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Xenabaiche
Butterfly
Butterfly

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Joined: 5 Jun 2011
Age: 33
Gender: Female
Posts: 12
Location: Halifax

26 Aug 2011, 2:44 pm

I've really been freaking myself out lately. My sister in law (whom i never met or talked to before) has multiple personalities really bad, and my husband thinks i may have one too.

I know somethings wrong with me, but I dont know what. It actually seems like I have two personalities. One, which is who I really am, is nice, happy-go-lucky, kind, generous, loving, non smoker, loves god, straight, loves my husband, wants to have a family, go to university, etc....

The other one is COMPLETELY opposite. I dont consider it as me, because it isnt. This person is a cold hearted b*tch. All she feels is rage, hate, and worthlessness. She wants to leave my husband because she is a lesbian, she wants nothing to do with religion, she has totally different beleifs from me, she wants to raise hell, gets in fights with guys, etc. She wants to hurt people really badly.

I remember most of what is going on when its back to me, but I have no control over any of it.

I had a rough childhood. My dad was abusive to my mom until they divorced when I was 3. I got molested by my babysitter who is a girl around the age of 7. My stepdad hit me when I wad 5 until I was 15. I was raped when I was 16 and then got into drugs. I stopped for a year and a half while dating this guy who was physically and emotionally abusive. I finally dumped him at age 18. Then I got raped again by my best friend when I was 18. Got into more drugs a bit, but now I've been clean since Feb of 2010. I don't know if any of this would mean anything if I was a multiple or not?

Does that sound like multiple personalities? It's damaging our marriage, but thankfully he knows and puts up with it. I'm really scared that this personality might hurt or even kill someone? :S

ps, I'm waiting to see a psychiatrist.



Melpomene
Raven
Raven

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Joined: 5 Aug 2011
Age: 35
Gender: Female
Posts: 119
Location: Veldhoven, The Netherlands

27 Aug 2011, 3:08 am

I can't imagine what you're going through, you must be so scared. Having been through so much as a child and adolescent must have been horrible. You should be proud of yourself for how far you've come.

As far as the multiple personalities go, how do you experience your other personality? Do you remember everything that happens when you slip into your other identity? Can you remember things about yourself when you're your other self? The reason I ask is that those who suffer from Multiple Personality Disorder (or Dissociative Identity Disorder as it's also known) often have gaps in their memory when they switch personalities. A lack of control doesn't necessarily imply that you have multiple personalities: a lot of people do and say things they don't mean to when they are extremely angry or under a lot of stress. It's impossible to diagnose your condition from here, and I'm glad you're waiting to see a psychiatrist. They will undoubtedly be able to better figure out what's going on.

You seem to have a lot of insight in what's going on in your life. You might not understand exactly what's happening, but you can look at it honestly, as far as I can judge. I wish you all the best and hope you are receive help as quickly as possible.