Physical and Sexual Attraction

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After seeing the asexuality thread here on WP, I've been wondering if I fall into the asexual or grey-A area of the spectrum. I've always thought that my lack of desire for sex was due to my age and the fact that I've not yet been in a relationship, but I'm now unsure. I certainly feel physical attraction in the sense that hugging and kissing and things of that nature appeals to me, but nothing 'further' so to speak.

I was wondering if anyone else has or has had this and what their experiences have been with it.

I recognize myself in this. Feeling attraction without sexual thoughts. I probably would even dislike kissing/hugging because I don't usually want people to touch me, although I'm not really sure about that because I've never kissed/hugged somebody in a romantic way.

I can relate to a degree. I'm not completely uninterested in sex, but my interest in sex is nowhere near as strong as my interest in hugging, kissing, and (oh Jesus I hate this word) cuddling. I've told people before that "amorous" describes me better than "horny." Sex is nice, but I would rather lay on a couch with a guy, watching TV for hours with my arm wrapped around him and my face buried in his neck or chest.

I can relate to this to. I think I might be gray-A but I use the phrase borderline asexual

At 16, I think it's a little early to know that for sure. In fact, I wouldn't pigeon-hole myself if I were you. Just be you, be as sexual as you want or need to be....leave the labels for later when you're trying to sort through the wreckage

You make an excellent point.

Mine is that so few people tickle my fancy.

I'll tickle it for you.

As with many labels, realising that you're not a lone freak is often comforting.

i'm a gray-A myself; i prefer to just cuddle up and spend time in her arms over actual intercourse.
i'm not against it though, not at all, i just usually dont feel the need to

Lack of desire for sex has to be differentiated from lack of sexual attraction to either sex, that being the definition of asexuality,
whereas the former can be resultant of stress, different life stages, medications, or hormonal disorders.

Oh, my.

I do not like that definition for asexuality because people can love sex & still not experience sexual attraction. For example someone who's blind can not experience attraction due to not having vision to see yet they can still feel a need to have sex. Others can experience attraction & not want to have sex at all. I think asexuality should be defined as lack of desire to have sex instead because it would make a lot more sense. AVEN says that some asexuals can experience aesthetic attraction & some can have sex drives & even fetishes but they don't have the desire to act on them. That sounds like lack of desire to have sex instead of lack of sexual attraction to me

Urm. That is precisely the difference I highlighted- love for/indifference to sex =/= presence/lack of sexual attraction
Sight is but one of many senses involved with sexual attraction, actually, not all of them even being physical at all. I can assure you that despite a lack of sight, the vast majority of blind people experience sexual attraction.

Those would be run of the mill homosexuals, bisexuals, etc- the desire to engage in the act is on a separate axis.

It should be defined in an analogous way with the other words it connotes, those being -sexuality, modified by a prefix identifying the sex of people one is attracted to. To assert it should refer not to something different along that axis, but to a completely different one is a bit silly, and confusing to boot.

The opposite, actually.
Indifference to sex can be applied to any orientation-
the discussion is a lack of ATTRACTION in the first place.

Notice none of those things involve sexual attraction to another person.
I guess you haven't visited the site in a while, or maybe you missed this bit, in all-caps, at the top of the homepage:
"Asexual: A person who does not experience sexual attraction."
AVEN

See above. "Asexuality" refers to an orientation, not every person on Earth with DIFFERENT orientations who can't be bothered with engaging in sex for a myriad of reasons. A heterosexual with depression is exactly that, as-is a red state homosexual, a pansexual dedicated to graduate school over finding sex partners, etc. None of those are asexuality.
You are conflating orientation or lack thereof with desire to engage in an act or lack thereof.

Lack of sexual attraction does NOT make sense to me. I was NOT sexualy attracted to anyone in my life & I had a very high desire for sex as as teen due to a physical urge. My point is that someone can have a high desire for sex & NOT experience sexual attraction or any kind attraction at all. One of the main things about asexuality is that asexuals are people who don't want to have sex or at least that's the impression I've seen on AVEN & Ace-Book from people using the label. Someone having a desire for sex would NOT be welcome in the asexual community but by using the definition of lack of sexual attraction they could still fall under the asexuality label

I don't know what's so confusing about it:
hetero-sexual: different-sex oriented attration
homo-sexual: same-sex oriented attraction
bi-sexual: Both/two-sex oriented attraction
a-sexual: no-sex oriented attraction

Those are what those prefixes mean and have meant for quite some time.
It refers to sex, not gender. And yes, that person would be an asexual zoophile.
And I doubt, from what I've read from you before, that you did not experience (sexual) attraction to females (doesn't have to be someone specific), as opposed to neither sex. Not to say that orientation isn't fluid, but I doubt it in this instane.

Which is precisely why orientation and desire for sex are two separate questions, ergo my point.

Both sexuals and asexuals can enjoy sex.
Both sexuals and asexuals can be indifferent to sex.
Both sexuals and asexuals can be repulsed by sex.
It is clear, then, that what differentiates sexuals and asexuals is NOT anything to do with how much they enjoy or desire sex.
I don't know which AVEN members you've spoken with, but most of them get that, and have instinctively since they were quite young, before there even was such a thing as AVEN.

Several of my friends on AVEN are partners and friends of asexuals, and enlightening discussions are held there every day in effort to understand one another, just as NT's are highly-visible here.
That's aside from the asexuals who do desire sex, but don't experience sexual attraction.
You're simply spewing.
You don't know the first thing of what you're talking about, in truth.

Um, yes. That's my point. The fact that sexual orientation/desire for sex being two separate axes of human sexuality personally-irritates you isn't really a substantive refutation of the fact that the label "asexuality" is in perfect analogue with "homosexuality", and "bisexuality", etc, in that it refers to attraction.

Here, I'll sum up the confusion:

Me: Orientation =/= drive for/enjoyment of/pursuit of sex
You: Well that's wrong, cuz then Orientation =/= drive for/enjoyment of/pursuit of sex. I don't like that!
Me: ....