women have it harder(coming from a male)

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I'm not heartless SadAspy. You simply choose to see me that way because you sculpt your perception to fit your ideas. I could be Mother Theresa and you would conveniently overlook my acts of kindness.

I will, however, defend myself when attacked, whether I be attacked directly or generally, and ever since I have come to this forum I have been subject to attacks entirely unprovoked on my part, on the basis that I am a woman.

I did not come here with bitterness towards men, and write hostile, angry, slanderous posts about men in general, despite the fact that I've been treated rather poorly by some men with regards to dating in the past.

You will never find me doing that because the truth is, I accept that there are good people in the world and bad people in the world, and their sex has nothing to do with it. I also fully accept the fact that I have Asperger's Syndrome and everything that entails.

I will be honest with you, and I've said this before; It used to upset me when a man I found attractive didn't want anything to do with me, or people I wanted to be friends with didn't want to be friends with me. I thought they *should* want to associate with me because I was nice, honest, faithful and accepting person. But no matter how much I tried, it seemed I always fell short and there was always some other girl he was interested in, who was either prettier, more graceful, or less socially awkward or weird than me...usually all of the above.

I was not what they were looking for because they were wired to look for essentially NT girls and I am not NT.

What are my options? Date someone I am not attracted to? I have Asperger's Syndrome, I get stressed in social situations and so whoever I partner with I must be completely
compatible with or I won't be able to deal with it. Create an NT alter ego for dating? But how long can I keep that up? About 2 months.....one month before I want to violently smash my head into a wall repeatedly. Eventually either I'll have a nervous breakdown or he'll figure out he got duped and leave. Hate the world for not being more accepting of people with Asperger's Syndrome? That's completely futile.

I do not blame a man I find attractive when he does not want to date me because I know he is looking for a woman that I can't be, due to inherent aspects of my physical self, or my personality and neurological makeup. I also know he has no control over who he finds attractive. That has been hardwired into him through evolution. How can I hate someone for something that is beyond their control?

That would be like someone hating me for something that's beyond my control, like having Asperger's Syndrome, and demanding I "just be normal", as if I could magically snap my fingers and think and operate like an NT.

I'm just not the woman he wants. I can't be the woman he wants, ok, fine, I'll just keep looking.

Sure, I might never find someone. But I've come to accept in life that I'm not a normal individual and some paths in life that seem to exist for everyone else just don't exist for me. And you know what? I can live with that. I've missed out on so many things I would have liked the opportunity to experience already and I'm still alive.

+1,000,000

Extremely well said, as usual.

Sticky!

@SadAspy I hope that you can eventually realize the mistake you are making by blaming women for your own trouble and that you are able to eventually find someone once you´ve dropped the attitude

Maybe if a woman or white knight here actually came up with a legitimate argument, I would consider it. Instead, it's just shaming language.

As for my attitude, for the 993,563,147th time, I used to not have an attitude. What was the reason for my multiple rejections then?

Maybe if a woman or white knight here actually came up with a legitimate argument, I would consider it. Instead, it's just shaming language.

As for my attitude, for the 993,563,147th time, I used to not have an attitude. What was the reason for my multiple rejections then?

While I think that chronos posts is quite impressive and extremely well written we cant sticky a post on its own and we have to sticky full threads.
If she wishes she can open a new thread and paste this post and we could sticky it.

Several members have tried to help you and given up on this issue due to the fact that you were attacking anyone that was trying to help you.

What did you do?, you tried to humiliate the person that rejected you without listening to her reasons for rejecting you.

LOL....what help? Tellling me I have a bad attitude? That's help?.

When someone is attacking those that are trying to help him(as you just admitted to do by avoiding the part of my post about it) they need to change their attitude if they want to go somewhere so telling you that you need to loose the attitude is our attempt of helping you.


As for what happened with her you shall receive a pm from me about it as soon as Im done with exams(that would be mid thursday/early friday).

Edit: wasnt aware that she shouldnt be brought up will avoid doing so in future posts.

Wrong. I tried to stay friends, and she admitted she was rejecting me on looks.

..that's not what I heard.

When someone is attacking those that are trying to help him(as you just admitted to do by avoiding the part of my post about it) they need to change their attitude if they want to go somewhere so telling you that you need to loose the attitude is our attempt of helping you.


As for what happened with her you shall receive a pm from me about it as soon as Im done with exams(that would be mid thursday/early friday).

Edit: wasnt aware that she shouldnt be brought up will avoid doing so in future posts.