Do people get afraid if you stare at them?

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goatswithguns
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22 Jul 2011, 4:18 pm

I sometimes do this if I'm not paying attention. I think it's the aspie thing of, even when one makes eye-contact, forgetting to move the face away from the blank, neutral face. Usually when people make eye-contact they smile, even just a little, and just staring without any other face change is like eye-contact without the good intentions of emotional connection. Looks creepy to someone who doesn't understand what's going on.



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22 Jul 2011, 4:42 pm

My unique exaggerated facial expressions combined with my lovely eyes always makes people's hearts skip a beat. Strangers never hold back to tell me so.

It has never scared a person. However, I never do stare really; my eyes are always shifting to my surroundings. Except when I can focus in a classroom setting.


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Last edited by Infoseeker on 22 Jul 2011, 5:18 pm, edited 1 time in total.

ooOoOoOAnaOoOoOoo
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22 Jul 2011, 4:51 pm

I wear sunglasses so most people can't tell I'm staring at them and I don't tend to stare at family members.



LuckyLeft
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22 Jul 2011, 8:08 pm

I usually tend to look off in another direction after looking at someone for a few seconds. But I do have a tendency to stare at people uncontrollably, and it tends to have certain females that I'm some sort of creep, and has males look at me funny. And I don't like people looking at me either, I can get very anxious quickly.



Buck-oh
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22 Jul 2011, 8:21 pm

PaleBlueDotty wrote:
When I taught myself to have eye contact I started out by looking at a spot right between of the eyebrows of my conversation partner. This was often commented on as 'staring through them'.


I do the "staring through them" thing too, and while people find it annoying or confusing, they don't find it particularly disturbing, threatening, or unsettling. I just tell people I have astigmatism and leave it at that. If I have a choice between exhibiting quirky or menacing traits, I'll go with "quirky" every time.

I do the "staring" when I've been drinking (which can lead to some bizarre confrontations if it makes someone feel uncomfortable, and they've been drinking too) and the "blank stare" when my mind is elsewhere.



Last edited by Buck-oh on 22 Jul 2011, 8:26 pm, edited 1 time in total.

LostUndergrad9090
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22 Jul 2011, 8:26 pm

this kinda helps me out with my ex. I always wondered why she stared at me. Now i now. I always felt like she was plotting something. It explains a lot. I would say she was an up their aspie. She was very very smart. I think her first semester at university she got on deans list or something like that. Taking 15 hours all nursing oriented classes and general education classes. Crazy smart. read a lot too.



LuckyLeft
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22 Jul 2011, 8:27 pm

Buck-oh wrote:
PaleBlueDotty wrote:
When I taught myself to have eye contact I started out by looking at a spot right between of the eyebrows of my conversation partner. This was often commented on as 'staring through them'.


I do the "staring through them" thing too, and while people find it annoying or confusing, they don't find it particularly disturbing, threatening, or unsettling. I just tell people I have astigmatism and leave it at that. If I have a choice between exhibiting quirky or menacing traits, I'll go with "quirky" every time.

I do the "staring" when I've been drinking (which can lead to some bizarre confrontations if it makes someone feel uncomfortable, and they've been drinking too) and the "blank stare" when my mind is elsewhere.


I've tried staring through people, but I think certain people have found that uncomfortable, too....



johnsmcjohn
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22 Jul 2011, 8:28 pm

Yes. I rarely look at people directly because I seem to creep them out. It's been that way for years.



Buck-oh
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22 Jul 2011, 8:44 pm

LuckyLeft wrote:
I've tried staring through people, but I think certain people have found that uncomfortable, too....


Both are uncomfortable, but I find someone "focused" on a spot 2 or 3 feet behind my head a lot less uncomfortable than someone staring directly at me. I also seem to get more of a hostile reaction to directly staring at someone than I do with giving them the unfocused gaze.

After awhile, the people who know you tend to normalize the unfocused gaze, and it's no big deal. The intense stare seems to be a lot more difficult for friends to dismiss.

Considering that some people consider eye contact to be part of the mating ritual, staring might be sending a whole lot of mixed messages.



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22 Jul 2011, 9:04 pm

Yes, this is one of the logical reasons why I'm uncomfortable with making eye contact.


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LuckyLeft
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22 Jul 2011, 10:42 pm

Buck-oh wrote:
LuckyLeft wrote:
I've tried staring through people, but I think certain people have found that uncomfortable, too....


Both are uncomfortable, but I find someone "focused" on a spot 2 or 3 feet behind my head a lot less uncomfortable than someone staring directly at me. I also seem to get more of a hostile reaction to directly staring at someone than I do with giving them the unfocused gaze.

After awhile, the people who know you tend to normalize the unfocused gaze, and it's no big deal. The intense stare seems to be a lot more difficult for friends to dismiss.

Considering that some people consider eye contact to be part of the mating ritual, staring might be sending a whole lot of mixed messages.


My family seems to not care, it's associates & acquaintances that find it awkward. And yes, staring usually sends the wrong message, especially with females, "He's weird, stay away from him" or guys thinking I had a problem with them. There are a few times if I stare the female takes it the wrong way and thinks I'm flirting, and gives me a mean look if I do nothing else and I see them again :huh: