Beating an obsession with another obsession?

Page 1 of 1 [ 11 posts ] 

nilescrane
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Nov 2010
Age: 40
Gender: Male
Posts: 894

17 Jun 2011, 12:12 am

A lot of you are already aware of my obsession with sex, naked women, that goes beyond any normal guy interest and into intense level.

Anyway, the past few days, I've been watching movies non-stop...any time of movie...movies I've already seen...movies I never got around to seeing. I've probably watched 12 movies in the past few days...and it seems to have put the women obsession to rest.

While some may argue that being glued to the tube watching movies isn't that healthy...but it's taken my concentration on plotlines instead of unrealistic sexual fantasies.

I like to read too...but unless I'm at "that point" in the novel where everything is unraveling, I have a tough time concentrating and continuing to read.

But anyway, anyone found success in replacing an unwanted obsession with a seemingly better one?



Vivienne
Toucan
Toucan

User avatar

Joined: 22 Dec 2009
Age: 44
Gender: Female
Posts: 276
Location: Toronto, Ontario, Canada

17 Jun 2011, 12:32 am

Have you research sex addiction?
Addictions of all types are common for people with Asperger`s.
I think it`s a combination of the desire to escape the world compounded with the tendancy for compulsion and obsession.<

It`s a pretty forceful mix.

Anyway, look it up if you`re interested. It might provide answers.

Peace,
Viv


_________________
Be not angry that you cannot make others as you wish them to be, since you cannot make yourself as you wish to be.
~Thomas à Kempis

"Be plain, good son, and homely in thy drift;
Riddling confession finds but riddling shrift"
~Shakespeare


nilescrane
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Nov 2010
Age: 40
Gender: Male
Posts: 894

17 Jun 2011, 1:21 am

I'm not sure if it's a sex addiction (as I haven't had vaginal intercourse) as much as it is a naked woman obsession and obsession with (my idea of) beautiful women.



OJani
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 23 Feb 2011
Age: 50
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,505
Location: Hungary

17 Jun 2011, 2:46 am

I would consider it a step forward. Thinking about plotlines instead of women beyond reach is a healthy move in my opinion.

In my case, I don't remember a time I had to suppress one of my unwanted interests, but there are examples of replacing less productive ones with more productive ones, and vice versa. :)

(I still hold the opinion that sticking to a suitable mate will eventually resolve your problem)


_________________
Another non-English speaking - DX'd at age 38
"Aut viam inveniam aut faciam." (Hannibal) - Latin for "I'll either find a way or make one."


Last edited by OJani on 17 Jun 2011, 6:13 am, edited 1 time in total.

ToughDiamond
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 15 Sep 2008
Age: 71
Gender: Male
Posts: 11,137

17 Jun 2011, 5:52 am

Yes that ought to work. Our "addictions" aren't really addictions at all. I stopped smoking by moving onto other bad habits. We just seem to need something to obsess over, I don't think it matters much what it is, as long as we persevere with it long enough to get it under our skin. Explains why I feel so empty when I complete a project. It's the ennuie between obsessions, and there I was thinking it was just a weird reaction to a happy event. Ordinary life is just too boring.



CockneyRebel
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Jul 2004
Age: 49
Gender: Male
Posts: 113,289
Location: Stalag 13

17 Jun 2011, 7:28 am

I've brought myself back down to Earth by beating my obsession with the UK 70s Punk Movement and allowing myself to become obsessed with The Kinks and The 60s once more, which is a lot healthier for me anyways. I didn't have the guts to do so the first two times in 2007 and 2008, but it seemed to work at last in 2009.


_________________
Who wants to adopt a Sweet Pea?


NowWhat
Raven
Raven

User avatar

Joined: 23 Apr 2011
Age: 54
Gender: Male
Posts: 102
Location: PNWet

17 Jun 2011, 8:22 am

Vivienne wrote:
Have you research sex addiction?
Addictions of all types are common for people with Asperger`s.
I think it`s a combination of the desire to escape the world compounded with the tendancy for compulsion and obsession.<

It`s a pretty forceful mix.
Viv


Addicts routinely switch between addictions to fill whatever void they are filling. I did.



nilescrane
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Nov 2010
Age: 40
Gender: Male
Posts: 894

17 Jun 2011, 2:07 pm

OJani wrote:
I would consider it a step forward. Thinking about plotlines instead of women beyond reach is a healthy move in my opinion.

In my case, I don't remember a time I had to suppress one of my unwanted interests, but there are examples of replacing less productive ones with more productive ones, and vice versa. :)

(I still hold the opinion that sticking to a suitable mate will eventually resolve your problem)


That's the thing...the women I fantasize about, most of the time, would not be out of reach for me. I'm a pretty good looking guy...tall, exercise, decent looking face...just have the nerdy/asperger stuff. I call myself Niles on here for a reason. I'm a lot like him, a stiff, white, yet entertaining nerdy guy.

Sure, I like cute women and like nice figures, but in no way like playmates or models or Kardashian types or anything.

My social skills and self-esteem just get in the way of me trying.

Either way...this movie stuff is getting addictive. i watched 6 movies yesterday.



nilescrane
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Nov 2010
Age: 40
Gender: Male
Posts: 894

21 Jun 2011, 2:07 am

19 movies the last week. also finishing a book (show of evil by william dheil)...seems to have balanced out the women obsession. still think about women a lot, but not 99.9 percent and not with the intensity and "extra" stuff.

i guess the lesson learned here is that if you keep yourself busy with things you enjoy, it gives you no time to obsess over one thing.

the other thing is probably that i was unhappy (due to being on the wrong medication) and opening myself to the aspieness and ocd, and focusing it on my lack of a love or sex life.



Sahmiam
Raven
Raven

User avatar

Joined: 6 Oct 2010
Age: 44
Gender: Female
Posts: 106

21 Jun 2011, 3:21 am

If you are a spacial thinker (maybe an S in your Jung personality type, such as ISTJ), do you think that part of the issue might be that you're obsessed with the idea of sex, as opposed to being addcted to sex? If your brain is putting so much energy into an intangible idea, maybe it keeps wrapping itself around it because there's no way to flesh it out (so to speak). If you are spending a lot of time sitting around watching movies or engaging in whatever activities with porn, try getting more gross motor movement into your day. Even if you're watching a movie while running on a treadmill, that might help get some of the physical energy out so that your mind can rest. Hopefully that will give you a new angle to consider. It wouldn't hurt to try it and see if it helps.



nilescrane
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Nov 2010
Age: 40
Gender: Male
Posts: 894

21 Jun 2011, 4:42 am

Interesting thoughts. First, I do exercise daily, even if I don't go to the gym. I also 3 or 4 times a week play basketball or throw the football with my brother. Also at least make an effort to even go out to the store or go out to eat or something everyday.

Also think I'm obsessed with the idea of sex...but from what I've experienced (everything but the actual penetration) I do like touching a female body/making out etc. . Wasn't so into oral...did nothing for me.

I guess that may have been part of the obsession...that I'm curious as to what's so great about the penetration that society has it on a pedestal like it's the greatest thing since sliced bread. But as of this moment, right now, i can wait it out.

I do crave human touch though with a female that's my type.

I also think chemical depression was limiting my other interests (exercising, sports, tv shows, movies, reading) and I was focusing strictly on women and sex.

The other thing is, I'm a very visual person. When I see a pretty girl in a tv show or movie, it's almost even more powerful than up close in real life for whatever reason.

I also don't look at much porn, even when the obsession is worse.