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JoshthePoet
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31 Oct 2011, 1:51 pm

I think after providing some feedback to some very talented poets here I think I should show you all one of my poems from my first book, as I couldn't get any promotion or feedback from WP ironically. The book is called - Between the Lines of Autism.

Shot Down in Flames
by Joshua Davies (c)

He fell
Past his father
Towards the endless sea
Far from the endless sky
Towards his destiny as a symbol
Of a lession mankind should have seen
Never dare dream beyond the precipice
Never be tempted to transcend to the Gates of Paradise
To not do what the Morningstar did, and fall from grace
But instead stay put in their place

Hope you enjoyed it :)



Abgal64
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31 Oct 2011, 4:43 pm

JoshthePoet wrote:
I think after providing some feedback to some very talented poets here I think I should show you all one of my poems from my first book, as I couldn't get any promotion or feedback from WP ironically. The book is called - Between the Lines of Autism.

Shot Down in Flames
by Joshua Davies (c)

He fell
Past his father
Towards the endless sea
Far from the endless sky
Towards his destiny as a symbol
Of a lession mankind should have seen
Never dare dream beyond the precipice
Never be tempted to transcend to the Gates of Paradise
To not do what the Morningstar did, and fall from grace
But instead stay put in their place

Hope you enjoyed it :)
I am interpreting the poem to have a moral somewhat like "be content." It is not my style so I am probably not the best person to ask but to me it seems too ambiguous (though if were you going for a metaphoric and polyvalent style you seem to have done well.)


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JoshthePoet
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01 Nov 2011, 8:57 am

Thanks for commenting :) Yeah it's kind of ambiguous if the reader doesn't know who I'm on about in the poem. Out of the 20 poems in the book this was one poem I thought should be aimed at the literacy boffins as the most of my poems are meant to be simple with direct meanings. Before I did my english studies involving the Renaissance I wrote this using metaphors of my goals and from my own knowledge of classics, showing it to my teacher during a lession we both realised I stuck upon a common topic of the Renaissance, so I am very proud of this poem. I would tell people what the poem's about but that would spoil it :D



Abgal64
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01 Nov 2011, 1:54 pm

JoshthePoet wrote:
Thanks for commenting :) Yeah it's kind of ambiguous if the reader doesn't know who I'm on about in the poem. Out of the 20 poems in the book this was one poem I thought should be aimed at the literacy boffins as the most of my poems are meant to be simple with direct meanings. Before I did my english studies involving the Renaissance I wrote this using metaphors of my goals and from my own knowledge of classics, showing it to my teacher during a lession we both realised I stuck upon a common topic of the Renaissance, so I am very proud of this poem. I would tell people what the poem's about but that would spoil it :D
What classics did you study? Sanskrit, Greek, Mesopotamian, Roman, Ancient Egyptian, Chinese?


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JoshthePoet
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02 Nov 2011, 7:19 am

I've always been a fan of the mythology of diffirent cultures so alot of my knowledge comes from and branches from that. While doing my english course I was to study Doctor Faustus and Paradise Lost and I was the only one in my class to know of the Greek classics that the writers were refering too - the Greek tales of their champions and the Pantheon of Gods. Other than Greek I've studyed Egyptian classics and just bits and bobs of infomation I remember from many others. :)



JoshthePoet
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02 Nov 2011, 7:22 am

Speaking of classics, your profile picture looks familiar :D who's that a statue of?



Abgal64
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02 Nov 2011, 2:36 pm

JoshthePoet wrote:
Speaking of classics, your profile picture looks familiar :D who's that a statue of?
It is not a statue but a drawing on paper of Shen Kuo, a great Chinese scholar-bureaucrat, polymath and genius who lived during the Song Dynasty (the High Middle Ages.) Wikipedia has a very good article on him if you are interested.


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JoshthePoet
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03 Nov 2011, 6:28 am

Well I'm always looking for new inspiration so I'l be sure to check him out :)