Why do you wish you was born NT?

Post Reply New Topic

This is for those who wish you was born NT - I'm not intending to start a war zone here.

OK, there's tons of reasons why I want to be NT, but the reason is NOT ''because I wouldn't have any problems if I were NT'', because that is just the stupid thing Aspies say when given this question, some think that having normal social skills will solve all your problems. I know some NTs who have more problems than I do.
But the reason why I wish I was born NT is because little mundane things come natural to them, which must be so handy. With me little mundane things don't come naturally to me, so I have to learn them, and so I worry about them AND all the big things what most NTs have to worry about. You see?
Plus I think they react and deal with things quicker than I do, whereas I just sit and dwell on all of my mistakes all the time and never actually focus on the good things what I do. But this may come from low self-esteem.

Most NTs like to conform, and they know how to do it, and if they don't want to conform, then they don't really care what other people think because maybe they want to be different. But as for me, I want to conform, but I'm not always sure how, and sometimes I do or say the wrong thing without meaning to, then I regret it afterwards and hate myself for it, and I'm self-aware enough to have embarrassed emotions after doing something embarrassing, and I've always got so many irrational thoughts in my head. I feel silly and awkward all the time, and I can't help but give off impressions to make me look silly and awkward, especially in awkward situations. Once when I stood up on the bus before I got off, the bus-driver put her arm out in front of me as if to say ''do not step further beyond this point until the bus actually stops please'', and I couldn't give off a more nervous impression if I tried. I clenched up and put both of my hands together near my chest and then my mind was on that for the rest of the day. An NT would probably think, ''oh she doesn't want me standing beyond this point'' then get off and probably forget about it, and just worry about bigger problems (and may just bring it up to someone in small talk). I wish I could do this, but I can't seem to stop my mind from focusing on the trivial things. I wish I knew how to go with the flow a little more. I think NTs are better at that than me.
And there are so many more reasons why I would love to be born NT, but they're too long and complicated to explain.

Anyway, enough said about me - what's your reasons for wishing you was NT?

To be able to read situations
To be able to take the initiative to talk to someone
To be more open-minded
To not get locked in a mind set
To be able to experience social situations as positive
So people would like me
To be able to maintain friends
To be able to focus more
To not be the outcast

List goes on...
Keep in mind that i`m not an aspie.

I like the way you put it. To not be the outcast. This is exactly what I feel. When I was at school I was in a class of about 28 NTs, and I struggled throughout my school life with making friends and being part of a crowd and being accepted and so on. And I didn't like being the ''class dork''. Most kids say that in every class there is always one person who's different in some sort of way to the rest (doesn't necessarily mean they're an Aspie), but I really thought how it was such a horrible fluke that it had to be me. Even now as an adult, I may have developed better social skills, but I still feel that I'm the odd one. At my volunteer job people called me ''quiet'' and ''quirky'' and I even got non-verbal signs that some of them thought I was a bit odd. And I really don't know why it has to be me. My family thought I was normal in the 4 years before I started school. But no, it couldn't be. I was the one who got highly anxious at Infants School and expressed it too much by throwing tantrums at unpredictable events and making the other children a little wary of me. I was the one who needed all the special ed by needing a helper sitting next to me in class throughout my whole school life. I was the one who had the difficulties fitting in, when practically all NT kids have at least one good friend to keep them going throughout school life. But with some Aspies there's even less chance of having one good friend. All the girls in my class seemed to all hang out in a crowd, and sometimes they would just about let me join in, and other times they got very cliquey and would ignore me.

It simply wasn't fair.

to Joe90

Hey, lol this is my first post on wrong planet! yay!

To answer your question about being an NT, or rather wishing that I was born NT is actually related to the sensory part of AS rather than the social.
After being diagnosed a few years ago, i can say for all aspies that socializing in no longer the issue that it used to be for me, at least not as much anyways, i have a lot more friends (even more than some NT's) and a 'normal' life.

I wish I was NT becuase they tend to be able to tolerate sound, light, touch etc, much better than I can. I want to go to concerts and parties and bars, but i often cannot stay too long there as the light and noise and people become all too much sometimes. although I DO share some common interests like other nt's who go out clubbing, I just too sensitive for all that stimuli!

Other than that. I really wouldn't change anything. i've come to accept having asperger's as a part of life and too accept it

I get lonely sometimes. Most of the time i don't care for my lack of social interaction, but there's some occasions where i really want to talk to someone.. And there's no-one.
Maybe if i was NT, then i would have someone to turn to when i'm bored.

But to be honest, I don't really mind being an aspie. I'd hate to be the same as everyone else.

However i would trade away my adhd, social anxiety and ocd.

Why would somebody wish to be somebody else?

I dont get it.

I don't know. There's no real logical answer as to why some Aspies crave to be like everyone else. It's just the feelings some of us get inside us. Some of us don't like being the outcast. Some of us wish we could live a life fitting in easier and always being able to make friends if we wanted to.

I feel like I can't focus on looking at things. When I was at school, on Sports Days, the kids all cheered when watching other kids running a race, and they would stay focused on who was winning and who was losing, and would go a bit mad. But me, all I saw was just a bunch of kids running. I just wasn't bothered in who was going to win. All I wanted to do was go home.

See, NTs seem to be able to focus on the present (unless they have something coming up what they want to get prepared for, or something happened the day before what made them upset or something). With me, I think about the past and the future more than the present. If I went to the zoo, I can't seem to focus on admiring the animals. I can stare for ages into a cage with one or two monkeys in, and the person next to me would say, ''can you see that monkey there by the big tree? He's so cute!'' and I just realised that all that time I was staring into the cage I never actually saw the monkeys, whereas all the people around me were focused on the monkeys and nothing else for a few seconds. I was probably was just staring and thinking in the back of my mind, ''when's lunch?'' Then when we have lunch and I finish I would just be sitting there thinking, ''where shall we go now?'' It's like that all the time, whereas NTs can stay much more focused and enjoy the very present and not keep getting distracted by time.
Shopping is another example. I cannot browse leisurely, like other females do (not quite sure about men and shopping). Women walk into a clothes shop and their whole mind can get absorbed into the clothes, and really know what they like, and know what's cheap and what's expensive for that item, and then they go and try stuff on and look at themselves in the mirror, their mind still being focused on it, and they notice if their bum looks big in the trousers they are trying on, or if their boobs look big in the top they are trying on, and they decide with themselves how good or bad they look, and they go back and try more on until they get it just right, without getting too distracted by noise and other people around them (if they do their mind can switch straight back onto the clothes again). But I simply cannot do that. I walk into a clothes shop, take a look at the clothes, get scared stiff if somebody stands in my personal space, worry that everybody's watching me so I clench up, and seem to look beyond all of the clothes and just think about tiny little things like, ''what if I knock something off the rails?'' or ''that T-shirt over there is very white, what if somebody buys it and it gets dirty?'' or ''I wonder what the people at the tills are thinking?'' and just little trivial things like that.

That is why I want to be NT, so that I can practically enjoy life a bit more and stay focused on things what I came out to see.

Because I get lonely. Really bad sometimes. Simple as that. And lots of NTs get lonely too, but very few know what it's like to literally not speak to anyone for months on end. How bad it can mess with your head.

Ever since realizing that being an NT isn't an immunity to having all the difficulties Aspies do, I've been more comfortable with myself. Also, neurotypicality has a certain... air, you know? A certain all-encompassing impression. It is largely unattractive to me, but I sometimes wonder how things would have been different if I had been born that way. I'd probably be more feminine. My mom wouldn't be disappointed that I'm not at all like the daughter she thought she'd have. And so on. Heck, I'd probably have a job right now.
Also, and this is the big one... I might not have developed epilepsy. It was like putting a nuclear bomb to my teenage development. It hung like a dark cloud over my mind.

Literally months ! I can understand days perhaps. I am pretty introverted but I do interact with people every day or so. I don't need to communicate much on my job, but I do have conversations with people I care about a few times a week and I live alone.
No, I would not want to be an NT, as if that were possible.

"To not be the outcast"

It is very sad that a person would want to be someone else simply because they lived around intolerance. I hope those that feel that way find a place that is more tolerant of them.

It sounds as if you cant focus on the things that interest you.

I have no problem focusing. The opposite. I have the feeling that people are missing the moments with trivialities.

Its mostly them who are stressing and trying hard NOT to experience the moment. I also am thinking about past and future, but most of the time Im right there in the middle of my surroundings, and I enjoy that.

I have a lot of fun, and I can make people understand my view, which they think is interesting and also I laugh a lot with people.

The thing is that I think most people are boring and sometimes they are so unrelaxed and misanderstanding me so much, that I think it is sad that I cant share with them how I see things.

Maybe its just about accepting being different. If I would have to go shopping and having tea-parties all the time, I would have the feeling of wasting moments in life. Though... it still can be interesting, but then Im out of it (from an NT viewpoint) and in such moments I may seem... dreamy?

Well, no, to me this is a logical impossibility. If I was born NT, I would not be me as I know, thus I would not be born, but someone else would be. So it would not be I born NT, but someone else. I wish I had less problems and maybe a slightly different upbringing in some ways, but I do not wish for myself to not exist.

For me, though, it's slightly different, I'm not technically Aspergers, but NVLD. I've got some Aspie traits, probably quite a lot of them, but it's more that half of me is a genius and half of me is kinda dumb. 130+ verbal IQ, like 80 nonverbal. My general performance IQ was tested as like 110 as a kid, but now as an adult it's like 95, but that could simply be because I don't do as much math in my head as I used to. So, it's hard when half of you knows everything, and the other half of you has a hard time accomplishing even simple things. However, I don't know if I'd want a "balanced" 100/100 kinda IQ, either. I'm used to the way I am, and I'd almost think something like that would be a downgrade. At the same time, it could be unreasonable to, say, want 130+/130+ IQ, as then that'd make me more or less a superhuman. I do kinda wish I was born with 130+/130+, though, but you can't win them all.

I don't wish to be a neurotypical at all. Neurotypical tends to mean stupid as far as I'm concerned. I went to school with a s**t ton of neurotypicals who couldn't learn anything. They couldn't do simple math or understand simple concepts like lurking variables in probability & statistics, which, by the way, was the easiest math class EVER. You get a graphing calculator. You get the programs for it. You sometimes even get the data, and all you have to do is hit a button or two to run said data thru the program, and then you write down the answer. It's that simple. But no, that was too hard for NTs. I wouldn't trade my brain for anything. Sometimes I wish I was a bit less aware of the way the world really is because it's very depressing, but I don't know how much happier I'd be without knowing that.

Now, I don't think that everyone who isn't good at math is just stupid. I don't know why they can't get it. It's simple as hell to me, but it wasn't just math. It was reading, spelling, grammar, history, pretty much everything. I felt like I was surrounded by idiots in school, and I still feel like that today, except I'm not forced to deal with as many of them, and as an adult I'm now better able to pick and choose who I'm around because I'm not forced to go to school. I think what bothers me the most is that no matter how many times they're told the same thing, they just don't get it, and they continue to ask the same questions over and over again.

What I do wish for is people to take what I say for what I say and not take anything away from it or add anything to it... I want my words taken at face value, period. I want people to stop misinterpreting everything that comes out of my mouth. I want people to be more tolerant, and I want to stop feeling stupid for making simple little mistakes about what people are talking about when they're not specific enough for me. I want them to stop being pissed at me for asking for clarification or asking them to repeat themselves cuz I didn't pick up what they said. And I want people to stop talking about sports every five seconds... I don't wanna even hear the word "obsession" applied to anything I like EVER because compared to NTs worship of sports, my "obsessions" are NOTHING.

I don't know if I wish I was born NT... I like being a little different because I feel unique. I would also really like to be able to relate to NTs in the ways they seem to be able to relate to each other. The biggest reason why I like this website is because I can relate to other people on it in ways I can't relate to NTs.

i do not wish that i was born any other way than i am. i have managed to integrate into my odd world, and i am happy there ("here" to me).

i have no negative attitude toward people who are very normal, and who are socially able to "get up and dance" (as it were).

i have no desire to join in, and i think that even if i did, it would cause a whole new world of worries for me.

it would be an immense chore for me to remember what they said to me when they last saw me.
i do not generally listen to people because i have no interest in what they are saying most of the time.

for me to be embroiled in all the dramas and emotional emergencies and perceptions of moral scandals by people who are unimpaired is beyond my ability.

i can not do it. i also do not care that i can not do it because i am not interested in it.

i get away with living my life in social isolation, but i do have much influence on the parts of reality i own (like employees and finances etc).

other people can waste their time "howling at the moon" in unison with their contemporaries, but i would prefer to do what interests me, and that is obscure to almost everyone.

again i do not care.