Making someone else tell something for you- Autism thing?

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twich
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26 Sep 2011, 1:33 am

Hey all,

I don't do this, but my younger sister does, we're pretty certain she's got autism. She will say things like "Tell Mummy that I hurt my knee at school today" While my Mum is sitting in the same room with us, or "Are you going to tell Mummy?" and expecting me to tell her about it even though my sister is COMPLETELY capable of relaying such information. Is this something other verbal autists do? I've known non- verbal and aspies, but that's it. We're wondering if that's an autistic trait, or if it's just her being her.

Any input would be awesome, thanks.



liveandletdie
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26 Sep 2011, 2:11 am

i don't know never done or heard someone do that....just reminds me of when some couples get mad and they are not speaking.
sometimes people speak for me because i'm too slow with a response or my response was not adequate in their eyes.....
but i don't think i'v ever told someone to speak for me.


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Mayel
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26 Sep 2011, 2:35 am

My father does this a lot. He will say e.g. "tell your brother what happened to me today" although my brother is right there and there seems to be no barrier in doing so and maybe he even heard it already anyway.He's also never angry when he does this. (Usually people do this when angry).
My father also repeats words and sentences he's heard somewhere a lot, thus for some sentences he'll begin to say them but then wants somebody to finish them for him (given the person is acquainted with his phrases) or he'll have some routine where he wants somebody to say certain sayings.

I always wondered why that is?



ToughDiamond
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26 Sep 2011, 6:17 am

I suppose it could be. Many Aspies are not very confident of being able to explain things, so it makes sense to get somebody else to do the explaining instead. I don't usually delegate it myself, because it doesn't usually occur to me that there's anybody else there who could do the job for me (one of my failings is that I tend to try to do everything myself instead of asking for help), but I can see the merit of the idea, as I usually make a pig's ear of telling people anything, and even when I get it right, it's a stressful experience. The only time I delegated was when I was a teenager and I fancied a girl.......I was too scared to explain it myself to the girl, so I got a "friend" to do it for me. It was a total waste of time. For one thing I broke the rule "never display shyness towards a girl you're after," and for another thing the guy didn't have my best interests at heart, so he didn't put in a good word for me, but pretty much agreed with the girl that I was an inferior. :x



twich
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26 Sep 2011, 9:42 pm

Thanks guys!

She doesn't do it when she's angry, and it's not a confidence thing- She's definitely not an aspie. Half the time she'll say things like "Are you going to tell twich?" and when asked what she wants them to tell, she will say "that I get to use my purple cup today," to our Mum or her Dad, and I'll be sitting right there and can hear it. This is only an example, it's a very common thing we've been trying to break from her. I refuse to tell them something she can tell herself (Aspie stubbornness?) and if my parents are in the situation, they usually say things like "I just heard it, they don't need to tell me."

It's good to hear from others, I'm glad for WP :)



TB_Samurai
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26 Sep 2011, 10:55 pm

This is something I do. If me and my dad see one of the dogs do something funny, instead of me telling her, I ask my dad to tell her what the dog did.



Joe90
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27 Sep 2011, 5:24 am

It can be something what some Aspies do. I've always been like this. I've always been afraid of asking people something face-to-face. I'm OK when they're talking about a subject what's relavent to what I want to ask. I can just quickly slip it in. But when I'm not sure when to find the right time and I suddenly ask, I always feel embarrassed.


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YellowBanana
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27 Sep 2011, 8:34 am

I used to do this a lot as a child, and I still do it sometimes.
I don't know why.


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viera
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27 Sep 2011, 9:09 am

No, but I mess up when I am explaining something. it comes out all scattered so people do the re-explaining after me anyway.