kath32982 wrote:
I am a classroom teacher of elementary students. I have a student on the spectrum in my classroom who was previously bullied. The school did a fabulous job and stopped the bullying and it has not resumed. The student has not forgotten about the bullying and every time the offending student says something to him, he takes it as the student is making fun of him. Are there any suggestions to help my student on the spectrum?
First of all, I appreciate the fact that you came here out of concern for doing your best as the previously-bullied student's teacher! Not many would bother to do that.
I was bullied severely in elementary school (Los Angeles, CA public schools). There were a number of contributing factors for the bullying; in fact I might describe it as the "perfect storm". I was a foot taller than my peers, and adding to that physical anomaly, my mother had been in the US Air Force stationed in West Germany for 12 years, and thus dressed me like a little German boy in West Los Angeles. I was a veritable freak show. All of the above, combined with high functioning autism, and (God willing) a higher I.Q., made me the bullies' target of the century.
There was nothing in place at that time to combat bullying; leaving only two options: Run away, or fight physically. I did not do the latter, and honestly I can't look back and say that I did the right thing by that. Having the school, the teachers, and even the bullies' parents approached on my behalf, probably only furthered the bullies' quest to get to me. So fast-forwarding 35 years to your situation, I would hope that perhaps somehow, the bullies and your student, could be brought together to form some sort of dialogue. It's my guess, that once the bullies are understanding of the autism issue, they might lay off since it might make them cowards in front of their fellow bullies, to be known to pick on a "handicapped" kid. I don't know if that would work, but it's all I can come up with that's politically OK today. If this were 1972, I'd tell you to send the kid to self-defense class, and then lay the first kid who makes a snide remark, out cold on the floor. That would definitely work, but obviously we can't do that in today's environment.
To sum up, I don't see the theory of keeping the student under a protective umbrella of policy or sanctioning, as being successful in the long run. In one way or another, your student must learn to fend off the bullying somehow himself, and build the confidence he needs to maintain that. Long after I was out of school, bullying is still an issue for me, but it's now in an adult form (i.e. controlling people, or those who can't refrain from making judgmental and belittling observations of any achievements I may share). But as an adult, I have learned to identify bullies before letting them worm their way into my life, and I lock them out. And I suppose the fact that I'm a 6 foot, 200-lb bodybuilder with tattoos and large piercings, and wearing size 15EE boots, helps prevent any physical bullying.
Please keep us informed with any progress and success in this!
Charles
19 Sep 2011, 2:44 am
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