Polite Aspies?

Post Reply New Topic

I am now, I didn't know how to three and more years ago.

This.

Then I became a depressed teen & dropped it. Lately though I've taken to doing this again (lots of thank yous) because I think that it really makes the other person look like a jerk when they start in on someone acting overly polite.

There are tons of people with AS I know that would be considered "shy yet polite". It goes either way.

I am very polite but i can't lie... like if someone would ask me.. does this make me look fat(and if it does) i'll just be polite and say YES IT DOES.

and if someone says something stupid, i won't neglect it but i'll point it out to them.

I'm extremely polite, "please" and "thank you" are almost the most common words out of my mouth (right behind f--- and s---). Usually it's the content of what I say, rather than how I say it, that offends people.

I am very polite and formal most of the time. The times that I feel the need to speak up are when someone is saying something untrue or incorrect. Sometimes doing so is seen as rude.

I find that people think that I am the most polite person that they've met, but I don't think that is what "they" are talking about. It's is when we comment on something that "apparently" shouldn't be comment on. It's not a lack of grace, but an inability decipher what is taboo.

Last edited by TheBrain on 14 Oct 2011, 11:01 am, edited 1 time in total.

I'm a polite Aspie

This is a much better worded version of what I was trying to say.

Yes the politeness rules were clear and consistent when I was a child in the 50s and 60s. But in secondary school there was a counter-culture of rudeness....it was a larger school than the early ones, so we weren't watched so closely, and if you didn't show you were a bit of a roughneck, you'd likely get bullied. So then I needed 2 masks. But even that didn't work. I brought a couple of fights onto myself by insulting bullies.

These days I go for an overall courteous and respectful approach, with a dash of earthy vernacular just to stop it getting too robotic and inhibited. There is a kind of refreshing quality to a bit of rudeness, I think, if it's done with care. Thinks can get so politically correct you just know it's fake, and a good raspberry at the right time can really cheer everybody up. I seem to be seen as a polite guy, on the whole. I find it a lot more fun to try to make people feel good, than to piss them off.

I am sometimes unintentionally inappropriate (it helps that I don't talk much) but never intentionally rude.

I learned very early that good social graces were a way to mitigate the effects of poor social skills.

Exactly. I am also hyper empathetic so if I unintentionally make someone feel bad I can feel their pain.