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pensieve
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13 May 2011, 12:57 am

I think a long term shutdown and sensory overload caused me to regress. I've been less able to take care of myself and only rarely will you witness what the old me was like.


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Niamh
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22 May 2011, 5:35 pm

I'm not sure I'd say I'm regressing, but I feel like I'm stuck, like I just can't make any more progress... I struggle with all the little day-to-day things and always have, and have worked incredibly hard for years to get over the difficulties there but they don't seem to be changing! I don't think I'm getting any more autistic than I ever was but I'm starting to worry that my diagnosis is wrong. I have learned a lot about pretending, which lets me get away with a number of social situations, but I keep getting exhausted and actually sick from doing the simplest of things, no matter how hard I work on coping with them. I was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome but I've been getting more and more suspicious that I'm more HFA or possibly even moderate. It would also explain to me why the psychiatric clinic I've been going to seems to think there's nothing much to help me with. I also feel like if I go back to letting myself be autistic, I'll be happier, more comfortable/relaxed and mentally healthier, but will depend on assistance... yet carrying on as I am, I seem to be constantly hurting my health... argh, I dunno... Maybe it's my brain's version of regression, just not able to take any more changes for now?



Surfman
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22 May 2011, 6:36 pm

I digress.... toxoplasmosis and the accompanying encephalitis (brain infection) have reduced my brain function

Brain function is also like a muscle, if you dont use it it will atrophy. It can improve again with exposure to social situations



Psygirl6
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22 May 2011, 6:44 pm

I had a major issue with this. especially in adulthood. Mine was because I was pressured into getting a job that I could not handle, and putting up with it for so long. Though I was still intelligent and wanted something where I can just find a job that I can do with my many talents and avoid the jobs that are too social and noisy, I was put into programs for the mentally ret*d with autism. The regression got worse, when I was misunderstood and put into programs, because I felt that I must be ret*d (even though I was extremely intelligent). Sort of "if you can't beat them join them thing". I was being controlled for things that I could easily do independently since I was a child, yet felt like a loser. So, I developed a self-esteem issue and just lost my very little social skills, some of my intelligence, and other things. Also, I was put on meds, which made it worse. It was so bad at one point that I even wanted to wear diapers, so I soiled and wet myself all the time. Ironically, when I finally stopped that issue, I had a surgery(took out my colon) which cause incontinence. But, I took matters in my own hands, and now live on my own, going to school for a career that I can do with my disability and no longer have that problem. The only "regression" I get is in my social skills when extremely stressed or during exams.



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Snowy Owl
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22 May 2011, 6:54 pm

I've always been aware of the "used muscle" metaphor in relation to social functioning etc. but have also recently begun to notice a worrying... adjunct? - which is that altho my "muscle" always had a finite limit and it never was able to reach a point where the "exercise" itself provided sufficient strengthening to enable it to keep going indefinitely - the strengthening effect itself is very noticeably degrading as I get older - AND even worse: it's overall "strength" seems to be reducing with age too.

Unfortunately this generally manifests as an increase in bitterness toward the world and people in general. I guess I'm turning into a grumpy old dude as I'm quite prone these days to just turn around and say to everyone "yeah, well F*** you too!" and walk away rather than even attempt to recover a situation or blend in.

In the context of my family this bothers me in that I realise we were MUCH more outgoing and used to go out and do things a LOT more when my 22 y.o. stepson was 7 than we do now when our second boy is 7 (tearing up as I write).

It's something that's very much a "current topic" in my household and my wife and I are working hard to sort it out. Discovering As and that I look very much to be AS is actually a huge help as it gives both of us a new level of understanding of what's been going on - the enemy you understand is easier to fight.