do you still have a black/white perspective?

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As I learned the more "subtle" ways the world works, I'm not so "black and white" but I do believe in absolutes...I just appreciate that issues can be more complex and make strict interpretations seem rather harsh.

Circumstances don't take something wrong and make it right, but they do create moral conflicts in doing the right thing because someone will be hurt by doing the right thing.

Yes.

My mum has always said I have a very 'Black and White' perspective on life. She always says I have trouble with 'grey areas' and I'm overly moral sometimes. I'm not as rigid as I once was, and I like to think I'm not as naive and gullible these days also, but my stubborness is still thriving.

If I don't have experience with something, I tend more toward a rigid, dualistic view (I'd describe black/white thinking with those words). Experience in the world suggests that type of thinking has limited usefulness, so I try to gain sophistication and subtlety. The more I practice on specifice cases, the more the practice becomes generalized. I still have blind spots, of course, and in those areas I'll sometimes blurt out a rigid, dualistic view, but I catch myself before speaking and think first a lot more than I used to.

The type of language we use influences our thinking. I try to write without use of the verb "to be." I think that practice helps overcome b/w thinking.

That is a good way to get around black-or-white thinking. It's even easier to get around black-or-white thinking when you have to choose a side of an issue you could care less about. Personally, black-or-white thinking isn't the problem I have. In my case, it's often hard to actually choose a side when it comes to controversial topics. Most of the time all I'm able to do is acknowledge both (or all) sides of an argument. Rarely are my convictions strong enough to truly believe one side a hundred percent.

For me, my black and white thinking also means following rules without exception, and the expectation that other people will too. Something is either right or wrong.

Yesterday, this was really obvious at work: I'm a teacher, and my class go out of a side door to get picked up. Noone else does. Someone from another class was trying to get out through my door to a parent waiting outside, and I just point blank told him to go round as this door was only for my class.
The parent started to shout abuse in my face, and I just kept repeating "only class ... can come out through this door. He has to go round. That's the rule" (or similar), and the parent continued shouting abuse at me. I walked off, into my classroom and had my first meltdown ever at work- I don't think they quite knew how to deal with it!
When the headteacher (who knows about my AS) spoke to this parent today, he said I just kept repeating myself, and I seemed to be of "nervous disposition".
But to me, the rule is only my class go this way, and so I stick with that and enforce it totally. Black and white thinking again. (Does this make sense?)

I am not a black and white thinker at all. I think it is very unhealthy for someone to think like this. I knew someone like this for 10 years. It was pretty much hell trying to deal with him.

In some respects yes, others no. In terms of morality, politics, and worldview, I'm almost never solidly one way or another. Through practice, I've trained myself to see both sides of every issue, so I tend to never give solid yes/no answers on anything in this arena. I can tell you what I would do given a specific situation, but I don't use hard rules.

In terms of dealing with people, I often have difficulty with subtleties. I tend to be able to judge people's reaction to me and to other things as being either "positive" or "negative" and often can't distinguish between different negatives like "fearful" and "disapproving", or different positives like "friendly" and "flirting". I also tend to see things very logically and simplify things as much as possible, which some might interpret as black/white thinking.

So, uh, do you think it's a choice to default to black and white all or nothing thinking and doesn't take any effort to learn how not to do it? Or maybe need to learn how not do it multiple times with multiple different topics? Because I'm wondering...

It's a side effect of concrete thinking, which autistic people tend toward. It can be mitigated, and I certainly agree that black and white thinking is not often helpful, but it's not a matter of choosing one's neurology.

Sorry I have been been hurt by this guy I knew (psychically and emotionally) so thats why I typed what I did. I do understand what you're saying, it just brings back painful memories.

That's understandable. It can lead to some extreme stuff.

I have been hurt by them too and have been critical of them ever since. That was why I had decided I am not black and white and I refuse to be. I admit I can be at times but everyone is. I used to trash talk them for a while because of my ex's. Before that I was trash talking men and their high sex drives because of my first ex. Now my new b***h seems to be about stupid people. I seem to need to have something to b***h about and hate on.

Okay if you are able to change your opinion based on what you have learned when you learn something new, if you don't try and force people to agree with you, if you don't think your opinions are always right because you know it's just your opinion, not a fact, if you are aware of exception to rules, then you are not black and white. Simple as that. Same as if people spell things out to you about what be exception to the rules and you listen, you are not black and white.


Maybe I was never a black and white thinker to begin with. I only thought so because I kept being told "It's not black and white" and you know what that always did to me, I would stop and then ask "How am I being black and white" and then want people to explain to me so I can understand and stop it. Hint right there I was not black and white or else I wouldn't have listened. And people telling me "Things are black and white for you."

I had to be with my ex's to realize what black and white really is and it was horrible.

OP: Why do you say "still?" Are you implying this is something that can or should be outgrown?

I'm steadfast in my belief that things really DO work in black and white and that this way of thinking is a good thing, not a bad thing, because it reflects reality.

One example I can think of off the top of my head:

Someone that cheats on their spouse is dishonest and untrustworthy. Period, the end. People close to the cheater may make all kinds of excuses as to why the person cheated, and it's not to say that the person is all bad. But they're dishonest. That's it.

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I think sometimes people here are too quick to call someone's arguments or thought processes black and white during a disagreement, without really addressing the arguments in question. Sometimes the people saying this are holding onto a particularly rigid and unyielding perspective as well, so... I don't know, not sure there's any value in making the assumption that someone who makes an argument one disagrees with that they're just doing it out of stubbornness and an extreme perspective. It's entirely possible that there are multiple levels of nuance that aren't making it into the discussion because this is a message forum and it is not always possible to be quite as fully exhaustive as one wishes to be.

But there are things I am pretty stubborn about, and unwilling to compromise on. I'm not sure I want to pathologize my thought processes over it, however.