I may be living at a mental hospital later this year

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My brother was just in one last year for a few weeks. I visited him and thought it's really pretty nice there, kinda like a break. I probably wouldn't mind, as long as I can ban visitors. ( My mom visited him everyday and I could hardly tolerate being with her for half an hour, not to mention several hours a day.) But then my brother might have liked it. He's not aspie after all.

They lock away his wallet and keys and IDs. Beware of that. Try to remember all your online password to sites that you want to visit. I don't know what facilities they have, bring some running shoes or swim pants for exercises. You don't want to just sit there and eat and end up gaining 20 lbs. Those anti-psychosis drugs are notorious for their weight gain side effects.

Phonic, your profile says you're 19, but not where you are. I think even the state of the US that you're in would make a big difference. I believe that the Children's Hospital here in Kansas, at Parsons, would be a really nice place for you to be: that's where the lady Doc diagnosed me. I didn't see any patient rooms or anything, but the whole place looks clean and pleasant and there are lots of nice lounges and meeting rooms. A teenager came in and interrupted us while she was working with me, and he was very nice and civilized and didn't seem cowed or upset or anything, just not savvy enough to know not to interrupt people, and she was very nice and patient with him, treating him with respect. I don't think it was "put on" for my benefit. Main problem would be I think you "age out" of there at age 18. I'd hope it might be 21, though. A couple of people I knew did their Practicum there years ago, and while they didn't talk about it much, they also weren't shocked and didn't have any horror stories to spill on my shoulders. I hope you're in the right place to get one like it.

I'm looking forward to OrangeCloud to explain what he means by this comment. I find this comment quite rude and insensitive...

//Arash

Rude, insensitive, ignorant... and several other things. Bipolar is not the kind of thing that most people can just "get their act together and get over their problems." It's how their brain works, like autism. You can't shut it off or will it away or just decide to behave differently. It's ridiculous to even suggest.

As far as it goes, I've seen Phonic's other thread, and it seems like the problem is more Phonic's doctor didn't take Phonic seriously enough.

So many people think they're experts on mental illness, and yet have so little, such primitive understanding.

The consultants and SpRs on the wards I've been on have been great. The student nurses are usually good too. But some of the nurses can be horrible too.

I've been to NHS hospitals (as I live in London) and in my opinion they're chronically underfunded. I don't know what hospitals are like the US.

Adolescent wards are much "nicer" than adult wards. When I have been sectioned under the Mental Health Act 1983 (google it) many times in the past, and got sent to the general adult ward, I felt quite imprisoned, and I spent 80% of the day in my room, and 20% of the day in the dining room or being coerced into group activities (er, hello, I'm autistic!) which I usually ended up walking out of. However when the police dragged me off to the secure unit, there was a nurse:patient ratio of 1:1 so the interaction was much improved. And I was liked by the nurses too.

The good thing about the adult wards though is that my intelligence was respected (the nurses and doctors used to test me out on my medical/pharmacololgical knowledge, which was always great fun). On the adolescent ward I felt like I was being treated a bit like a baby or a young child.

Using it in jest is a parody of it



I am no longer delusional and someone with mania can most certainly tell that they are manic, I asked this at a bipolar forum and got a unaminous reply that they recognise it.



I wish it were like that but the Irish healthcare system doesn't work like that, I checked. me going to a bed in a mental hospital was what was desirable at one point but even someone who is an immidiate danger to themselve has to wake weeks before they get a bed. ANd i'm pretty sure the UK system is similar. It doesn't matter how severe you are, as long as you're not breaking laws you stay where you are and wait for your application.

And heres something you shouldn't question people on when they say it: I am seriously mentally ill, I know I sound very eleqount and such but I'm not even allowed outdoors anymore because I've become an unintentional danger to myself, I'm also at high risk of being brought in my police since even my hypomania can appear as drug induced.





let's sum up where the confusion was:

When I was explaining my psychotic mania, I was explaining it after the fact it happened and based on what others told me I was like during. And i have my own memories of it, the peice itself was written during a foray into coherence (like this peice)

You also made a point that if I'm not already in a mental hospital then maybe I'm not severe enough, but it's a very very slow system in ireland, it's barbaric, horrible and inhumane but..there you have it. My current shrink seems to believe it will be the best way to pursue a dx of bipolar type 1.

They just haven't got the time to deal with someone like me, this clinic I go to is for people with stuff like mild depression, anxiety and such, my shrink just things a hospital is the best place to get help given how serious this has become.

I got in the habit of using the term "looney bin" after reading Kate Millett's book "The Looney Bin Trip".

Sibyl, I'm in Ireland but thanks for the thought anyway.

This doctor whose sent my application for hospitalisation is the same one who was very doubtful at first, but then I put my writing skills to bare and wrote out exactly why he was incorrect, why my prevous head shrink was wrong and write that if my mania persists (on and off, mostly on) for another 5 days I will pursue diagnoses. he took this al ot more seriously perhaps because when I originally explained it to him I was not clear, i sounded foolish. He said I wrote it all down very well and he suddenly seemed a lot more open about me having bipolar.

Oh, and in other news
my disability allowence has been refused, my family is helping me appeal it.
I've been given a benzo a day since my sunday now, I suspect it's the only thing keeping me from becoming psychotic again.



reminder to all; I'm Irish and our system is based on the UK's, both in form and quality.

A little more than a month ago, I spent a week on the general adult ward at Sewickley Valley Hospital. I took myself in after getting a flat tire on my way to commit suicide (NO JOKE-- basic auto repair is one of my special interests, by the time the tire got changed I was too satisfied to kill myself but knew it would be back in a few days so I drove to the ER and 201'ed myself).

One of the best decisions I've made in the last year. I LOVED the hospital. I am no longer suicidal and know I don't need to be there, but if I did not have 3 kids and a spouse that need me and a problem with taking up resources that are more needed by others I would go back and stay forever. That week was one of the happiest, most secure, most comfortable, most peaceful times of my life.

I met some very cool people. It was the most non-judgmental atmosphere I've ever been in. I want to go back but I know that's not fair. They need the bed space for someone in crisis.

I will always remember three things: The look of gratitude on this schizophrenic woman's (girl really-- she was in her early 20s but mildly to moderately ret*d, on the mental level of about a 12-year-old) face when she said she was scared because demons were chasing her and I said that I didn't see any but I'd sit down with her and wait for help to come just in case. The way she smiled when I wrote her name on a crappy composition book and gave it to her to do her drawing in. The wonderful rainy Friday we spent playing game after game after game of Sorry! and telling each other stupid jokes.

She said no one had ever just treated her like that. I thought, "If it takes a severely depressed Aspie to just do this stuff, then the crazy people are out there!"

The rules were clear and simple. The structure was clear and simple. There was plenty of time to do everything, I got to choose my meals from a limited menu that never changed, and there was no one waiting to judge me for making a mistake. Someone else managed everything, and all I had to do was listen and think about what I needed to not be so sick any more. I could stop worrying about "acting OK" so I wouldn't end up committed!! !!

Bring something to read and a deck of cards. Bring a notebook without wire binding and something to write with. Wear shoes with no laces and a couple changes of comfortable clothes. Bring your basic personal hygiene supplies-- toothbrush, toothpaste, deodorant, hairbrush. Bring socks. Leave all your valuables at home.

It sounds like you're already bringing a good attitude. Don't be afraid to tell them what you think and to advocate for yourself. Take care of yourself-- just like anywhere else, don't give out your home address to someone you've just met-- but approach people with an open mind. Enjoy some down time in a peaceful environment where you are protected from all the crazies running around out here!! !

My intention was to refer to the past tense, since he seems to be taking you seriously now. I am sorry that was unclear.



Glad the benzos are helping. Hope you get your disability allowance approved.

Nope I've decided not to take them since I don't want this high to end, I just can't go back to the low. not never again.

If this is bipolar, there is no way to permanently stay in the high. It feels great, yeah, but it won't stay that way.

Better to try and bring yourself somewhere stable with the help of medication than to wait for the inevitable low to follow.

I've actually heard this from other people I've known who were bipolar. Thing is the cycle always goes back to the low.

Sorry if I came across as offensive, it's just that I had a mental breakdown when I was about Phonics age and was nearly institutionalised myself. But I was just about able to recover enough in time to get everyone off my back. And now I am just finishing off my degree and doing much better, and I don't know where I would be if I had been institutionalized.

I'm not suggesting that you suddenly get rid of your bi-polar or aspergers. I know that this is impossible, just that you can give out an appearance of normality enough to get people off your back. (This is what I did.)

You seem like a sane and intelligent person to me, and although I think you could probably use alot of support, it would be a sad thing if you were institutionalized. These places are basically prisons were you are forcably drugged every day, and I was just suggesting that you do everything that you can to avoid being institutionalised.

I believe in disability payments. I believe in unemployment compensation. I mean, when there's 10% unemployment (higher if we count people working part-time who want to be working full-time), only seems right.

Phonic, I just want to say, as a baseline, 19 is a very difficult age. I remember when I was 19, my parent were highly critical that I didn't have a job, as if I could merely will a job. That was back in 1982 when there was an economic downturn, but no where near as bad as today's economic downturn.

I think school works better for those of us on the spectrum. I remember being appalled that after learning how to graph parabolas, learning how to write a research paper with references, etc, and none of this translated to a job.

I've spent a lot of time and effort pursuing writing and other artistic pursuits, and political activism. If I had to do it over again, I might have a high probability career track and then a high potential outcome track (like art). I might even pursue something like auto repair, hair design, or tattoo (these latter two, the repeat business or referral business is pretty directly related to how good a job you do). But all of this, or none of this, may or may not be your cup of tea. I compliment SteelMaiden for going into pharmacology, but not all of us have interests (and mine change from time to time) that so easily translate to career paths.

Obviously, those of us on the spectrum can do a whole lot of things. And we could do even more if our institutions, esp education and employment, accepted that different just sometimes means different.

And for your family, maybe even scheduled respites during the good times, or staying on some occasions with other relatives if available?

Good luck during this difficult period.