Working with women who discuss their periods?
As a gay man, I find it disgusting.
As a prude and a boss, I find it inappropriate. I'm not sure if I can complain, or if my complaint would be construed as harassment!
One of my employees asked if she could get the other staff member to wait for a moment while she went to the restroom (this was where I felt the statement should have ended) because she was "on her period and bleeding like crazy." This seemed unnecessary, and I asked her not to discuss her period in front of me, and reminded her that her graphic description wasn't appropriate.
She's been a little peeved at me lately. She turned to me and said "I'm going to bleed period blood and shove a tampon in myself."
Is it really ok for women to discuss these things in mixed company, especially if I've expressed that it makes me uncomfortable? I really, really hate when women do this, and my last problem employee who was female also intentionally expressed similar things. Can I say anything to my bosses?
If they are in mixed company then no, I do not feel it's appropriate to have such discussions or make such comments in the workplace when men are present.
I do not think women would appreciate men talking about prostate problems or erectile dysfunction in the workplace. I would consult with human resources on the best way to handle this, if your company has an HR department.
I'm straight but consider it completely inappropriate to discuss bodily functions at the workplace or in other social situations. Such utterances reflect a very low level.
Every statement that goes beyond the purely functional (e.g., asking for a restroom break), is superfluous. Furthermore, it's very vulgar to describe details of an elimination process.
You should tell your bosses about the problem. Perhaps less from your personal viewpoint, but with emphasis on a good working atmosphere.
In principle I wouldn't like women to talk about these things in mixed company. But please note that she might have made more graphic on purpose because of what she thought of your response.
ummm. I have an aspie son and I see him at times saying something in his usual tactless style, and I understand what he is saying and may agree with him , but also understand that other people would be annyoed or insulted by the way he says it.
What I want to say is : You are the boss, but still there is a nice way, and a no-so-nice way to say something. From my own experience , I have seen what a smile and the word (please) can do even to the most stubborn people.
I'm less concerned about the "etiquette" of making the comment "I'm bleeding like crazy" by this particular employee. Some people are more laid back around this topic than others and I chalk it up to differences in personality.
However, I am MORE concerned that you specifically told the employee that this kind of talk makes you uncomfortable and she PURPOSELY used this kind of talk in order to PURPOSELY make you uncomfortable or intimidate you. It would not matter whether the subject was menstruation, the condition of one's prostate, or a graphic description of what sex act was engaged in one last night's hot date.
Don't get hung up on whether menstruation is particularly icky to you or anyone else. Keep your concerns to workplace harmony, respect among staff members and a "safe working environment (i.e. free of intimidation or harassment) for all.
Just MHO.
CR
As a woman, I wouldn't have said this in public or mixed company, and definitely not in a work environment. Maybe to another woman if we were close and not within ear shot of anyone else.
I wouldn't have said anything to her because comments like that sometimes result in silly repercussions and some people are easily offended (even if they're being offensive). However, I might start referring to her as "bloody snatch woman" in my mind.
Sweetleaf
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Joined: 6 Jan 2011
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 34,470
Location: Somewhere in Colorado
I honestly don't see why people care so much what people talk about. Just one of those wierd social rules I don't really get....I don't see why it is rude to burp at the table, talk about your period in front of a dude(provided they have not specifically expressed discomfort about the topic). I mean all females have a period when they reach a certain age its not some taboo secret. So I tend not to get those social rules.
Sure it's childish of her to tell you something like that to get a rise out of you, but NT's by nature will do something more often if they know it will get an emotional response out of you. Simply ignore it and let her go about her business and she will stop informing you about it. Periods are a fact of life, remember that next time you get all "EEEEEEEW" about it. Remember that a woman gave birth to you and you owe your life to that vicious bloody mess.
On the subject of you being a gay man, this has nothing to do with the matter at hand. Straight or Gay men don't want to hear about it just as much as the other. So leave your sexual preference out of the equation unless it is immediately relevant. My brother in law and best friend are both gay, so don't bother saying I'm homophobic or discriminatory against homosexuality.
On the subject of it being (in)appropriate for the workplace, it depends on the context IMHO. Perhaps she initially said she was bleeding like crazy to give you a not so subtle hint that she wasn't going to use the restroom to blow off work, and only pursued it further because you made it abundantly clear that it bothered you. Remember as well that giving your boss the "He said/She said" routine, is something third graders would do and, won't net you any bonus points and only opens you up to retaliation if you do something that makes her upset. It's a give/take scenario and you should just take it at face value, she's being immature by looking to get a rise out of you, move along.
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I wouldn't have said anything to her because comments like that sometimes result in silly repercussions and some people are easily offended (even if they're being offensive). However, I might start referring to her as "bloody snatch woman" in my mind.
I agree and "bloody snatch woman"
I would have been just as disgusted. Personally someone "going for a wee" also seems a bit unprofessional for anyone that isn't a toddler.
Sweetleaf
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Joined: 6 Jan 2011
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 34,470
Location: Somewhere in Colorado
According to who?...I guess I just don't see why normal bodily functions are offensive, I mean I just really cannot wrap my mind around normal things that happen to most people being veiwed as offensive to discuss. Are natural body functions the new taboo or something? I don't know it just confuses me.
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