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Deinonychus
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30 May 2011, 3:31 am

So, because of Facebook I have been in contact with a few people I went to high school with (class of 1975). I asked a few on the reunion committee about a FB group for our class. Was told it was "in committee for months". Curious as to the difficulty involved, I tried to create a group, and BAM, there is was. Over a few weeks there were over 140 members (someone from the reunion committee contacted a bunch of people). I added two I was "friends" with from the reunion committee as adm. One turned out to be a control freak, wanting to post rules. was threatening to delete peoples posts (power happy), copying others messages to me, gossip, etc etc etc.

She asked to post a rule about "graduates only", I said "sure". So she posts a rule that was worded rather condescendingly, then right away adds someone to the group who had no business being in the group, so I messaged her stating that if the parameters were to be expanded at all, there were others that could/should be added before the spouse of a classmate (who she added).
So, she sends me a hissy fit message, telling me off about my "precious group" and how I better be careful or she will leave. So I block her from messaging me. She then deletes some information in the docs on our group, so I banned her permanently, and seeing as this was the second unpleasant mess from creating this group, I decided to leave it.

Now, months later, I receive messages from another classmate indicating this woman has told some false story about why I banned her, who she added, etc etc.

sorry for the long post, but HERE is my question:
My first urge is to make this mess of a situation public, to send an email to all in the reunion committee explaining what was done, said, and why I blocked, then banned her. I suppose that is being unsocial???????????

I just so hate bs and lies, backstabbing, gossip, my first impulse is to just get it all out there in the open for all parties to read/hear/know, anybody else feel that way when dealing with "social" situations?????



Lene
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30 May 2011, 3:43 am

Quote:
My first urge is to make this mess of a situation public, to send an email to all in the reunion committee explaining what was done, said, and why I blocked, then banned her. I suppose that is being unsocial???????????


I'm not sure.

One part of me want to say do it; serve her right and it gets your side of the story out there.

On the other hand though, you're both adults. This is facebook. It may look better to either completely ignore it or if you do send an email, frame it very carefully i.e. make it a question to the group looking for honest input (should spouses be allowed?) and don't mention any names.
Quote:
She then deletes some information in the docs on our group,


What was the in the docs? Was it important?

Also, you sure the person who told you about the gossip is reliable? It may be a misunderstanding on everyone's part; perhaps contact the first person first and find out if she is telling a different story to yours.



TheBicyclingGuitarist
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30 May 2011, 6:28 am

to quote Wikipedia:
asocial means "avoidance of society" while antisocial means "hostile toward society".

More and more people are using antisocial when they mean asocial. Unsocial also has some overlap, but has some distinction from antisocial. Antisocial with its use of the prefix "anti" seems to indicate actively hostile to society, whereas most people are not like that even if they prefer solitude.

High-school society is full of cliques, so I wouldn't be surprised that anything to do with high-school reunions still has some. Lene gives good advice in her reply above mine.


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Deinonychus
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30 May 2011, 2:55 pm

I meant asocial, or maybe I didn't, since I was feeling true hostility for this mess ;-)
I left the group I created for the simple reason of all this stuff just being a little more than what I cared to deal with since I had so much going on. As far a gossip, she was telling me things about others, being snarky, sharing messages others had sent her etc. Whenever someone gossips to me about others, I automatically assume they are capable of doing the same to me.

Thanks for the responses. To be fair, for the vast majority of the interactions was great, people catching up, reminiscing, etc.
I really think the reason the one pain in the @$$ woman is on the reunion committee is so she can power trip. I rejoined the group to see if I could un-ban her (so far, no luck), and it seems she is the only person on the reunion committee that has all the email addresses (or most) of the 650 plus from our class, and since she is banned from the group. won't send out a mass email to all about the group.
I told the man who is on the committee who was left as adm of the FB group that it was a problem if she was the only one of the 7 committee members that had all that information. (Their problem, but it does affect the whole class).

No wonder I can't stand people at all anymore!



TheBicyclingGuitarist
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30 May 2011, 4:28 pm

I'm glad there were some good times from the Facebook group. I'm sorry some people are on power trips and mess things up for everyone else. I did not mean to pick on your choice of wording. I have irritated many people over the years by correcting their grammar, spelling, etc. I am better now, usually. I hope I didn't upset you more by nitpicking about vocabulary. Good luck with your efforts. Peace


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Deinonychus
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30 May 2011, 4:37 pm

Oh, you weren't picking, heck I do the same thing sometimes. (Isn't that part of who we are? When I do it, it comes from a place of wanting to share knowledge so that people can become more informed, be more correct in their use of terms, but it doesn't often come off that way:))
No worries, but thanks for the comment!



raisedbyignorance
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30 May 2011, 4:50 pm

Such crap like this is the reason why I quit Facebook altogether.

I miss the days when the Internet was just an alternate communication tool and not a social contest.