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EmmaUK12
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19 May 2011, 12:03 pm

pinkbowtiepumps wrote:
While I don't think it is possible to outgrow having Asperger's, I do think it's possible to develop coping mechanisms to make living with Asperger's easier. Take me as an example: I'm 22 years old, and while I do still have Asperger's, I've been able to learn enough social skills to get by, as well as self-management skills leaving me able to hold down a job and support myself. For me, this took a little extra work than the average NT, as I've had to study these skills like you would study historical facts, but it's helped me. With some effort and maturity, I think these are skills that any aspie can attain.


This is what i was going to say. I spoke to my mum last night and she said i was alot worse when i was younger and my symptoms were more noticiable, however i still have to deal with my issues i just don't show i have anymore by acting 'normal'.



Dark_Lord_2008
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19 May 2011, 12:29 pm

swbluto wrote:
NarcissusSavage wrote:
Dark_Lord_2008 wrote:
Why fake being normal and sociable to fit in? You can be yourself and keep your special Aspie powers and eccentric/odd mannerisms.

People should like you for you and accept you for being you. People can either accept you or just go away. Anyone who criticises, judges you or harasses you for being different is just a cowardly bully.

The people wanting you to change have the problem. They are racist/prejudicial pieces of garbage. They judge you because they do not know you.


On the other, though... That doesn't stop a critical breakdown in communication between you and other people. Often, these misunderstandings go unnoticedand can have dire consequences. Likeing who you are is not often enough to better your economic situation, as employment can often hinge on playing well with others. Sequestering oneself to avoid certain overstimulati environments is very often highly inconvienient. And more...


Yep, employment and other social situations pretty much demand "fitting in" and "being accepted", so you pretty much have to sacrifice parts of your "true self" if your "true self" sufficiently deviates from the acceptable norms if you want acceptable employment and social outcomes. For example, not getting fired... not failing a peer-graded college course...

(I still need to learn "what to fix" with the latter, as that was my experience. While I bought into that "Be yourself" line hook, line and sinker at the time, that really is hogwash if your "true self" is socially unacceptable for whatever reason in whatever critically important contexts.)


Being insecure and pretending to be something that you are not just to gain employment or fit in some social group that you do not feel like you belong. Hell No.

Be proud that you have Aspergers and just do not give a damn about other people. If anyone tries to change you, Just say No and stomp your feet. Why should anyone change to adapt to the world to be accepted by others? People non accepting of Aspergers are not worth talking to. It is definitely not worth working for some jerk employer who discriminates against Aspergers. The job would give you stress and make you angry and having Aspergers you may do something without thinking it through.

Some people with Aspergers react in a violently/aggressively if they are put under pressure or bullied. Sometimes enough is a enough and it is time to react. Aspergers lack impulse control and will react to situations.



Last edited by Dark_Lord_2008 on 19 May 2011, 12:44 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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19 May 2011, 12:35 pm

Faking normal wears me out like you wont believe. I try to force myself to smile or make small talk for what to make some NT feel more comfortable around me? You can act normal all you want but you will always have Aspergers syndrome. You are lying to yourself if you think your the same as everyone else.


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19 May 2011, 2:29 pm

Adapt to it yes... outgrow it no.

Aspergers is a completely different way of thinking than other people have that affects everything about you and your personality. It does not go away anymore than your memory of some favorite occasion. It is indeed possible to adapt to it in various ways as has happened to me over the years. I used to be very non-communicative but through the use of writing over the years I have become more communicative than many NTs while still very withdrawn. It all depends on how you relate to and deal with the effects of your AS.



LP0rc
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19 May 2011, 7:56 pm

Dark_Lord_2008 wrote:
People should accept us or they can go to hell. It is discrimination. You either accept us for who we are or go away. Enemies force us to change, friends and family accept us for being who we are.
You are either with or or against us?


I suppose I am against your kind then. I much prefer continuing to learn and grow as a human being, and experiencing new things and finding new knowledge and insights into the world.

You are an arrogant isolationist, wanting to close yourself off from the world unless it operates on your terms. I predict life will hold many disappointments for you.



swbluto
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19 May 2011, 8:13 pm

LP0rc wrote:
Dark_Lord_2008 wrote:
People should accept us or they can go to hell. It is discrimination. You either accept us for who we are or go away. Enemies force us to change, friends and family accept us for being who we are.
You are either with or or against us?


I suppose I am against your kind then. I much prefer continuing to learn and grow as a human being, and experiencing new things and finding new knowledge and insights into the world.

You are an arrogant isolationist, wanting to close yourself off from the world unless it operates on your terms. I predict life will hold many disappointments for you.


Yep. The creed of darwinism has held true throughout history and human history is no exception, "Adapt or die.".

Now, to be fair to Dark_Lord_2008, when it's your own personal time and "your own thing" and, possibly, whomever who wants to hang around you (Assuming such people exist, like your friends and family that accept you, but I'm not sure if there's people who naturally appreciate everyone's "true self". For the majority of NTs, yeah, but the statistics for certain kinds of outliers sort of looks bleak.), not giving a damn what everybody else thinks is certainly the way to go. When it comes to interacting in a group that's not necessarily of yours or their choosing, you can still remain relatively secure while acting in a way that's best / most-appropriate within the context(Such as employment and/or school). NTs do it everyday, secure NTs and otherwise, whereas aspies just have to try a bit harder.

Just because you're acting doesn't mean that you're insecure, you're just simply adapting to the situation.

However, if you find that "not giving a damn about what others think" works for you in school and during work, good for you! You're one of the lucky aspies!



Last edited by swbluto on 19 May 2011, 8:21 pm, edited 2 times in total.

kittie
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19 May 2011, 8:17 pm

It's 2AM so I haven't really read the responses so far - sorry!

But just as a response to the topic title. In my opinion, no. It's possible to learn coping mechanisms so as to mask it, but I don't think you can outgrow it.



Dark_Lord_2008
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19 May 2011, 9:13 pm

LP0rc wrote:
Dark_Lord_2008 wrote:
People should accept us or they can go to hell. It is discrimination. You either accept us for who we are or go away. Enemies force us to change, friends and family accept us for being who we are.
You are either with or or against us?


I suppose I am against your kind then. I much prefer continuing to learn and grow as a human being, and experiencing new things and finding new knowledge and insights into the world.

You are an arrogant isolationist, wanting to close yourself off from the world unless it operates on your terms. I predict life will hold many disappointments for you.


I accept myself for the person who I am and no one can change me. I will not adapt for this world. I only believe in what I want to believe. The Eugenicists who want to cure or eradicate Aspergers Syndrome can go to Hell.

School was a bad time of being harassed, bullied and intimidated. I learned very little at school. Only anger, bitterness and resentment at the education system that failed me.



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19 May 2011, 11:29 pm

You can't just outgrow it with no help or determination.

I've been able to mask it very well socially however, people still pick up on me being different they just don't understand how.
Those that know me well however and see me frequently have seen my quirks.



Dark_Lord_2008
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19 May 2011, 11:44 pm

LP0rc wrote:
Dark_Lord_2008 wrote:
People should accept us or they can go to hell. It is discrimination. You either accept us for who we are or go away. Enemies force us to change, friends and family accept us for being who we are.
You are either with or or against us?


I suppose I am against your kind then. I much prefer continuing to learn and grow as a human being, and experiencing new things and finding new knowledge and insights into the world.

You are an arrogant isolationist, wanting to close yourself off from the world unless it operates on your terms. I predict life will hold many disappointments for you.


Arrogant isolationist, reclusive and I dislike people who want to change me. Medical professionals are part of the problem and they want to cure or treat Aspergers. Aspergers gives me super human abilities and independence.

Being arrogant isolationist is a characteristic of Aspergers. Typical traits of Aspergers are: introversion, odd, stubbornness, eccentric, compulsivity, impulsiveness, warped view on the world.

I strongly believe people should accept me for me or go straight to Hell.



ooOoOoOAnaOoOoOoo
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19 May 2011, 11:58 pm

People change. At one time, I couldn't handle going to dance clubs without getting headaches. Bleach did the same thing, gave me the same sort of headache. I no longer get headaches when I go to clubs or concerts or smell bleach. The taste of alcohol, at one time, was so strong tasting to me I couldn't stand it. Now, it's not that strong tasting. It's like some of my senses dulled so I am not as sensitive as I once was. This makes it easier on a sensory level. Maybe my concentration improved because of this, my senses dulled so my sensory issues lessened. I handle change better, too.
I still have an ASD, it just affects me in other ways, mainly social. I have outgrown some aspects of it, but not all.



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20 May 2011, 12:09 am

Dark_Lord_2008 wrote:
Aspergers gives me super human abilities


Like unbridled narcissism. :wink:



Dark_Lord_2008
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20 May 2011, 12:20 am

Why change your set routine, beliefs and values that you enjoy to conform to a different lifestyle that you do not accept? There is a lot of hate in this world against Aspergers and we should not change to adapt to a different lifestyle. NT is just another lifestyle choice. We have Aspergers and we are unique, independent and have special powers and super human capabilities.

There are people out there similar to me with Aspergers who will agree with everything I say. The quest continues for my yes team.

Why do people want their Asperger lifestyle to adjust to NT who live a different lifestyle? Why hate the people who are similar to ourselves and therefore hate yourselves?

It always has been and always will be: Us versus Them. Aspergers are super heroes and have to endure more struggles through out life than NTs. People with Aspergers are lone wolves and super heroes.



Last edited by Dark_Lord_2008 on 20 May 2011, 1:01 am, edited 1 time in total.

ooOoOoOAnaOoOoOoo
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20 May 2011, 12:40 am

Dark_Lord_2008 wrote:
We have Aspergers and we are unique, independent and have special powers and super human capabilities.

I and others notice that I have capabilities that could be described as beyond human. When it comes to driving a car and non conventional psychic abilities I venture into the realm of supra-powers. I have experienced phenomena in my car that defy reality and senses.



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20 May 2011, 1:15 am

ooOoOoOAnaOoOoOoo wrote:
Dark_Lord_2008 wrote:
We have Aspergers and we are unique, independent and have special powers and super human capabilities.

I and others notice that I have capabilities that could be described as beyond human. When it comes to driving a car and non conventional psychic abilities I venture into the realm of supra-powers. I have experienced phenomena in my car that defy reality and senses.


I think I may know what you mean. I have pulled off a few pretty ludicrous stunts when confronted with potential disasters while driving. Also when in a hurry/emergency. I've made the machine work to it's absolute physical limits. I've avoided accidents that I by all accounts should have been in. Squeezed between other vehicles with less than 1/2" clearance on either side at 90+ mph etc.

Also, I see cops, immediately and regardless of distance. It borders on precognition. Like an internal alarm system goes off and my focus of attention zeroes in. Never had a ticket, or accident. And my driving style is often refered to as suicidal.


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20 May 2011, 10:47 am

Yes. My cousin had a lot of Aspie traits, enough to match the Autistic criteria, from when he was about 3 to when he was about 16. Now he is 19, and doesn't seem to be very Aspie at all, because he's starting to go clubbing with friends. I'm 21 and still seem to be as Aspie as I was 10 years ago, even though I've changed, like we all do. But I've changed from a typical Aspie child to a typical Aspie young adult, whilst my cousin has changed from a typical Aspie child to a typical NT young adult, because he now goes clubbing. And if Aspies do go clubbing, then why don't I? Unless it's because I have social phobia aswell as my AS? Or unless my cousin has AS but is a confident Aspie with no social phobia (it is a stereotype so say all Aspies aren't confident).

So I guess I don't know the answer.


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