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WilliamWDelaney
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04 Jun 2011, 3:32 pm

Actually, I attended school with a guy who was convicted of "statutory rape" for having sexual relations with a girl a handful of months younger than himself. Ruined his life, set back his education, left him bitter at the world, but the parents of the girl he'd been dating got their ill-gotten revenge on him. I hope they get rabies.

Anyway, the harm done in "date rape" is done mostly by the society in which the victims live, which is to look upon the "victim" with scorn or condescending pity. The harm stems directly from the disempowerment of women, and it could be eliminated by simply teaching women that sex, to seek or reject, is their right. Besides, part of what leads to date rape is that men learn from experience that there are many women who privately desire sexual relations but try to reject their advances out of fear of social scorn, so reacting to the "sexual woman" with shunning and social scorn does nothing except create for men a litany of sexual partners who "play coquettish" with them and then react with gratitude. Doing away with this trend would instill a sense that, when a woman says "no," she means to piss off, and the only way to do this is to make sure that, when women want to say "yes," they say "yes" and, when they say "no," they mean "hell no." That would also clear up a lot of potential headaches for honest men out there who don't ask for much out of life except a simple, straight answer, so sexually empowered women is good for everybody involved.



Last edited by WilliamWDelaney on 04 Jun 2011, 3:47 pm, edited 1 time in total.

donnie_darko
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04 Jun 2011, 3:44 pm

mox wrote:
Trying to convince her happier times are ahead makes you feel better, but doesn't help her - not at this moment. That comes later.

I suggest a site like rainn.org for you to get more information for yourself and for her.


Thank you. I'm just really worried about her.



PLA
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05 Jun 2011, 11:55 am

York wrote:
We can't abide crimes of any sort really, can we, Zach? A crime is a crime. There is no "big" and "small". Crimes always have a "criminal" and a "victim". No victim will ever welcome a crime, so there is no difference in size.



Edit: @ donnie_darko
First order of business is to eliminate the situation. Then you'll need to be there and if feasible encourage her to make requests of you. Be prepared to intuit when to sit down and shut up.

And above all, take advice cautiously.


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