Maybe it's supposed to be like that?

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I've been thinking a lot lately about how women are objectified and how certain men buy women's bodies and such. I feel it's unfair, but again maybe not? Maybe i'm romanticizing relationships between men and women because i'm an aspie and i don't understand how it's supposed to be? Is it possible that relationships work like this: the woman lets the man have sex with her and in return he gives her gifts, money, protection, children etc. Like a business deal or something? Men use women, so maybe we're supposed to use them back? Afterall, isn't using other people what NT social interaction is all about?
Don't get me wrong, i don't think this is a good thing. I would love it if it was like in the movies where relationships are about being together because you love each other. But is it realistic?
I've seen some posts in the L&D forum were male WP-members are complitly shameless over the fact that they buy prostitutes. So maybe women should be shameless too and use men back. I'm not saying we should all become prostitutes, but that we should seek out a man we can get something from. Like financial security, good genes for our children, a house in the country, sex etc.
Again: i don't think this is a good think, but sometimes you just have to be realistic. I've always looked down on women who are "gold-diggers", but maybe they are the ones who really understand what man-woman relationships are all about. I've seen what happens to people who marry out of "love" and it's not pretty. Usually they love each other for some times, but then they hate each other for the rest of their lives. If you marry for money or some other advantage, at least you know from start that it's not about love. That way you won't get disappointed.

This is my take on the man-woman relationship. IMO, the sole purpose of "love" is the procreation of the species. Without that initial attraction, the human species would die out. It also ensures that if the 2 people that have offspring, they will likely raise them to maturity. I will assume that some people will try to be all grandiose and defend love and if they feel that way, wonderful. You talked about how people will be in love at first and then that emotion disappears. The way I see it, the offspring has been produced and there is no need for that emotion anymore.

I'm not exactly sure what you mean so please correct me if I respond incorrectly to your post.

I've noticed that a lot of people mix up lust and love. When the lust diminishes, I've noticed that they think they've fallen out of love with somebody while instead they appear to be noticing that they have little or nothing in common with each other.

I was friends with my bf before he and I started dating, I think because of this neither of us had an illusion about the other it lead to a true love based on real affection and shared experience. Personally, I think that using people just makes more of the same but that's just my view on it.

I think being honest is best about this kind of thing. If a woman doesn't care about being loved by or loving their husband, it's ok for them but pretense of love is just wrong to my view.

About the guys on WP, some of them have great difficulty establishing any relationships (especially bf/gf ones) and the lack of authentic human contact can feel like being denied food for some. I can see why they would turn to a prostitute in that time of aloneness, I've read about men acquiring the services of a prostitute for to simply talk with a woman and know that they won't be rejected. There are other reasons that men go to prostitutes but I'd say that's why many of the WP guy who say about that kind of thing may do it.

On some level, you are right. I was down on heterosexuality for a while because it seems to work a bit like a market when you look at it on a macro level. I realised that there are many exceptions, though. Some women use men for sex. Some women are in relationships where sex is more important to them than it is to their partner. Some people are just together because they need companionship and because they can't stand being alone. Sex and power don't have that much to do with it, so much as existential panic and a need to complete ones sense of identity.

When I see an old couple who are getting sick and dying together, I see the real reason people get into relationships.

[quote="puddingmouse"]On some level, you are right. I was down on heterosexuality for a while because it seems to work a bit like a market when you look at it on a macro level.


Aren't there any young lesbian golddiggers around who are on the hunt for innocent elderly ladies?

I'm hetero so I don't know how things work on the lesbian scene.

My parents married out of love and they've remained together in a happy, committed relationship for more than 45 years. My in-laws have done the same. They have their bad times and good times but they are committed and their marriages are strong.

There are many different kinds of love; sexual love is just one of them and one of the less important, actually, when it comes to making a good marriage. That sounds strange but it's true. Sexual love should be there, but it comes and goes depending on how one feels or what's going on. More importantly is companionship and caring as much, if not more sometimes, about the other person's welfare as you do your own. It's give and take; neither partner gives nor takes more than the other yet there's no "keeping score" either.

It's about maturity and values today's society scoffs at.

It's hardwired into our nature to be attracted to others on basis of wealth and good genes and material or social gain, but if that's all there is to the relationship it is not going to work.

This seems to be assuming that

a) all men want in a woman is sex - that is, sex without affection, prostitute-style

b) women don't enjoy sex as much as men

and

c) most/all women value material resources that a man could provide them.

I can't speak about a), not being a man, but b) and c) are completely untrue for me.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOpleasedon'tdoitNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

that's pretty much it.

oh FINE i'll elaborate.

love or any relationship is based on more than just a transaction... men who visit prostitutes (overall, not every single man) are more likely to view women and relationships in a negative light - more so than the views they held prior to visiting prostitutes. it is best taken with a grain of salt when a man visits hookers then reduces all realtionships to nothing but sex and money.

not all men are like that, and i can tell you absolutely there is nothing universal in these ideas. just because some men and women are really that shallow and nasty doesn't mean that WE need to be.

maintain hope for love and humanity and move forward with the assumption that there will be like-minded people, and i assure you that you will find them.

It has been shown scientificly that "being in love" is a lot like being drunk and that it seriously impaires a person's ability to think clearly. To make any sort of decision, like getting married, while in that state seems extremely foolish to me. That being said, if two people want to get married they should of course care about each other, it seems also foolish to get married why someone you have no affection for. But since "being in love" is temporary, maybe marriage should be based on some other form of affection, like friendship. Friendship doesn't die as easily as "love". As i see it, marriage could be like a deal with a friend.