Anyone ever feel like running away from their normal life?

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jinto1986
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05 Oct 2011, 12:34 am

I am so very tired right now... and I just need to get away from the real world, even for a day, but my brain keeps me in check far too much. I have a meeting Thursday to see if my college will let me continue student teaching (I failed last time). Even if they let me continue another professional mistake might get me kicked out... and I am an aspie who can't get any sort of help, well at least not from those who know about Asperger's. The irony of course is there, I am doing nothing right now... and I am still very tired from all this stress of doing nothing.

Beyond that my finances are way lower than they should be, largely because of the student teaching. I spent like 250 dollars last month on it, and went like 350 over budget in all. Part of that was I ate out a few too many times, but the gas I am spending on getting back and forth to a job that doesn't pay (in fact a job I have to pay for) is probably around 50 dollars of that. I just kept saying to myself, "I need this or I will fail student teaching", then I go and fail anyway. I might have to get a part time job that does pay to be able to continue with the full time job that doesn't. This making about 70-80 hours I have to work (60 in student teaching 10-20 in part time job), granted just for 8 weeks. Then there is the fact that it is hard to find a job... that will hire an aspie... who can only work basically after 7 PM (before 10) and weekends. Either that or ask my parents for another 1000 dollar loan come late December to pay for January rent (I should be okay after that... maybe).

Then I discover today, any services that are for aspie adults, that you can actually get into and they don't try to force you into a job, are way too expensive for me to afford. I know I have issues, but I can't do anything about them. No friends, no girlfriends, etc. I can't go on like this forever!

This past Sunday I went and hung out with this local mom of an aspie and her family. I so wished it could be permanant and I just always live there. I wouldn't have to worry about what to eat, and how I will afford it. I wouldn't have to be alone all the time. I wouldn't have to worry about getting a part time job. I could just focus all my energy (and maybe a bit more of her advice, she does have her teaching degree though she doesn't work in the field yet) into passing this stupid student teaching placement. But I know it is not meant to be, she doesn't even live locally enough to make it feasible.



vivreestesperer
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05 Oct 2011, 12:38 am

I'm so sorry to hear about all that you are going through. Student teaching can definitely be stressful. I am sorry you didn't pass. I hope things get better!



jinto1986
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Joined: 28 Sep 2011
Age: 38
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05 Oct 2011, 1:19 am

Just curious, do you speak from experience? It might be nice to be able to talk to an aspie/aspie parent about this whole teaching as an aspie thing.