks." Some of the advice in these books, I've kinda learned on my own when I was in my 20s through the school of hard knocks but I also learned quite a bit of new stuff too. I feel if I had these books earlier in life, it would have saved me a lot of misery.
My question is to other Aspies, do you also consciously try to "fake NT"?



Acacia
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07 May 2011, 1:22 pm

I have to fake it somewhat at work around bosses, but less around others.
There aren't a whole lot friends in my life to fake it with, so I haven't had a whole lot of experience with that.
I have a son who is very intelligent and has some quirks but so far I do not believe has AS. I try and not get withdrawn and strange around him. I really focus on trying to express emotions and show appropriate body language when I am around him.
So I fake it when the stakes are high... at work and around my young developing son.


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Wallourdes
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07 May 2011, 1:27 pm

I don't try, I do. :lol:


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AardvarkGoodSwimmer
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07 May 2011, 1:29 pm

Yes, I have, but then I feel I often get "stuck" at a certain stage and don't really have a friendship or even that much potential for a friendship.

So, I think about the theory of engagement, not conformity. But that also involves a whole set of social skills :? , some of which I am learning. :D



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07 May 2011, 1:32 pm

I never did until the end of primary school where I started to realize that being different wasn't "cool." Instead of trying to act like everyone else did, I just became even more shy and introverted. I can't act like an NT, so the best I can do is try not to be an aspie. But if I'm around people that I know won't judge me then I don't really try.


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07 May 2011, 1:36 pm

I try to fake NT when the stakes are high, like at job interviews, dealing with certain supervisors and such, where it seems really important to make certain NTs comfortable so that they'll give me a chance at all.

I try to somewhat fake NT in certain other situations without taking it as far as when the stakes are high. It's somewhere in the middle between trying to completely fake NT and completely being my true self. I do this most of the time at work for example, and at some social gatherings. It would drive me nuts to try to act NT all the time at work, but being myself completely would probably not be well received in the workplace, so I try to find some middle ground.

When I'm at home or around my family or the few friends I have, or when I'm around people whose opinion doesn't matter or affect my life at all, I'm pretty much my real aspie self.

I wish I didn't have to spend a large portion of my life acting, just to get a chance to have a somewhat normal life, have a job, get opportunities and such. :?



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07 May 2011, 1:38 pm

I tried to at all my jobs in the past, just because I HAD to. It never got any easier, that's for sure. :/



Acacia
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07 May 2011, 2:44 pm

Amik wrote:
I wish I didn't have to spend a large portion of my life acting, just to get a chance to have a somewhat normal life, have a job, get opportunities and such. :?

:thumleft: AGREED


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07 May 2011, 2:46 pm

Somewhere between faking and not being able to fake. If I feel like telling something I won't, because they'd be weirded out. I'll try not to obviously stim or stand oddly. But acting NT (smalltalk etc) is way beyond me.



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07 May 2011, 2:53 pm

Mmm I try to fake AS, if that counts. Is the question "do you try to act more 'normal' than you are?" Because yes, I do that, but I don't think I could ever seem typical.



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07 May 2011, 3:25 pm

I do to a very small extent usually. Most of what you see is the real me.


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07 May 2011, 3:59 pm

I've tried to cut down the amount of faking I do, although I can't say I have entirely eliminated it, nor that I want to. I'm primarily myself in social situations, and I've let go of things I only held onto because they were expected rather than because I was invested in them.

I also think that my faking was a pretty thin cover.



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07 May 2011, 4:11 pm

I have to act NT around people otherwise when I stare off into space daydreaming I guess I look somewhat crazy. In waiting rooms I do my best to force myself to make small talk to try to make the people around me to laugh so they don't think I am ret*d or a lunatic. Forcing myself to act normal drains me of energy when I get home and can be myself. I hate having to fake being NT so much I avoid people as much as possible.


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Arius_Reborn
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07 May 2011, 4:25 pm

I just act like myself, which appears to be a mix of aspie and NT. I wasn't diagnosed until adulthood, so in many ways, my behavioral habits are geared toward fitting in with NT's. After being in the Army, my social skills are pretty good, as a matter of necessity. I might appear eccentric and quirky, but not to the extent where people think something's "wrong." Most of my friends were somewhat surprised by my diagnosis because they never suspected it, but said that in retrospect, it made sense.

Since the NT behaviors I have now feel natural to me, I don't feel like "faking" is the right word.



TeaEarlGreyHot
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07 May 2011, 5:58 pm

I used to try. I was never very good at it, and I've given up. I am who I am, and if you can't take it don't talk to me.

Then again, I'm a stay at home mom. I don't think that would fly at a job.


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07 May 2011, 6:08 pm

I spent a long period of my life faking, I eventaully cracked from prolonged exhaustion, I don't try anymore for the sake of my health.


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