Unwritten social rules of Facebook

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Joined: 13 Apr 2011
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08 Nov 2011, 10:41 am

If you do not know someone very well or are not very close to them, it's kind of creepy or annoying, to comment on most of their status/photos.

ictus75
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08 Nov 2011, 11:10 am

If it's someone I don't know very well, I keep it non-personal, such as: "Great photo!" or "I've had that happen too" or similar observations. This can help to get to know them better and have them respond on your page.

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Vigilans
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08 Nov 2011, 11:33 am

Even if you do know them well it can be considered a faux pas.

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minervx
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08 Nov 2011, 12:21 pm

ictus75 wrote:

if you want to be less personally, simply giving it a like rather than a comment is sufficient.

if i want to get to know the person better, i would start with having a real conversation with them rather than in comments.

also, the frequency of how often you comments matters. i wouldnt comment on most of their posts unless i was close with them. if someone i barely knew commented on all my statuses, i'd feel a little wierded out.

Radiofixr
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08 Nov 2011, 12:40 pm

I comment sometimes too much to another person who is also an aspie and I do it because a lot of the time I am the only one that comments ever-I want the person to at least have one comment.

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Asp-Z
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08 Nov 2011, 12:43 pm

Another one is never, ever, under any circumstances, like your own status.

Vigilans
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08 Nov 2011, 12:48 pm

Asp-Z wrote:

Another one is never, ever, under any circumstances, like your own status.

I do this sometimes but only when I write facetious stuff like "I am so awesome"

anna-banana
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08 Nov 2011, 3:30 pm

it is only ok to comment/like recently added photos

when someone makes an announcement, like having gotten married or given birth, it's not ok to comment with anything other than congratulations

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Vigilans
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08 Nov 2011, 3:48 pm

anna-banana wrote:

it is only ok to comment/like recently added photos

when someone makes an announcement, like having gotten married or given birth, it's not ok to comment with anything other than congratulations

What I find weird is when people write "R.I.P. grandma" or something and people "Like" the status. I mean, wtf? Am I crazy for finding this odd or inappropriate?

Asp-Z
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08 Nov 2011, 3:57 pm

Vigilans wrote:

anna-banana wrote:

it is only ok to comment/like recently added photos

when someone makes an announcement, like having gotten married or given birth, it's not ok to comment with anything other than congratulations

What I find weird is when people write "R.I.P. grandma" or something and people "Like" the status. I mean, wtf? Am I crazy for finding this odd or inappropriate?

I'm with you there. I mean, I know they don't literally like that someone's died, but it does still feel weird and creepy.

anneurysm
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08 Nov 2011, 4:26 pm

minervx wrote:

also, the frequency of how often you comments matters. i wouldnt comment on most of their posts unless i was close with them. if someone i barely knew commented on all my statuses, i'd feel a little wierded out.

One of the young ladies I mentor makes this mistake quite a lot. She'll post a lot on her favourite bands' pages and on the page of the guy she has a crush on, but doesn't realize that there is no reciprocity. They aren't responding back because they may be creeped out, and I worry about how they see her.

Would it be a good idea to inform her of this habit? She thinks that the one guy has a crush on her, but her excessive posting may scare him away.

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Given a “tentative” diagnosis as a child as I needed services at school for what was later correctly discovered to be a major anxiety disorder.

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I’m no longer involved with the ASD world.

Asp-Z
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08 Nov 2011, 4:29 pm

minervx wrote:

You know, I recently got closer to someone on Facebook by commenting on her statuses and starting conversations that way. I made a joke that I'd like everything she posts, but I'd look like a stalker, and she said "I know you're my stalker anyway" in a jokey way and started doing the same to me.

Now we basically talk everyday

anna-banana
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08 Nov 2011, 5:08 pm

Asp-Z wrote:

Vigilans wrote:

anna-banana wrote:

it is only ok to comment/like recently added photos

when someone makes an announcement, like having gotten married or given birth, it's not ok to comment with anything other than congratulations

What I find weird is when people write "R.I.P. grandma" or something and people "Like" the status. I mean, wtf? Am I crazy for finding this odd or inappropriate?

I'm with you there. I mean, I know they don't literally like that someone's died, but it does still feel weird and creepy.

I heard that facebook came up with the "recommend" feature so people wouldn't be inappropriately liking pieces of news.

anyway, I once "liked" a "R.I.P. Famous Person" story because that was how I found out about it and immediately thought "ooh that's a piece of big news, thanks for letting me know!", so that's what the "like" meant but I quickly "unliked" it when I realised that it might look inappropriate for the non-mind-reading crowd

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League_Girl
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08 Nov 2011, 5:40 pm

Do not post TMI like how your kid had a biggest messy diaper you just had to clean up or how your kid vomited

Do not post photos of your kid's messy diaper or post them being on the potty

Do not post your pregnancy belly photos (I actually did this but hey I am not forcing anyone to click on the album, I keep my photos organized)

Do not flood your page with statuses about your children, make sure you talk about other stuff too in your statuses

Spell properly when posting comments and statuses (I made that one up)

Do not post on your profile you would not talk about in real life or around your boss or teachers or around anyone except certain people like do not post your rant on there about work or about school or about a person

Be careful what you put in your profile, bosses like to look your name up online and check out your Facebook page and if they see you like to get drunk and vomit a lot after, they may not want to hire you. If it's set to private, then that is another story, just don't ever add anyone to your friends from work. This also applies with college too. When accepting students to go there, they like to look you up also and also checkout your facebook. Even if you are in school or have a job, still be careful what you post on there and they do look at your profile so if you like called in sick and they see you posted on there that day, they will know even if you were not that sick to not use a computer.

Okay I think these are just guidelines but these things bother people so I put them here. The last two I put, that comes from reading or watching the news.

Ai_Ling
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08 Nov 2011, 10:49 pm

Don't post personal TMI status's or notes that give too much information

Like someone said, if you like a particular status or pic from someone who you dont know well just like it, dont comment

If you meet someone online and add them to fb, don't message them all the time unless its mutual. It's fine to IM them but going overboard on the IM, you can come across as a creep.

Generally as long as you are fairly acquainted with a person, its ok to add them. Its best not to add complete strangers unless you have something in common like common groups. I've gotten some adds from people off of wrongplanet and that's fine.

Do not put TMI comments on your friends profiles, even if you know them well because everyone can see. Just PM them.

FB has an IM feature, don't IM on peoples walls, that's annoying.

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09 Nov 2011, 5:12 am

There are unwritten social rules? Oops.

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