feeling part female/part male=aspie girl trait???

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jojobean
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20 Aug 2011, 10:45 pm

I have read in aspergirls....great book, btw! that it is not uncommon for females of the spectrum to feel part female/part male.

I felt this way my whole life...I thought it was just me being ever so weird as I am, but apparently it is common with us. In some way it feels great to feel validated, in other ways...at some level, I feel like more of a set of traits than a person. I am feel like I am ASD, not Jojo in some ways.

Many of the things I thought that made me unique...just happen to be aspie girl traits.

So what do you think?
Do you feel the same when you understand the difference between girl and guy ASD's?

what about the part female/part male thing??
How many of you feel that way too??

Jojo


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Megz
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20 Aug 2011, 11:38 pm

When I first started learning a lot about AS, I felt the same way, that I was no longer a unique individual, but just a bunch of ASD traits. Now I'm starting to realize that I am still a unique individual because of my values and my experiences et cetera. I hope you get to that point too.

I also get the part male/part female feeling. Like to the point where I have to think for a second which bathroom I'm supposed to go in at school or whatever, which makes absolutely no logical sense, I don't understand why I do that. When I was maybe 10 or 12 I watched a show on the Discovery Health channel about transgender people and I thought it was really interesting. I thought maybe that was what I was feeling, that I'm actually a male mind with a female body, but that never quite fit either. So I guess I'm just androgynous. I don't have this gender identity stuff all worked out yet. :shrug:



conundrum
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21 Aug 2011, 12:36 am

Megz wrote:
Now I'm starting to realize that I am still a unique individual because of my values and my experiences et cetera. I hope you get to that point too.


Seconded.

Think about it this way: there is a finite number of elements, but they can be combined in MANY (infinite?) ways to create a myriad of different types of molecules. The ASD traits we have also combine in many ways to make each of us a completely unique individual, different from everyone else.

I also understand the male/female thing. Always have. I never thought it really "mattered," and wondered why everyone always made such a big deal out of it. Meeting my bf enabled me to embrace my "feminine side" a bit more, but my "masculine side" is still very much an important part of me, and I wouldn't have it any other way. :D


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Ani
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21 Aug 2011, 3:13 pm

This is actually a very common aspergirl trait. Here is a list of female asperger symptoms: http://help4aspergers.com/pb/wp_a58d4f6a/wp_a58d4f6a.html

This trait is described in the first column, about halfway down.

I know that I wanted very badly to be a boy most of my childhood. I still envy men in a lot of ways, and I am and always have been a huge tomboy. However, I always valued my femininity and the unique qualities of women. I LOVED Tamora Pierce's books because they were all about women proving that they could be as strong and skilled as men but still retain the essential qualities of womenhood.

I think a lot of it is that I can't deal with a lot of the seemingly frivolous aspects of modern femininity. I HATE girly-girls; hate feeling like I have to shave, put on makeup, have a huge wardrobe with a million cute outfits, etc; in order to fulfill the modern idea of what a woman is. I mostly hang out with dudes cuz it is chiller and guys do way more fun, physical stuff!

But at heart I am a woman, and there are times when it is nice just to embrace my feminine aspect. Particularly in romantic situations.



Mummy_of_Peanut
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21 Aug 2011, 4:20 pm

I was combing my daughter's hair this morning, trying to put it into a ponytail, in an attempt to prevent her getting headlice for a 4th time. Anyway, it wasn't quite right and I was re-doing it. My daughter said, 'Mummy, why are you always trying to make me look nice. Life isn't about looking nice. Life is about living.' I thought, wow, how true, this 5yr old could teach the world a thing or two (but I still want her hair to look tidy). This is one of many differences I see between us and most other females. Metrosexual men just freak me out, for spending more time in a week, beautifying themselves, than I would do in a whole year.

Anyway, in response to the OP, the feeling of being part-female/ part-male applies to both my daughter and I. As a child, I didn't want to be a girl. I'm hetero, married, not trans, but when I dream, I'm usually male. My daughter has often said she doesn't think she's a girl and that she has a boy's voice. She has one female friend, the rest of the kids she plays with are boys and she seems to fit right in with them. She only has one friend at school (a boy).



Megz
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05 Sep 2011, 3:40 pm

smudge wrote:
apparently deleted....

I don't know if you'll find this helpful, but I just took this test (click) a few days ago and I found it helpful to know that it's not just my imagination. Here's my test results:
Quote:
Your Raw Score is: 360, which indicates that overall you are Androgynous
Your appearance is Feminine
Your brain processes are mostly that of an Androgynous person.
You appear to socialize in an androgynous manner.
You believe you have major conflicts about your gender identity.
You indicated you were born Female.
ANALYSIS:
Female to Male Crossdresser
NOTES:
• Your Answers indicate your psychological state has likely prevailed since you were quite young.
• You are in a statistical minority as an anallophilic crossdresser. Most crossdressers are heterosexual. Your motivation for crossdressing may be driven by the undirected nature of your sexuality, as a way to more fully explore the Male gender role.



mb1984
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05 Sep 2011, 6:47 pm

This is my score

Your Raw Score is: -400, which indicates that overall you are Androgynous

Your appearance is Androgynous

Your brain processes are mostly that of a Male person.

You appear to socialize in a masculine manner.

You believe you have major conflicts about your gender identity.

You indicated your were born Female.

ANALYSIS:
Female to Male Transsexual, who is a serious candidate for Gender Reassignment Surgery
NOTES:

Your Answers indicate your psychological state has likely prevailed since you were quite young.


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