sexual orientation confusion
I've always been confused about my orientation myself. When I was younger and for many years I figured I was straight. My peers, except those from college, thought I was gay. I denied. For years I wanted a girlfriend. I was in a relationship when I was 19/20 that only last 6 to 7 months. We were just friends after that. I broke up because I was in college, and she was back home so it was kind of a long distance relationship. Also, having a girlfriend didn't really fit into my life at that time. After college I was still hoping to find a girl. As normal, relationships didn't materialize very easily. I was confused about who I was and what I wanted. I was growing up in a small isolated town pre-internet. Close relationships/friendship with girls seemed to come and go in cycles for me. First in 1986, then in 1995. then in 2003. back then I figured based on the pattern the next would happen in 2010. For most of my life I realized that I had no sexual interest in girls. There was no feels of lust, only envy. I think I have it figured out now. I would most likely identity as asexual, but desire to have friendships with girls, because I feel more comfortable around then than with guys. The type of relationship I seek would be more like that between a girl and gay guy.
I don't really know what to say. It's something you've just got to figure out for yourself. Just try not to let it tear you up inside. Gay people have to deal with certain issues, particularly homophobia in the world, but it's not something that should cause personal crisis. If you're attracted to women, get together with women. If you're attracted to men, get together with men. Only you can figure out who you are.
So you would rather just have a friend or a room mate
Totally understand. I'm going through a huge sexual identity crisis at the moment.
I guess I just have to second Jory - try not to stress. You're you, a person, you don't have to identify as gay, straight, bi, asexual, whatever. You can just accept things may be taking a while to work out, and should you be attracted to someone or fall in love, you can choose to treat it as just that - attraction or love, rather than letting it define you until you feel comfortable doing so (if you ever want to do so!).
Best of luck.
You know, I believe that most people are naturally born bisexual but due to culture most people act and think in heterosexual ways.
Just think about ancient Greece as an example. It wouldn't make sense to think that most Greeks where bisexuals due to genetics because if that were true there would be countries having 50% of LGBT persons but that is not the case. For this reason, the Greeks were only having men-men sex due to their culture. So it means that they could get sexual attraction and emotional attraction (for some of them) with male naturally. Therefore I believe that we are all mostly bisexual naturally but most people choose a side either from culture, from psychological reasons or purely from being naturally more attracted to one sex.
richardbenson
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