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Being too dependent on one person - help!

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marshmallow
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16 Aug 2006, 6:58 am

Thanks again everyone for making me feel less alone in this situation. I havent seen my friend for a little while now and I miss them incredibly, we have spoken and all seems ok.
One good thing is that the longing makes me write decent poetry ha ha
Its unfair on the people who really care about me like my family, if I could only give them the attention and mindspace I give my friend.



Captain_Brown
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16 Aug 2006, 7:24 am

marshmallow wrote:
Thanks for your replies.
Hi Captain Brown, I think my friend does care in their own way, its just that I can be very demonstrative ( perhaps overly so..... ). But my family are brilliant, how they put up with me sometimes, Ill never know.
Hi rhubarbplus custard, I feel for you, keep me posted, maybe we can support each other.
I feel so happy when my friends around, partly I think because I feel a connection with them that I dont with others, like I can say something random but theyll understand.
Yet it feels so lonely.


Do you go to a phychiatrist? I think you should, in a nice way, because you seem depressed.



larsenjw92286
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16 Aug 2006, 8:10 am

You're welcome!


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16 Aug 2006, 5:30 pm

marshmallow wrote:
Once more I come to you for advice.
I wonder is this a common aspie trait and do any of you recognise this.
I have become emotionally dependent on someone to the extent that when they are not around, I feel like the bottom has dropped out of my world. There is no real reason for this, the person is a friend and someone I totally relate with, but its not like they take care of me or even listen to my problems, theyre just there.
And when theyre not I feel the most painful longing.
It seems so out of proportion because I can not see family members etc for ages, but it doesnt bother me that much, even really close ones.
Yet this person is like oxygen to me.
Anyone had a similar experience?
love Marshmallow


Actually, this is unofficaly recognised as an aspie trait. ((I forget the resource.))

Someone once called it an aspie claiming a 'safe person'



lunchbox
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17 Aug 2006, 1:07 am

I've had this problem all throughout my life. When I was younger, I always attached myself to one friend, and usually trusted them explicitly. I've had some problems in the past because of it, and I've closed myself off and become a much more private person because of it. I now don't trust people until I know them very well, and even then I don't feel comftorable to the extent I used to.



mullion
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19 Aug 2006, 11:10 am

Yep, only every day of every wk of my life. I would be lost without my husband. It makes me worry how I would cope if I HAD to cope alone one day. He is NT, but v.placid (sometimes to the point of annoyance) & logical. I can be either quite overemotional (when stressed) but once have calmed down I go to other extreme & do not seem to need closeness (something he struggles with). He sometimes feels more like a parent than a partner :?



ooohprettycolors
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19 Aug 2006, 9:06 pm

I was dependent on my best friend in high school. it put a real strain on our friendship (unbeknonst to me at the time) because i had to talk to her everyday about my problems because only she would understand. She finally told her mom to tell my mom i was having issues which resulted in me getting my first therapist. anyway, she ended up getting a boyfriend which i felt as betrayal, even though i intellectually knew it was not.

now i am very dependent on my parents. i don't think i could function without them, so i know how you feel. i don't know what to do about it though, either.