People who keep using your name, annoying??! !!



Page 1 of 2 [ 23 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2  Next

Joe90
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: Feb 23, 2010
Posts: 10668
Location: Great Britain

11 Oct 2011, 10:41 am

I have a friend who says my name in every sentence she says to me, and it drives me mad inside. It's literally in every sentence she says, and I can always tell by her tone of voice when she's going to say it. It really makes me feel like changing my name to a name what I love hearing. I've always hated my name anyway, since I was very little, and I don't understand why some people have to keep using it all the time. I mean, I know she's talking to me, so why keep using it? Not only that - she keeps saying it loud in every shop when she talks, and I don't really like the whole town knowing my name. But I can't exactly tell her not to keep saying my name because it's just a habit she's gotten herself into. I don't like my friends to tread on eggshells around me really, and it might just make her feel awkward if I said not to keep saying my name, because really, it is only a trivial thing. But to me it's really annoying.

Anyone else feel the same?


_________________
Yes I am a straight female.
From East UK
Aged 24


OJani
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: Feb 23, 2011
Posts: 2523
Location: Budapest, Hungary, Europe

11 Oct 2011, 10:52 am

I think you have the right to tell her to at least use your name less frequently. What she does would freak me out, too, and I think most people as well.


_________________
Another non-English speaking - DX'd at age 38
"Aut viam inveniam aut faciam." (Hannibal) - Latin for "I'll either find a way or make one."


ToughDiamond
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: Sep 15, 2008
Posts: 4893

11 Oct 2011, 11:02 am

Yes, pretty much. My upbringing made me associate being called by name with being rebuked and pushed around. My dentist doesn't do himself any favours by using it either.....he has a superior air about him, and he always sounds like he's trying to get me to look at him while he lectures me. I think he does have a bit of a problem with arrogance, though I don't know if I'm over-reacting. My childhood experiences would suggest that I am. Anybody using my name after every sentence would annoy me very quickly, that seems really patronising.

I'm OK about if if the people who do it are generally unassuming folks who treat me like an equal. Even so, it'll probably only work if they use the shortened, familiar form of my name, not the Sunday version.

So with me it depends how it's done. If done right, it could make me feel better instead of worse. But it isn't often done right.

I know using names is supposed to be a good way of pleasing people. It did seem to work when I tried it once....I said "Hello, [NAME]" to somebody and managed to make it sound warm, and they seemed more friendly towards me after that. But for some reason I haven't done it again with anybody. I think it's like eye contact, it just doesn't occur to me.



Joe90
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: Feb 23, 2010
Posts: 10668
Location: Great Britain

11 Oct 2011, 11:27 am

I don't mind when people say ''hello (name)'', but it's when people say ''look at this (name) it's only one pound (name)'', or stuff like that. It sounds too demanding sometimes.


_________________
Yes I am a straight female.
From East UK
Aged 24


twich
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: Sep 12, 2011
Posts: 324

11 Oct 2011, 11:59 am

Haha Yes! My small community of people I choose to let in typically use nicknames for eachother, even my Mum- I'm usually sweetie or something mushy like that to her. The one times we REALLY use names is when we need the person to listen because it's serious or when I'm in trouble (and I know how much trouble by how many names are used- First, middle, last is the biggest trouble lol)



safffron
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

User avatar

Joined: Aug 18, 2011
Posts: 166

11 Oct 2011, 12:06 pm

I don't think it's a trivial thing. Who goes around inserting someone's name into every sentence they speak when they're addressing you? It's annoying. I wonder if your friend is conscious of what's she doing or it's some ingrained habit. Why does she do it?

Here's another scenario where this might bother me - When someone repeatedly inserts your name into a conversation to personalize it. It can be really obvious, like when someone's clumsily using language patterns or NLP to manipulate you or sell you something. Like you're not supposed to notice, but you do.



Australien
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: May 17, 2011
Posts: 301

11 Oct 2011, 3:42 pm

safffron wrote:
I don't think it's a trivial thing. Who goes around inserting someone's name into every sentence they speak when they're addressing you? It's annoying. I wonder if your friend is conscious of what's she doing or it's some ingrained habit. Why does she do it?

Here's another scenario where this might bother me - When someone repeatedly inserts your name into a conversation to personalize it. It can be really obvious, like when someone's clumsily using language patterns or NLP to manipulate you or sell you something. Like you're not supposed to notice, but you do.


I've had salespeople and customer service people do that and it annoys me greatly. Any time someone does it, I question their motives.



Who_Am_I
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: Aug 27, 2005
Posts: 12567
Location: My body is in Brisbane and my mind is in the gutter. :D

11 Oct 2011, 6:39 pm

Yes.
There's only been one person in my life who could use my name, aside from as a device to get my attention, without it coming across as manipulative and annoying the hell out of me.


_________________
Music Theory 101: Cadences.
Authentic cadence: V-I
Plagal cadence: IV-I
Deceptive cadence: V- ANYTHING BUT I ! !! !
Beethoven cadence: V-I-V-I-V-V-V-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I
-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I! I! I! I I I


LEU
Emu Egg
Emu Egg

User avatar

Joined: Jun 17, 2013
Posts: 6

18 Jun 2013, 9:49 pm

It's even worse when you are the only person around and someone keeps saying your name like a punctuation mark. And notice how angry and offended some people get when you return the "favour"... but sometimes they get the hint.

I actually stopped using my original name, which I disliked, not only due to it being ugly-sounding, and deliberately mistaken by bullies for a four-letter word, but because someone in my family would bellow it out and let everyone around, including people I was trying to avoid - know I was present.



legomyego
Toucan
Toucan

User avatar

Joined: Mar 31, 2012
Posts: 282

19 Jun 2013, 2:54 am

yes tis annoying



hanyo
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: Sep 30, 2011
Posts: 4406

19 Jun 2013, 3:12 am

It took me a long time to stop hating my name and wanting to change it. In school I remember kids saying my name in a mocking and insulting way.



jk1
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: Sep 30, 2012
Posts: 5373

19 Jun 2013, 4:06 am

I'm an immigrant in Australia. I noticed that people here tend to say the addressee's name just to make it sound more personal and friendly. It's nice, but I find it very difficult to do the same. I find it so much easier to say, "Hi!" than "Hi, [name]!" because you actually have to think of the other person's name.

I would find it annoying if anyone said my name with every sentence, but no one around me actually does that to that extent. I guess my name not being really easy to say prevents people from saying it too often.

I think the OP can nicely let her friend know that it would be nice if her friend could say her name less often during conversations.



neilson_wheels
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: Mar 11, 2013
Posts: 1566
Location: London, Capital of the Un-United Kingdom

19 Jun 2013, 4:40 am

Is it just you that she does this to or other people too?

You can politely ask her not to do this, no big problem. If that does not work then insert her name into what you say as frequently as she does to you. This should raise awareness of the issue.



KingdomOfRats
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: Oct 31, 2005
Posts: 5313
Location: f'ton,manchester UK

19 Jun 2013, 8:32 am

just ask her if its a problem,a friend shoud/woud be willing to make sure they dont p off their friends,so they shoud have no problem with it as long as do not say it to them in a offensive way.

am the odd one out in this thread at the moment,but if people did not say name woud not be aware they were there and woud carry on doing own thing,it helps to hear it every so often so am still tuned into them and know its not someone else theyre yapping to.
hate it when am being told something by someone and they start speaking to other people during the middle of it without using their name as will then get confused thinking am the one their interrupted message was for.

either way,people suck,yeah.


_________________
>severely autistic.
>>the residential autist; http://theresidentialautist.blogspot.co.uk
blogging from the view of an ex institutionalised autism/ID activist now in community care.
>>>help to keep bullying off our community,report it!


Adamantium
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: Feb 06, 2013
Posts: 2437
Location: New Jersey in the orbit of New York City

19 Jun 2013, 9:24 am

I do that, sorry.

I explain why, though: I have a very hard time remembering people's names. Someone taught me to try to repeat a persons name at least three times, preferably more, when I first meet them. This increases the odds that I might recall the name. It is marginally effective so I will keep doing it. If I ever do it while talking to you, please understand.



Display posts from previous:  Sort by  


Page 1 of 2 [ 23 posts ] Go to page 1, 2  Next



 Similar Topics 
Annoying People

[ Go to page: 1, 2 ]

in General Autism Discussion

18 Dec 2006, 5:57 pm

hartzofspace View the latest post

People think you're annoying because....

[ Go to page: 1, 2, 3, 4 ]

in Random Discussion

31 Jan 2008, 10:01 pm

Strapples View the latest post

Why are people so annoying to me?

in Social Skills and Making Friends

02 Apr 2014, 2:07 pm

coffeebean View the latest post

Annoying people :(

[ Go to page: 1, 2 ]

in Social Skills and Making Friends

14 May 2013, 8:06 am

katkore View the latest post



You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot post attachments in this forum
Jump to: