Diagnosing aspergers in children

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My husband was diagnosed Aspergers 5 months ago and I "totally get" his diagnosis and can see the signs and symptoms.

Now we are looking at our 7 year old son and how his problems can be dealt with. I thought perhaps my son had ADHD, but now I really don't know what to make of his behaviours. I am so confused about what is "normal" for a child his age,
Is this just defiance on his part or is it something else?
Over the past 2 years, the school have cited the following which I totally agree with:

Difficulty focussing on task, listening to teacher etc particularly when he is sitting with a group of other children. He is very easily distracted by other kids.

Very disorganised. No idea where his belongings are. always forgetting and losing things

He is very intelligent and observant but needs to apply himself more. He excels on computer work and this has been a significant instrument in improving his school work generally. he is good with spatial stuff, building legos etc and learns best by touching and doing.

Inappropriate distracting behaviour (eg: class clown type behaviour)

Improvement in his work this year has been due to the very supportive teacher he has who has implemented strict routineseg: get your workbook from drawer, sit at table and immediately start work. She explains to me that it has taken quite some months to get these messages across to him

From a home perspective, my son has always been high maintenance and since the early years I have considered him a little unusual. for example: he will become fixated on different things from time to time.
at the age of 4 he was obsessed with the word "chicken" and repeated it everywhere (public places, yelled it out in my daughters school assembly over and over again - making everyone laugh). Then on a family trip when he was 5 he walked around like a robot through the streets of Paris, Hong Kong etc (again drawing attention to himself and making people laugh). lately it has been superhero phrases that he has been repeating and bouncing around the house to the point of driving us all insane. he rarely stops moving. even watching tv he is rocking back and forth. today he decided to get a box from the supermarket (reckons he is going to sleep in that because it is more comfortable than this bed). Anyhow, so there we are outside the supermarket while my son is sitting in the box to try it out. Fairly harmless stuff but just "different".

discipline is really difficult. The word 'No' sends him into a spin and he argues with me everytime. he always wants more reasons for why I said No. he still throws tantrums. usual disciplinary methods have no long term effect. he swears likes his father and even washing his mouth out with soap did not deter. when he wants something, he wants something now and when he doesn't get it - let the tantrum begin. However, there has been some improvement with this.

Rather than being a loner, I would say my son is a more 'in your face' sort of child which can be over-bearing. Too much cuddling, wriggling (loves to get into small, cosy places), invades others personal space to get attention. his child carers at the age of 3 said he was a child that you always noticed. if he was in the room, everyone knew about it.

We got a dog just over a year ago. my son has been making strange noises in the dogs ear, smacking the dog and other inappropriate behaviours. i have been warning him over and over again. dog has snapped several times (not surprisingly). no serious injury though - is only a small dog who tolerates a lot actually. finally in the last couple of months my son has adjusted his behaviour to more gentle practices. dog is still wary so will growl frequently to warn him. i am glad the behaviour has improved, but i was so frustrated that telling my son over and over again to stop the behaviour was just not working. (normal punishments had no lasting effect

My son does have friends and there does not appear to be any specific friendship issues. (he reckons they all aspire to sleeping in boxes) Is this some sort of new-age child behaviour that I just can't relate to?

Your son's definitely displaying some traits from both ADHD and AS/HFA, however I can't diagnose your son online. If you can afford to, I think it'd be best if you sent your son for assessment (for ADHD and/or AS) by a Paediatrician.

In all honesty, your son probably just has ADHD. The description of children with AS, unlike their adult counterparts, remains true to the DSM-IV diagnostic criteria, because the criteria was compiled based on observations originally made of children.

It has been a problem amongst clinicians that children who are difficult to manage....boys in particular, get pegged with a diagnosis of AS without following proper diagnostic protocol or even without the child meeting thr DSM-IV diagnostic criteria. This is why you may find children with an AS diagnosis who really exhibit ADHD traits instead. This does an injustice to children who actually have AS as it makes them and their very specific problems invisible over time, much as calling AS autism marginalized the needs of children with low functioning, moderate/classic, or even high functioning autism.

Indeed. I didn't think that Argentina's son would have full on AS, perhaps PDD-NOS at the most, although both conditions are getting removed and merged into a broad generic "ASD" diagnosis. Argentina's son seems to have friends and doesn't have any friendship issues, which is unusual for children with AS as (during early childhood) they haven't yet developed sufficient social skills and compensatory mechanisms in regards to relating to their NT peers, and are more likely to have a narrow range of interests and greater sensory issues.

I think it'd be better for the son to first be assessed for ADHD as the description more closely resembles that. If he gets the ADHD diagnosis and receives stimulant medications, but still has other difficulties, especially in the social aspects later on, then an extra assessment for an ASD could be warranted.

Your son sounds very similar to my daughter. She's just been put on the waiting list for autism assessment. We've only seen one health professional and that was a speech and language therapist. He's an Aspergers specialist and, although he can't diagnose, he did see traits in her that were indicative of Aspergers and mentioned Aspergers several times during our appointment.

She's always been spirited, strong-willed, hard to handle, won't take 'No' for an answer. Until she went to school, I had thought ADHD was a possible diagnosis and ASD never even entered my thoughts. When the hyperactivity is subdued for some reason, the other traits are more apparent. Her concentration problem was noticeed at nursery as well as at school. The things I started to notice were quite subtle and a casual observer would not have spotted them at all. She's a very friendly girl (in your face type of friendly, like you say your son is) and she always make friends instantly. But, I noticed her not joining in properly in conversations we were having with other kids. This came as a complete shock, given her chattiness.

I typed a bullet pint list of behaviour (current and past) that concerns me and showed it to the depute head at her school. She agreed with me and started to progress the assessment.

That said, my daughter is a wonderful little character and her positives outweigh all the negatives. She was in a singing show a couple of weeks ago. She stood out a mile for 2 reasons. The first one was that, when it wasn't her turn to sing, she kept going to the back of the stage and talking to the cut-out animals and jumping up behind them. The other was that she put her heart and soul into her performance. She knew every word of every song (in Italian) and all the actions. She improvised and acted just like a lion when they were singing 'The lion sleeps tonight'. Some of the kids were just standing there, doing no singing or actions, but that wouldn't even have been noticed. If it wasn't for the strange stuff, you'd think she was the star of the show. The manager approached me at the end and told me that she was an absolute joy to have in the class. She sometimes does her own thing and likes to help the adults with little jobs. I was nearly in tears (of joy). If you can find a class like this for your son, I think it would really work with his nature. It sounds like he likes to perform.

Good luck.

Thanks everyone. you have pretty much covered most of my concerns. eg: the possibility of misdiagnosis. to be honest i am not convinced he meets the criteria for AS. And at this point in my life with all that is going on with my husband and my son I am very confused about where NT ends and Aspie begins.

I have arranged a private psychology appointment for me son.

Mummy_of_Peanut - your daughter sounds delightful. It has taken a long time for us to find an extra curricular activity that my son will commit to, but he has really taken to the football at the moment which is great and he appears to be doing very well at it (so no motor problems there). He is very strong for his age.
I am very worried though that my son get the correct therapy because I don't want him to go through what his father has/is. A diagnosis late in life with little chance of accessing resources to improve things. My husband is depressed, anxious, low self esteem and very limited motivation to chnage and/or learn.

On the other hand, my son is setting his sights on becoming an engineer and enjoys watching documentary about how things are made! Although his career choices may change I am really pleased he is showing in interest in this sort of stuff. My husband has never had interest in career and as a result i am under immense pressure to provide for the family.

Thanks for all you advice