How late is 'too late' to get started with a relationship?

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they are the majority nowadays unfortunately. relationships are just business partnerships now.

what all did he do?

i simi agree with the quote. though dont' understand your focus on young twenties women.

1. The dictionary defines "gifted" as "having great special talent or ability". That's not me. I wasn't born with some sort of innate gift for pure math... it was something I found interesting and spent five years in college/grad school studying.

2. How many girls have you asked out in the past year? Asked out over the phone or in person or in some form that isn't email/texting? Have you ACTUALLY been rejected a zillion times or did you get rejected a handful of times, internalize the rejection and give up on making any effort to date entirely? And the blame the mean, mean women who you never bothered to interact with for your lack of a love life?!

WantToGetALife - Are you depressed? Allusions to suicide? To not making it? To guys who committed suicide after never getting dates? If you're thinking of hurting yourself PLEASE TELL SOMEBODY AND GET HELP!

1. well i was only referring to the use in common use not its definition. most people call gifted had to go to school or spend time learning and getting better at their gift. just that others who tried failed to do so and they didn't. not like musicians pop out playing guitars at birth. they have to learn how to play it but they're good at it.

2. lost count. and okcupid/pof only keep track of it for a while. well pof only keeps track of it for a month then deletes it.
not a zillion i said hundreds and yes. only asked out one girl in person in my whole life. tried another. women don't want to be asked out in person or approached. many here have said that. just leave women alone when they are out of their house and of course without saying in their house. yeah I have pretty much given up. writing very good medium length letters just to be rejected by hundreds of women got tiring and draining. aspies aren't social creatures so dong those things drain us. add to that just being rejected over and over. though the new trend by women is to just reject men before they ever message them. they do this by listing a list of requirements and saying if you don't' meet it all don't message. so I just read their profiles and see that at the end(not to women put it at the top, so we don't waste our time)
if year is from january then less then 5. as I gave up almost completely around christmas. just trying to accept my fate and make peace.

though don't' expect anything from you as you'e said pretty much the same things. what I don't get is why you care if we die. you think weren't worthless and say we'll never get love. I do't get why people do this. "you worthless trash better off dead. what don't' kill yourself." think it comes down to culture of fearing death and that people want others to suffer and not get to take the way out. but I don't intend to let someone who thinks I'm worthless trash to tell me if I can die or not to suit their needs of a make believe world. if Id been born pre 80s I'd died in some war. this was nature's way of dealing with us worthless people finding the one worth we could have dying for our nation. now we're barred from doing so.

As a guy I hate being the one in charge

1. Well then, what you call my level of "gifted" (which I call "pretty smart & diligent student") is within your grasp too, should you elect to bother to pursue some sort of education.

2. You asked one girl out in person and she said no and that's a rejection you've elected to internalize? Um, I asked a boy to prom and he said no. Rejection hurts, but simply decideded that 1 guy already having a prime date didn't mean I was doomed to be alone forever. Sending messages to girls on (however lovingly crafted) internet dating sites, especially FREE internet dating sites, doesn't count as "true" rejections -- you don't know how long ago the girl put the profile up or whether she's checked it within the last 5 yrs.

3. The long list of qualities that women list in dating profiles is a wish list -- not an actual list of requirements (most of the time). Its like a job advert -- the company/girl lists all the stuff company/she wants, knowing its unlikely they'll get that and so happily prepare to settle for 60-70% of that list!

4. If you've given up trying to date, well, it's your call. You're fully aware that decision makes it less likely you will ever find a date, yes?

5. Depression is a real illness, for which actual help exists. Please consider getting some.

The key to success in real life is that you need to know that she is interested before you ask for a date, or whatever you want to start with. That way you get no rejections (at least not at that stage). The best way to know that (at least in my experience), is to try to make eye-contact with her and make sure that she reciprocates properly. If you do it multiple times with the same result, chances increases that she will not reject you. With this method girls might ignore you, but you are never outright rejected.

1. 4 years in college, degree and all that s**t
2. do too count they are still people. just cause i don't subscribe to your old fashioned and not in use way of dating and meeting people don't make it not real rejections. I'm not walking up to women on the street and talking to them. they probably in a relationship already. i know nothing about the. they don't want to be bothered anyways. way too little information to go on. too risky to end up being called a creep or worse. they responded saying no. also you do. lol they tell you when there were last active or when they'll online. some even tell you when they read your message.

3. well they say all or nothing. as in this is their bare minimum requirements. as in they have more they aren't' listing.

4. given up because it's hopeless. I don't and won't ever meet their requirements. whats the point. sure I could keep bothering them, just to have them call me a loser and reject me over and over but why, what does that accomplish.

aspie who can't read eye or looks here. also sounds creepy to do that.
which is why I use dating sites where you learn about each other and girl shows interest. then I can message or not. since they clearly say they don't want a guy like me. so I'm confused why they liked me.

Well, then perhaps you aren't especially good at whatever it is you do. That doesn't make me gifted for being really good at my unrelated-to-yours-job. Nor does it preclude you from being really good at some *other* job, should you seek/obtain one.




It takes a LOT to come off as insta-creepy via dating website. Particularly after a *single* message. And the dating sites clearly aren't working for you.



Assume the bare bones minimum requirement is financially independent (not wealthy, self-supporting) and doesn't live with their parents for adult men who have completed their post-secondary education.

Ages ago, when I did OKCupid, I specified an age range & education level. Only guys who mentioned hunting/fishing as a hobby automatically were automatically "no" (proxy for good ole country boys = too many awful first dates). Like, nearly half my closest girlfriends found husbands online and were similarly circumspect in their non-negotiable requirements.



Well then, it's time to stop complaining about being single and start deleting your profile from dating sites. Stop moaning and devote your time to something, anything else!

But half of them will get a divorce and become available again.

I didn't have my first real girlfriend until I was 29. We were together for 18 months or so. I met my wife when I was 31. Been married 15 years now. If I can have 2 serious relationships, anybody could. For some reason women just didn't find me attractive for the first 29 years of my life.

glad you were able to get one before you turned 30

not your life so just leave me alone.

don't need more people telling me how awful and horrible I am.

Everybody can see if somebody looks back. In fact, Aspies probably are superior at detecting that, and it is not part of NTs typical communication. It's only creepy if you overdo it.



From what I've read, this way seems like a big failure to you, so why do you continue with a failure?

It angers me, even fills me with boiling rage whenever people say it is never too late or better late than never, you have plenty of time, because people who generally say that, got to experience dating and relationships when they were in their teens and 20's, their youth.

You have three years of your 20s/youth left. You could be one of my hose people. Or Elliot Rodger.